up until now

Holden did feel a wee bit shaky. Maybe it was because he hadn't eaten this morning. Or the fact he looked at himself in the mirror and thought he was getting fat. No wonder, Essie didn't want a thing to do with him.

Why hadn't she called? He'd left her text. Even a sad voice mail that he couldn't for the life of him wonder if it were too sleezy or just hopeless.

But his Dad dropped him off at the mega grocery store. This was his first day. He'd gotten the job. Of course, it took him months to get up the courage to apply and here he was on the coldest day of the year waiting to find out what he'd actually be doing.

"Actually, I'm not a manager or an assistant manager, but since those guys have the flu...I'm suppose to show you around." The laid back lanky guy walked with them to show them the breakroom where their lockers were. He handed them over a card for the dining hall. "Now if you work on holidays, the meals are free." Other wise this card took out money from their paycheck if they ate in the dining hall. The meals were cheap and the soda pop was free.

Still Holden tensed as he looked over at the other guy who introduced himself as Gage.

"Look, I've had to do my share of crappy stuff here. Like chasing down grocery carts in the parking lot. That's where you two will start. We'll see if you, can cut it here." The guy shrugged. "Oh, and if you two need anything, I'm Hansen. I work mainly with the pizza dough machine or in the deli. I slice meat but I can butcher it too."

Holden sucked in a breath. Did he really want to have to bundle up and go bring in carts? He felt so tired. None of his meds seemed to be helping lately. He just didn't want to get behind the wheel of a car. He hadn't since the car crash with Sunny Wilson, over a year ago.

"I'd advise extra gloves." Hansen shrugged once more.

Gage only exposed a sly grin. He nudged Holden as they followed Hansen to the parking lot.

"I dunno about you, but I definitely need a smoke." Of course, he didn't mention what he was smoking.