Monday, January 21, 2019

how it is


"You know, I wouldn't want to change you." Gordy words were soft. Tiffany knew she was the hard one who couldn't be satisfied. At least, she was back home. She watched him with the love his life, as he bottle fed Beth.

Tiffany hated being in limbo. Why couldn't she snap out of it? Why did she have to make things so difficult?

She got up and took the baby from him. Naturally, the soon to be toddler wailed as if she only wanted her Daddy. As uncomfortable as it was, she pushed on, hoping the baby hadn't completely forgotten her. After all, she was at the daycare when he was at work.

Honestly, Tiffany felt so guilty. While her sister and her family were moving on. Her husband found a good job at a police department out in Kearney. They'd resettled on their own with a new house. Tiffany couldn't think of moving away from her mother. It left her a little more lost these days, not to have her sister Brit around.

Even now, she felt weak as she watched her dark-eyed daughter in her arms. Tiffany had nothing to say.

She did love Gordy. They'd always found a way back to each other. Some things were more easy to do than others. Like the physical part of their marriage.

She just couldn't be a very good friend while he could make circles around her, daily cleaning, making dinner, bringing her herbal tea to help her sleep.

How long could something like this go on? Just how brave was he to be with someone who didn't like herself?

"We should go through the things she's outgrown," Gordy said from the laundry room who was putting another wash on. "Do you know of anyone who's having a baby?"

Finally, Tiffany woke up to her doubts.

"We are," she thought she heard herself say.  He looked at her with an open smile, but she knew most would think it was the immaculate conception.

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