Wednesday, May 20, 2015

when the masquerade is over

When the masquerade is over



Graduation was practically here, and Henry was getting ready to go into the hospital. After all, Seniors were out a week ahead of the rest.

"I dunno why you had to wait until now." Josie was a bit perturbed with him, but she was in Henry's room, as he paced the floor.

"It's practically a one day thing. I'll go home." He said it was just day surgery. Still, she could see they might as well be doing brain surgery on him by the way he was reacting.

"OK." She  sighed wondering just what he was getting at.

"I need to tell you something." He bit his bottom lip, as if he needed to say it before it was too late.

The anticipation was killing her. Didn't he see she had patience for no one? Oh, how she wanted to shake him. But she stood there, hugging herself, ready to take it. Yes, he always had an elaborate explanation for everything.

"I was high when I went to prom with you." He said it so quickly that she could hardly hear his words.

She winced hard, guessing that explained everything.

But stuff had happened with them, since then. As in, kissing that generally turned into migrating to soft flat spaces which usually ended into something they both found a delight in. Thus lingered into a quietness they both were hushed about.

"What?" She was ready to shove him. As if this so called being together was a real scam. A sham..something to be ashamed of..all along. And she hadn't said anything. It progressed. Maybe it had made her smile, but she couldn't let it show now.

"It was wrong." He then said as if he wanted to be purely honest, and that other stuff was a dream of some kind. The two of them. Together. "I thought..I thought it would help."

"Oh really?" She did her best not to be in a pout, because whatever this was between them had been so clumsy and she'd thought just a laugh. Maybe something to get her through until the real thing came along.

Now it seemed like a powerful storm that didn't have sunshine in the forecast.

She sighed.

"But that was only the first time." He sighed. "And..and I'd done it..thinking..it might help me...you know..with the seizures."

She wanted to believe him, but which thing was he talking about? The drugs or sex?

"Are you high, right now?" She hated the fact that she couldn't tell. She thought back to a boyfriend, so long ago. She knew when Topher was high. He smelled of a sweet garden and his pupils were so strange.

She hugged herself harder.

Henry promised he wasn't.

"Why..why would I be now?" He looked at her hurt as if she had no compassion for anyone.

"OK." But she really meant FINE. As in letting this go. Maybe it would be best if she just let this fade. Like it never happen. He'd come back with. Oh, it was never NATURAL for me, you know. It might not be today he'd say it, but he would. She knew.

"You'll be fine tomorrow." She informed him.

"What if I'm not?" He looked at her as if it didn't matter, as long as she trusted him. And she wasn't sure she could.

When his fingers slipped into hers, she didn't like what she'd tangled herself in.

She had to remember she was leaving in a few days, and it was time to not look back on this. It was time to let go. It was time to move forward. No way could she let him sink her into something that was only wasting both of their time.

2 comments:

Launna said...

Henry is not good at explaining himself... I think he likes Josie more than he wants to...

cat eyes & skinny jeans said...

Maybe Henry has turned over a new leaf - Josie and him would be kind of perfect together.

xx