to be with you

Was it really her? Shiloh thought he was seeing things when he found her at the coffee shop.

Of course, she would only drink tea. Even then, she didn't want milk nor honey. Not even lemon.

He didn't know what to expect. Especially, when he saw the baby, too chubby for her own good. Janine looked pale and drained. Shiloh felt uneasy. Unsure, where to begin. He felt they were in the middle of something and he wasn't sure if he needed an anchor of some kind, just to float on in this abyss.

"So..." He wanted to say something but winced tears instead. "Have..have you been well?" His voice cracked as if it was all wrong to say. Of course, she hadn't been well. She'd had a baby. It was a weird feeling to grasp. The girl he'd known and shared songs with was now a mother.

She only nodded as if it would be against the law to speak. She looked as if she were on borrowed time. Her hair was no longer neat. She looked to be a scavenger of some kind, practically chained to the child.

"Don't- don't you have anything to say?" He was hurt. Thinking he owed her something, and yet he felt she was the one who wasn't forthcoming.

"I-I'm not sure." She said she was married. She said she was happy. Although, it was a lie. He could tell. Still, she let the baby fall into his lap. It was then he knew the real answer, there in the shape of the toddler's face. Her eyes were his.

Shiloh felt as if he could hardly breathe.

"Why? Why would you do it?" He looked at Janine then.

She looked frightened as if he was expecting her to have an abortion or something.

"Why? Why couldn't you tell me?" He felt the bitter phlegm in his throat. He nursed his bottom lip, wondering how to fix this. His heart ached. It wasn't fair. It definitely wasn't right.

"I didn't want-" Her eyes were full of tears. "You have to finish school. You have to go to college."

Shiloh sighed as he pressed his lips tight. None of that mattered now. Especially, since he knew where he belonged.