Syreeta didn't want to admit it, but things were changing. Evolving, but not in the way she thought it would happen. Especially, with Sawyer.
He was there for her birthday, and it was exceptional. Leave it to Luna to make everything so sweet. And she really enjoyed all her friends she'd made in high school. But there was one friend there she wasn't exactly talking about. She hadn't meant it to be a secret, but she'd found herself wanting to know who Holden really was.
It happened a few months back when Luna had her dinner party. Of course, the second she saw him she thought of Sunny Wilson. And she wondered how he was really doing after the car wreck. After all, he was the last one to see Sunny Wilson alive. It wasn't like people talked to him at school.
Maybe, she just felt sad for him. She didn't want to feel sorry for him. It wasn't like he'd actually warmed up to her. Not at first. But as time went on, she'd see him in the hall at school and when he looked at her, Syreeta would see a slight smile. She'd smile back.
She wanted to think it was nothing. Still she'd catch herself thinking about him and she hated the thought of not being true to Sawyer. After all, he had his own woes to deal with. He went to his mom's for winter break. Actually, he was being a pain about it.
Just when she didn't want him to be indifferent he was. This was not the Sawyer she knew, but she understood he was not happy. Although, she thought he was taking it out on her.
"You know, I'm not having any fun if you're not here." She informed him on Christmas eve when she called. Actually, she was forcing herself not to have fun even if Fish and Shan were being all silly and trying to get her to sing karoke Christmas carols with them.
"Promise?" He was ever so sullen. She promised. And it wasn't fun. She also felt guilty about having these weird feelings about Holden, too. He probably didn't even like her. Still, when she wanted to dream about Sawyer, it was Holden that always showed up in the dream. Usually, in her bed. Kissing her. She'd awake thinking it was just wrong. She didn't really want it to happen.
Holden was her secret crush, and it didn't seem to be going away when Sawyer got back.
He was all moody as if the inevitable was about to happen. Him moving home with his Mom.
"Well, it hasn't happened yet." She looked at him with his hands shoved into the pockets of his parka. It wasn't like he was exactly wanting to hold her hand. Was she suppose to be in a bad mood too? He was most definitely making her feel that his bad mood was definitely rubbing off on her.
She really didn't want this to happen, not with her first boyfriend. She wanted to keep a routine of things. Still it felt it was going stale, and she was sad herself, thinking she was the one who caused all this friction, and she hadn't even meant too.