threes a crowd

Ruthie really wasn't sure what to do with herself. The house was quiet now. Her parents took the kids home with them. It had been a rather quiet funeral. Just Matt's family and some from church.

It wasn't like she expected much. Sure, she heard all the things she was suppose to hear. Still, she knew what people must have thought of him now. Or was it her?

Rachel was staying with her. Sam cleared the driveway when it snowed. He'd kept her car gassed and running. Her parents were finally accepting the fact that Rachel found a good one, even if he didn't go to their church.

She thought then, how could she go back? She couldn't face any of them. She was just an all around failure in their books. But she'd grown up with the church, and they were very big chunk of her life. When she thought of that part, there was Matt to think about too.

How did this happen? It always came back to that. A chill gave her shiver as she rubbed her arms. Ruthie thought of her new born baby, Boaz. She smiled thinking how Matt thought it was the most hideous name he'd ever heard of. But she'd found the name in the book of Ruth and it meant 'strength'. "Fine, as long as we can call him Bo."

She wanted to dwell on the good times, not the bad. Had their been that many? She curled up on the coach and wrapped herself up in a granny square afghan. She was so cold. She felt so cold. Some how she thought of Matt in the cold ground, blue as ice. Her teeth started to chatter. She wanted to be close to him once again, but not in this way.

The doorbell rang. She needed tissues as she  pushed the hot tears away. Rachel went to get the door. It was Asa and his cousins.

Ruthie looked at them as if they were strangers. She didn't know what to say to Asa. Of course, he asked how she was doing. She told him fine. Everything was taken care of. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

Of course, the cousins told her and her family they were in their prayers. She listened. It sounded like an info commercial now. Were they really here for comfort? She supposed, but what were they expecting?

"Are..are you OK?" She then asked Asa. Poor Asa, this must have been so hard on him. Thinking, there was no way to undo any of it. It was best not to blame anyone, because she was certain if their was any blame..it was her own.

"Well..you know.." He didn't finish the sentence. Instead, he got out his wallet. "I-I thought this might help out, with Christmas." He gave her the gift card. Told her it had well over five hundred dollars on it.

"I can't take this." She shook her head, no.

"Think of it, for the kids. Pampers aren't cheap." Asa reminded it.

She held the gift card in her hand. Ruthie bit her upper lip as she looked at it. Finally, she nodded.

"Here's my card." Jacob handed her a card with his cell phone number and e-mail. "You need anything. Let me know."

Ruthie looked at him startled. She cleared her throat. Honestly, she couldn't think why she'd ever contact him.