Tuesday, September 17, 2013
all we do is mess around
It was true. Ian didn't set out to do this.
What had happened to all his good intentions? That was the last thing he wanted. Getting mixed up with Jama.
"You, think I've lost plot, yeah?" Not that he was expecting validation from Liz, but after all, he was taking up space at her place. She was bound to know Jama was around.
"Obviously, its what you want." She served him something hardly nutritious. Honestly, she could go to the market to pick up fresh produce. In fact, he liked his own meals better. He studied the egg sandwich, wish she could have at least fried the egg in butter instead of bacon drippings. "Or, are you taking only whats easy?"
She didn't look too pleased.
"What are, you getting at?" Wasn't like Liz did the conventional route. She'd never been married.
"Just saying, look at your priorities. You'll do the right thing." She shrugged.
Ian looked at her as if she must think the whole thing was doomed with Jama. Like it might be a certain season that came every 20 years are so, where summer never ended until a sudden bleak winter set in.
He scratched the back of his head. He hadn't needed his brother Oliver's help yet. Not with the recipes down at the pub. He couldn't talk to his other brother Eric.
After he finished up his sandwich, he called Jules.
"Did your mum tell you?" Ian knew she would. "About Jama...and me."
"No." Jules sound cold, immediately. "You know, no good can come of it. She's no good for you."
"Don't say that." He wished Jules could see her the way he did, but then he might fall quickly in love with her too. "Maybe..maybe it was you, who was no good for her." He knew that a while ago. Maybe, Ian thought he was right to be here.
"What? You, can't save her. You, know that. Don't go thinking you're her knight and shining armor shit, because she's really not good enough for you. Besides, you just broke someone's heart here. You've.." Jules stopped before he said more.
"So..how is she?" There was Josie to think about. Jules did have a way of making him feel guilty.
"Says she's got a date to Homecoming." Jules informed him.
"Good. I'm..I'm glad she's going out." Of course, a lump lodged in his throat. He'd hate to hear she was sleeping with someone. Then he thought how she'd feel if she knew he was with Jama now. He'd hate to know how she might react. "Anyone, you know?"
"No. Haven't met him. He's the new shelver. Guess, you're replaceable, after all." Jules' words stung Ian.
"Nothing..is really happening." Ian finally admitted. Yes, he liked being with Jama. He liked the pub, but he wasn't counting on any of it lasting.
He waited to hear Jules blast him, about not being at the university.
"How can you say that?" Jules asked. "Everything is unraveling. Its like I dunno who you are, anymore."
Not much was said after that. Ian knew Jules was wrong. He had to be wrong.