uncontrollable urge

Leo finally got up the nerve to do this shoot all on his own with Garvin.  He'd decided not to ask of anything from Essie. As it was, she was hard to reach. Her family said she'd moved out. Naturally, he was pretty sure she was in New York City, already, trying to get a modeling gig.

Of course, it was just Garvin, and it felt a little weird, dressing up and posing for him.

"Try not to put on too much makeup." Garvin assured him that he should try to be as natural possible, like when he met him at the library.

Leo gritted a smile, easier said than done, he thought.

"Look, if this shoot turns out great, before you know it, you'll have your own make up person, to do this for you." Garvin went to fix the lights and made sure the backdrop was good enough for this winter's day.

Leo tried his best not be so nervous as "she" got himself together in a dark dress. A part of him felt like the biggest frog in the world. He was certain all Garvin would find in those pictures were his big eyes.

Still, he was mad at Henry. Furious in fact, and that is what got him in this mode in the first place.

He was going to do this. Possibly out of spite.

He fussed with the stockings, but he managed. Finally he got to the hair. No way was he going to pull this off, but after the hair went on, he found that he wasn't really looking at himself.

He couldn't help but smile. Yes, he could do this.

 When he stepped out of the makeshift dressing room, there was no Garvin. Suddenly, he felt lost in the empty space, but there was Henry by Garvin's cameras.

Henry knew he had a lot of explaining to do. He found out last minute where Leo was, at Garvin's studio, which wasn't much more than old white sheets draped about an empty room in Garvin's old store. It was really kind of ugly, but Leo was going to start his portfolio, evidently.

He was going to tell Leo the truth. He wasn't in love with Chandler. He'd discussed this all, at the epilepsy group.

The fact was he was having seizures. Everyday. It seemed. Sometimes, he could feel it coming, hours away. And some mornings, he couldn't take a shower without having one.

It was true, he wanted to not discuss his episodes. He'd rather make up something, than to let everyone know just how exhausted he was. How come his meds didn't work all the time? What was he doing wrong?

A part of him believed it best if Leo didn't have to be faced with his daily grind of feeling freaked out and wondering when the next moment would arise when he couldn't even be in control of his own body.

"What are you doing here?" Naturally, Leo didn't look so happy to see him. It was as if this was a private moment, even if Garvin would be shooting a gazillion photos of him.

"I guess..I just..wanted to wish you..." At that second he should have known it was coming. Like a sledgehammer. He wanted to blame it on his nerves. But honestly, Henry had no idea just where this was going.

His hands began to jerk, and he slammed his elbow into the camera stand. Off went the camera in tiny pieces, about the bare room.

Henry wanted to stop himself. He did, but he was bashing into things. The room wasn't nearly as empty as he imagined as he stomped around on this camera and that camera. Even taking a few sheets  tumbling down too, as well as lights. He just couldn't stop. And he wanted to stop. He truly wanted to stop, but he couldn't.