Wednesday, August 21, 2013
like a thorn in your side
Thankfully, they let Max see his father at the prison. He was so sure there would be some stipulation, but maybe they felt bad for him, too.
"This is a surprise." His dad was smiling. "What's wrong? Are you all right, son?"
Max sighed, not wanting to be in a melt down. His dad called him son. Maybe that was enough.
"Yeah, I'm fine." But even when he said it, he knew he wasn't. "No. That's not true." He could barely get out. Tears dripped down his face. "I was thinking..." He paused. "... about Mom." He wasn't sure he could go on. Maybe he didn't even have a right to know. But he was here. And he knew it now, the demon he was actually facing was his Dad. Max wanted to understand. "Did Mom and me..ever..mean..anything ...to you?"
His father only winced as he looked at Max in disbelief. As if how could he even ask?
"Of course, you did." His dad finally made an effort, but Max wasn't so sure he believed him.
"Are you...are you ..sure..you're my Dad?" Max asked but figured his Dad would lie. They might not ever get this settled, completely.
"Max." His dad shook his head. "I'm sorry..I really am. I'm just not good at this." Now his dad looked sad as he set at the table across from him in his ugly prison uniform. "I feel sure, when you have your own kids, you'll be so much better than I ever was." His dad tried to smile, but he was in tears too. "I guess..I guess I thought it best that..that you never really knew me."
"I've always wanted to know you. Always." Max told him. He didn't care how bad it might be. He wanted to know him.