The feeling amplified

 

There was a sense that he was there, but it wasn't Connor.

She knew he had abandoned her. Junie knew. But still, she was in such a fog. Or was life just a dream?

A part of her didn't want to go back, but there were unanswered questions. She just wasn't sure she could find them. Not now. Not after she'd been a fool. Was that all she was to her family? To Darry? All because of Connor. 

Still, a heat of passion smoldered. She wanted to know, but she didn't want to have her doubts either.

But someone was here. Someone she knew who was close to her, who was anything but Connor. She didn't know who he was, but it didn't matter. It didn't really matter after all. 

Memories came and went. She'd never really been a priority. And she lived with it because all she'd ever known was to be a latchkey kid with a television for a babysitter. And the Internet. But her family was never big on phone plans, so she hadn't really been addicted to social media like today's kids. Never had a Facebook account. She'd yearned for Instagram, but that hadn't been as great as she'd anticipated. 

And then she'd met a stranger at the coffee shop. Crazy kid, who did things like that? Certainly, not her generation. Yeah, there was Amy who knew all. Damn, if she didn't forget that old friend in all that had happened. She hadn't even come to the hospital to see her. She would know her voice anywhere.

Junie wasn't sure she wanted to come back. What was there for her? She knew. She knew everything, at least, momentarily. Then Poof.

Like a clean slate, perhaps.

"Con..Connor?" She sputtered, tangled in a web of lifelines that kept her heart in rhythm.

The face looked ashamed as if he could not bear to tell her the truth. Yet, he was her last hope.

"Connor!" She took a good look at his big eyes, big nose, a rat's nest of curls. Still, he looked quite sad.

Funny, how the only words to curse from her lips were "Connor." 

I just know I can be better

 Keegan knew he wasn't wanted around here, or was he? At first, that guy Darry, who was evidently important to Junie, questioned him. And that twin of Junie's. Was she a sister, perhaps?

Keegan didn't ask. He knew it might not have been the best idea to show up at the hospital, but he felt the need to know. Was Junie ever going to be all right? 

When he first showed up, they all went out for coffee since it was painstaking, waiting for someone to wake up. And Darry was nice enough. 

"Are you two dating?" Keegan got up the nerve to ask while they had gone from one waiting room to another just to find a vending machine with coffee and snacks. At least it was cozy at the hospital, but Keegan wasn't one to go to the hospital, until now. 

They both cracked up as if Keegan were such a funny guy. Of course, they didn't tell him anything. He should have expected it. And the days got warm, Keegan made his way back. Darry and that girl were still there.

Finally, it felt like a touch of spring in the air, and when Keegan went to ask about Junie at the nursing station, Darry and company were not there. It felt a bit unusual, but then another day or two went by, and no Darry. Keegan was beginning to wonder if he was the only one. Did anybody else care about Junie?

Once, he did get to meet her brother KC, who thanked him for finding Junie. KC was with Junie's mother, who looked so small and unfortunate. Keegan found himself crying with her as if maybe it was just a contagious bug going around. Later, he thought he might really be sick with a bad cought so he missed about a week of visits. 

And then he woke up to snow one morning, out in the country farmhouse. It was like a sign. He got ready, dug his little car out of the snow, and warmed it up for the drive into town. Junie just had to be awake.

But she wasn't. This made Keegan bitter. Wasn't God listening? Did he need to go back to his OCD? Walk around the house at least five times before he could go to bed to make sure the place was locked up and thoughts of Junie on the mend. Maybe he could go up and down the flight of stairs continuously at the hospital, hoping this would somehow wake Junie. Anything was possible. But Keegan always felt he was never trying hard enough in life to will anything.

Finally, after his long legs couldn't take any more and he almost passed out in the waiting room before he could find enough change for a cup of coffee in the vending machine, a nurse came.

"Are you Junie's family?"

Keegan looked at her bug-eyed with a nod. The nurse said she was awake. He followed her down the hall. He was practically in a sweat, even if he looked out the gigantic window, exposing the outside world of snowy roads and dark grit. He found himself shivering, and when he saw Junie, she didn't look awake.

The nurse left them alone. All Keegan could do was bite his bottom lip. He knew he shouldn't get too close, but he stared at her as if he was waiting for her move in this odd game. He scratched the back of his head, thinking he could sit awhile and just sleep. Maybe that's all she needed. Someone, in the room with her.

"Hey..I mean hi." His voice carried. Keegan didn't like the sound of it. It must have been a false alarm, but her hand reached out and touched his fingers on the metal guard rail of the bed.

She mumbled something. It sounded like it might be his name.

"Yes?"

She grabbed his fingers. Then his hand. She wasn't letting go. It startled Keegan. Suddenly, he felt like he might be a hostage.

There would be days like this

 "I could have something wrong with me, and I'd never know it," Rafe admitted when Boone offered him a free coffee and muffin when he finally got a chance to stop by the bakery. Granted, Rafe felt a little dazed and confused these days, keeping up with the little one after the midnight hour. "When was Valentine's Day?"

Rafe squinted and looked at the last of the Valentine's cookies and Madi Gra cake. He didn't know what holiday that was.

Boone smiled back, "Aren't you getting the hang of fatherhood yet?"

Rafe yawned back. "Just when I think somebody will sleep through the night, well..you know...there are just not enough hours in the day." When he thought about it, maybe there weren't enough days in the week.

"Yeah, we couldn't really plan on anything for Valentine's Day, either," Boone told him. Saturday was great for business, and Maddie worked at the library that weekend. But we got around to it, eventually."

Rafe nodded and took a sip of his black coffee. These days, he had no time for sugar or cream, and he was getting used to it.

They talked a bit about Maddie's cousin, Junie, who was still in the hospital. Rafe knew he could be a lot worse off. At least, he was happy to be a new Dad, but so much stress came with it. And sometimes, he thought he was the only one taking care of the baby. Yet, he had a feeling it wouldn't be enough. He was in it, to notice all the little things to make the day better. 

Still, his limbs were so tired from holding someone, but he wouldn't want it any other way.

The Valentines Day Special

 "Why is it I work every holiday, huh?" CW grumbled from the kitchen.

"Stop that, before you show everyone your true colors," Crystal scolded. "You know, Millie needed a break. And well, we're having a fundraiser for Junie." 

"As if I didn't know?" He had another order of Heavenly Pancakes ready to go. "Can't you see? This is the first time I've ever had a girlfriend, and I'm stuck here?"

"With me!" She gave him a grin as if she had something in mind for Valentine's Day. That is, if he didn't ruin it. "Have a little faith, huh?"

Of course, she felt guilty for being so happy while someone was sleeping through Valentine's Day. She did make him sad. He felt bad for not doing something about Connor. If Junie had never left with him. If only Junie were still with Darry. CW winced. Did he have to keep thinking about it? 

Nico went to serve a customer who was celebrating the Valentine's Day special. Half the money from the meal would go to Junie's family. People were waiting for tables, and only the three of them were handling the day. 

CW hurried on, frying up sausages and bacon while flipping pancakes. It felt never-ending. Slowly, he was learning the glory of patience, or so he told himself.

Gavin just about had a heart attack when he saw Kat that night. She wasn't wearing her red overalls like she promised. Seymore stayed home, waiting for her on her bed.

"But..but you said you weren't going to dress up?" He looked at her wide-eyed, even if he'd brought her a wrist corsage that his mother had picked up at the grocery store. He took deep breaths and coughed hard.

"My grandmother gets around," Kat shrugged as if she might be her fairy godmother after all. "She thrifts a lot, and just hangs it in the closet. There was, and she said I had to dress nice."

"Oh."

Luckily, they managed through dinner with all his friends at the long table before the big event, eating eggrolls and fried rice. "See, people like us aren't invited to prom, so yeah, it's a big deal, evidently." He made it sound like he needed to show up with someone.

Kat nodded and sat next to him. She chatted with the girl next to her. They'd known each other since middle school. Gavin looked around, thinking it really was a small world, and he had so many friends he didn't quite know. He could hardly introduce her around. Actually, he didn't want to. He wanted to keep her a mystery.

Later at the dance, he showed her all his dance floor moves in about ten seconds. And she laughed, but mimicked him, swaying her arms in small moves as if they might be shaking salt shakers. They were both perfectly clumsy, and when it came to a slow dance, he stood still holding her. 

"What do you really like to do?" She said he already knew what she liked to do at the Youth Center: read comic books and play foosball. It was the end of the night, and he walked slowly to the front door with her. Actually, they were even too tired to hold hands.

"Well," he didn't want to put her off. "Bowling."

"Bowling?" Her eyes brightened, and she smiled. "I can't remember the last time I went bowling." She said she missed it. He hugged her as if she needed to know that he liked being with her, and hoped she knew he never wanted to hurt her.