Wish I had someone else to blame

 

"I just wish I belonged, you know." 

Darry heard Nico's words, but he wasn't really listening while he was putting books away. 

"What?" Darry looked back at him and winced. He thought Nico came by to relax with a book in the back of the library, but evidently, he was here for a reason. They were sort of new friends. Well, they were going to be, and then things got a little heavy with Jude, but at least she'd gone back to studying, and they only texted a bit at night. 

"How would you know?" He fretted. "You're so..I dunno," He sighed heavily. "Something, I'm not. You've got friends. Everybody loves you. People who know me hate me in the end."

"Quit being a drama king," Darry gave him a dead stare. "Just remember, you've got a place to stay, you're able to work. Things will get better." Darry tidied up the shelf of nonfiction books and moved on with his cart, leaving Nico behind.

"Do you ever call home?" Darry wanted to know, looking back at Nico.

"For what? They won't answer. They don't have the funds. They don't need me around anymore." It sounded like the story of Nico's life.

"I'm sorry, man, OK." 

It was the best Darry could do. Maybe, Nico was right. He was so alone. "What do you even like?"

"I don't know." He shrugged, being Mr. Invisible in sweat pants and hoodie.

"Don't you, um, play games, build things?" Darry didn't know what Nico wanted to hear.

"I used to mess around with cars," Nico shrugged.

"Good." Darry nodded. He didn't know any mechanics, but there was that neighbor who ran a mechanic place. "Maybe you need to meet Joe, he's a friend of my Dad's. Maybe you could, you know, do some part-time work there."

"God, anything to get away from the Coffee Shop." Nico looked troubled as if he could be trouble.

Nothingness won't change it

 "So what are you going to do?" Eli looked at his best friend out of concern. He thought Darry was hanging out with Junnie's doppleganger way too much lately. "Will you get back together with Junie?"

"You know, we broke up." By that look, it seemed to Eli that Darry was afraid to even talk to Junie. Little alone, make amends. "She just needs time, and well, she's home now, and I'm sure she just needs to adjust."

Eli thought Darry made it seem Junie was getting out of rehab. Just what had this Connor guy done to her?

"Well, I am trying to get Amy to come around, and you know, talk to her, but I still feel Amy would say all the wrong things," Eli shrugged about the matter as they walked down the crowded hallway of the school on their way home. 

"Probably," Darry agreed. They just needed to give Junie space.

"But..but it's just I don't want her to forget about us, you know." Eli looked at him blankly. Maybe he was at fault, but he didn't like change. He liked that they were all friends at one time. At least, Eli didn't have to rely on Darry for a ride anymore. He finally got his driver's license and his dad's old Civic. Of course, he had to admit, it felt like traveling around in a rocket. He knew he could zoom around in the thing, but he was being careful. He had to stay on his Dad's good side.

"Look, there is a lot she can't remember yet. Don't even think about seeing her." Darry's words sounded like a dare to Eli. 

He soon let it go, but actually not. He knew Amy was off running with her her afterschool club. He stopped by Dollar Tree for some cheap snacks. But not that cheap. The store was selling stuff a lot more than a dollar and a quarter these days. 

Anyway, he took his time, and picked up some stationary and girly notebooks along with cheap reads. He thought of Junie and always talking about horror films, movies Amy would never want to see, but Eli enjoyed them.

So he finally, got him self a Mountain Dew to nurse on and took the basket of goodies to Junie's house.

Of course, she was alone which made Eli furious. How could her parents do something  like that. It was too soon he thought for her to be on her own, but then again, Eli didn't think he'd ever met her mother.

"Hi, It's me Eli?" He told her he remembered her from school. She let him in. Of course, he suddenly imagined her letting anyone in.

"I know who you are."

"Oh." Eli nodded. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." She looked quite sad.

"Maybe, its just a bad case of spring fever?" Eli did his best to perk her up with an impish grin.

"Yeah, let's say that's what it is." She looked through the gift basket and thanked him. "I know I should start writing again. I haven't really tired, you know."

She mentioned they'd done a few exercises with her in the hospital, but it was minimal. Eli nodded.

"Amy-" he felt he needed to say her name. Although, he didn't know what to say about her. Not once had she really said anything good about Junie's situation, other than it being her fault. He didn't want to speak badly of her.

"She's just being Amy, isn't she?" She looked at him out of the corner if her eye, as if she knew.

Eli nodded.

"Have you met anybody new?" Eli felt the need to change the subject. It wasn't that he was stuck with Amy, but they both knew how she could be.

"Yeah," Junie nodded. "But he's kind of a mystery."

"A mystery?" Eli wanted to know more.

"Yeah, he's the one who saved me." 

Junie smile as if there was a certain bond. "I keep wanting him to be Connor, but I know he isn't. I just can't seem to remember his name."

It was quiet then. 

"I'm..I'm sorry about Connor," Eli said.

She looked at him, surprised. "Do you know something?"

"No. No I don't even know what he looks like. But I just hope he didn't take anything away from you. You are sweet. You've always been so good to all of your friends. I just want you to be good to yourself, too."

Eli couldn't help but tear up. It was like a new chapter in her life had started, and he hadn't really known her like he'd wanted to.

Asking questions with her little frown

 "You gotta stay out of this," Boone wondered how many more times he was going to have this conversation with Maddie over Junie and her real Dad. "There will be a time, but it's not right now."

Junie was still not receptive to the family. She acted as if they were strangers. "Bringing in her real Dad won't help. She just needs time."

Maddie's frown was small, but it was there. He'd never had a riff like this with her. How could something like this drive them apart?

"I thought of all people, you would understand." Her words were bitter as if she was in no mood to wash dishes, so he took over.

"I do understand," he said, looking at her blankly. "We just don't want to make things worse."

He cleaned the kitchen while she plopped herself at the dining table in thought. "I don't know how to make it better."

"What? This with Junie or yourself?" He brought her big thermos cup of water to sip on. He could see she was forgetting to keep hydrated these days. They'd both decided to drink more water instead of caffeine. They both drank coffee and even tea, which kept them up at night when they should have been sleeping.

"I guess me," she shrugged. "I don't know what happened. When did Junie change? Why couldn't I have..you know, been the one to notice?"

"Well, don't let her change you. You are being a big sister. I know you are worried. You've worried over her more than she'll ever know." He told her.

"What are you trying to say?" She looked at him as if she were the one with the problem.

"Oh, Maddie," Boone smiled as he clasped her hand on the table. "I love you. I want you to know, you are a good person. You're great. You use your ingenuity. You're positive, and well, you always make my day better. Don't fuss over something you can't change."

Yeah, he was certain he'd said the wrong thing, but she smiled back as if he were the only cheerleader she would ever need.

Nico & Amy Interview

 

So what's it like working at a Coffee Shop?

NICO: It's all I got, man. (Nico shrugs, even lip-locked) I mean, I got a place to live, and I'm learning new skills, but it's crazy, man. (He shakes his head, and lets a smile slip) It's just (he's thinking with a sigh) I feel like the odd man out. (He looks away as if he can't explain it).

AMY: This is my first real job. (Her voice is a bit whiny as she hugs herself, practically scowling) I didn't really want to do it, but (She looks up to the ceiling, then to the camera with a dead serious stare) Everybody was making me feel bad that I wasn't, you know (she nods) help out while Junie was gone. (She reaches to rest the palm of her hand on her cheek while her elbow is a bit wobbly on her nervous knee, and she swings with her legs crossed.) I didn't really want to do it. (She sits up then as if she needs to clear the air.) I was pressured.

NICO: Oh, really, (Nico turns to look at her) weren't you happy getting all those tips on your first day?

AMY: Well, it was probably pity (She looks back at him as if he wouldn't really know). It's not happening as much these days. (she shrugs)

NICO: Yeah, you're not as nice as you were when you first started (he stares at her as if she's been taking a lot out on him). Look, I'm the head dishwasher, I clean tables, and I have to be the second guy on the grill, too. You won't even clean tables.

AMY: Nobody said I had to (She looks away as if it's not her job).

NICO: Look, I like it here, but..but when I have to work with people like her who won't do anything. (He gives her the eye).

AMY: It's my first job! (She yelps back at him.)

NICO: Thank God, she's only here on the weekends. (Nico smirks)