not knowing how to feel

Gilly didn't want to put much thought into it, but Jonah was all right. He didn't inspect the house like Gilly figured he would. Really, they'd had fun.

Gilly didn't think so right away. But this fellow really liked Guitar Hero. No one liked to play this video game, anymore. Well, most were grown up now ,with grown up jobs, and it wasn't as fun, to play alone. But they got down to serious business. Jonah wasn't exactly good, but he got better. Honestly, it was nice to help him out. He didn't really want to beat him at the game.

It wasn't like Gilly kept him in, the whole time. They'd gone out for food and down to the pub. Walked around to some of Jules'  old haunts. After awhile, Jonah didn't ask much about Jules. Gilly, didn't want this being a weekend totally about Jules. What would Jules care? He doubted Jules even thought of him, anymore.

That was Gilly's life in general. He wasn't worth mentioning. At least, Jonah took his mind off how lousy everything really was. Yes, he could be busing tables. He'd gotten on down at the old folks home to help out in the dining area, but he didn't like it. He felt he were sentenced to something dreadful. He guessed he'd never be a saint.  Really, it was quite pitiful what he had to look forward too.

Then the kiss came, which was totally awkward and bumping noses, more than anything else. Honestly, he was not good at this kind of thing. He wished for it, day in and day out, but when it came to a moment, well..forget it. He thought now.

There was that time when Collette was all drunk and thinking he was someone else on New Years. She was suppose to be with that lad in the Army. After all, she was taking his wages, or so she sounded proud of the fact. She was still talking about Jules as if he never left. Of course, they both knew why he left. Yet there was no talk about the baby. Gilly was determined not to ask.

As it was.. she was floundering fast, but he got her home. She'd done her best to reel him in. He guessed. Although, she was the one pawing him. It wasn't sexy in the least. That's when he heard the baby crying in the crib, and he'd gone to see about him. All this time, the baby was home alone. Her mother was off to see some friends on a quilting trip.

Perhaps that night he'd done the best thing or on some days the worst thing in his life, Gilly thought now. He took the baby home with him and called social services on Collette.

Tristan James was now in foster care. She visited the baby on weekends. Gilly supposed. Of course, she wasn't talking to him. Which Gilly was all right with. So the unexpected kiss from Jonah was a surprise, but much nicer than his New Year's tryst with Collette (if he could call it that).

But little Tristan was on his mind. He wished Tristan was with a nice family, but he was staying in more or less an orphange. He'd have to go see him, again. It was all right that he did. He'd done so, when he could. If only he had a chance of making things better for Tris. He would. Maybe then, he could raise Tristan on his own. He knew that could never happen. How could he, alone be responsible for him? Yet apart of him felt he'd gotten Tristan into this situation.

It was just, getting his license to repair computers, hadn't been easy. Of course, the school gave his mother a fine talk how Gilly would go to tech school and find a job in the city. But it would still cost money and he wasn't the best test taker. If only he'd past the test the first time around, no telling what he might find to do now.

Now Jonah was wanting him to come visit him.

"Dunno." And he didn't. He'd never went anywhere in his life. Never out of the village. "I have no sense of direction." Gilly told him.

"Well, then, that makes two of us." He assured him. Jonah promised he'd help him find his way. First off, he sent Gilly a ticket for the trip.