going in circles

Asa might as well have slept through Christmas. The days before, Rosie was over, and she cheered him up with her stories and dancing, but for the most part Max and Daisy took her on their own to amuse her and keep the place clean.

It was really quiet and he didn't like being alone. Of course, there was plenty in his family who did their best to stay with him. Only he could take so much of Will and Jacob, spouting off bible verses and advising him on what he should and shouldn't do and where he should go.

Even that left him with a sick feeling, and he promised he'd be back at work after Christmas. There were other co-workers with planned vacations, and it was best to keep busy. But he felt so numb. He hated to admit that he didn't know what was going on. Just this thought of finding Amanda in the kitchen still honed in on his thoughts.

When would it ever go away?

He wanted to think of her whole. Think of her warm smile. How she could never find her bra. Silly as that was, it made him laugh at the thought of how they could tear up a whole bedroom just to find out that Rosie took it to sleep with, or it was under the bed under dust bunnies. The troubles with bras. She had so many, but only one favorite. It was simple and not scratchy in baby pink. He'd bought two new ones that was still in a package under the Christmas tree. What were they to do with all her presents?

A surge of tears came to his hot face as he sat there in his dark bedroom, thinking of all the things he didn't want to forget about Amanda. And for a second, he thought he felt her arms around him. Just then the doorbell rang. He awoke to the reality as he did his best to rub the tears away from the plams of his hands. He went to the door.

"Thank God, you're here." It was Olivia. She was alone.

Asa looked at her and scratched the back of his head as he let her in.

"I need you..."

"OK."  Asa sniffed tears back.

"You ..you can marry people, can't you?" She looked up at him as if she was in dire need.

"Well..." Asa squinted. It was true. He could. But it felt so long ago. Not that he was actually a real minister. Although, he could have been. He was just in a long line, waiting for such an opportunity. This meant a lot of missionary work. "I've officiated some weddings." They just weren't in this country.

"So, you'd know what to do?" She was serious. It all had to do with a family squabble, she told him. Her adoptive parents were upset to begin with that Olivia was going to be married at her real Dad's house.

Asa went to put on the kettle as he listened to all the reasons why her adoptive parents didn't believe in her marriage to Ravi. Then she told him how easy it was for Penelope and Elliot to marry on their little weekend trip to Niagara Falls.

Of course, Asa stopped suddenly in the middle of the kitchen. Cold spot. He shivered as if he might be sick.

"It won't be a problem." He got out the tea bags for the cups. He waited for the kettle to sing. He'd need to know just how Olivia wanted this ceremony. He would listen and do what he could.