Saturday, March 15, 2014

about now

About Now

Max woke up early. He couldn't shake the thought he'd been so strange lately. He kept thinking what he said to Dean, about not getting adopted.

For the life of him, he didn't know why he said it. He hadn't meant too. He couldn't think of a way to really make it up to him.

He rolled the thought over in his head, again and again. Maybe..he was just avoiding the inevitable. His future with Daisy. Perhaps that was why he hadn't really wanted to embrace the reality of the fact he was really going to be somebody's dad.

Of course, as he went to make a pot of coffee, practically in the dark, he thought for sure he was seriously no better than his Dad.

Sure he imagined what it might be from time to time to be a dad, but there was this grudge against Daisy that seized him until he felt numb, as if there was a pending doom that he might as well have tattooed on his wrist, 16 to life.

He couldn't let Angie get mixed up in that. He hoped she'd find someone else to have a crush on. He was definitely not who she thought he was.

As he waited for the coffee to finish the kitchen light came on. He almost jumped. To his surprise it was Jane.

"You couldn't sleep, either?" She pointed to the clock. It was 5 in the morning that used to be 4 in the morning last week.

Max sighed.

"I've got a lot on my mind." He went to get the skim milk out of the fridge. Coffee just wasn't coffee without milk.

She got out the LIFE cereal and the bowls as if they'd have an impromptu breakfast.

"Yeah, I have a lot on my mind too." She nodded as she put on some toast. He got out the orange marmalade and the peanut-butter.

They set quietly together mulling over their cereal and coffee for some time.

"They did some tests." Jane then said. "The baby has a heart defect." Her voice cracked as if she didn't like the outcome one bit.

Max looked at her, not knowing what to say.

"Its a boy, and the first thing they want to do is put him through surgery, the moment he's born." Her eyes welled up. Tears finally dripped down her face. She only sighed. "My mom finally told me, my" She cleared her throat. "one of those little people, you know..a dwarf ." She looked at Max, trying to smile. "God, if the baby had only been something like that. I'd be happy, you know. Really happy."

Max reached out for her hand. He squeezed it ever so gently.

"Just don't give up." Max told her, thinking now..had he'd given up? "There are so many things they can do now, you know. You, can't give up."

She only nodded.

He went to get some paper towels for her tears. They drank their coffee.

 It was still so cold and dark out. Jane said she might sleep now. Max went to take care of the dishes. While he was rinsing, he thought he should call Daisy. He wanted to go to her next doctor's appointment. They were so fortunate, he now thought.

Daisy had had a very healthy pregnancy so for. It hadn't really donned on him, until now.

He reached for his phone. It was still so early. He'd at least leave her a message, but she picked up on the first ring.

"Is everything OK?" She asked right away.

"Yeah." He first said, thinking she should be asleep. "Actually, no." He told her the situation about Asa and Jane's baby.

"That's..that's so scary," Daisy said.

"I..I was just wondering, if I could go to your next appointment?" Max asked.

"Of course." She was due a sonogram. She told him she'd been holding off about finding out the sex of the baby. "I just thought you'd want to be there, you know..with me..we could find out together."

"Yeah." Max smiled. "That would be great."


Cat Eyes & Skinny Jeans said...

I'm glad they're doing this together.


ivy said...

Aw, sweet moment with Jane. I hope she and the baby will be OK.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, these two are on the right page now.