still standing

Camille swallowed herself in work, lately. Otherwise, she might want to hide in bed with the light off.

She really wished Joe would call.

She guessed she thought they had something going. But then it was the holidays and she was sad and he might have drank a little too much. It was just, she hated to be alone on New Year's eve. But she was alone now. Very alone.

Her mind could run a mile a minute if she let it. All these thoughts of what was he thinking now. Did he think she was fat, or just flabby? She knew it wasn't a romance. Couldn't she grow up?

But this was all bringing her down in spite of trying to act her perky self on the job, on the air. Laughing. Smiling and everything her boss Ken had to say. She wished she could win an award for something like this. Instead, she got the run of the mill. "You stay here, I have to be away from the station for a bit. I need you to sign for a package."

Camille tried to be silly with.."Oh, is it for me?" But Ken soon stomped that out. Her humor was only needed on the air, not with him.

So there she was stewing about the aftermath of the holidays, Camille knew she was definitely on the outs with Josie, even if she wouldn't talk about it. They never talked. She didn't know how to fix this. What could she say, "I'll probably never see Joe, again." She had to get used to the idea and making an effort she'd do better. She would act her age. She guessed.

Camille got on with things. Secretarial duties. Answering the phone. Taking messages. Handling advertizing. But she felt scattered, maybe even shattered.

When the UPS man arrived, Camille was glad to see someone in the flesh.

"Duncan." She smiled as if they were old friends. Not really, but she saw him a lot because Ken obviously ordered a lot of stuff. "How have you been? Did you have a good New Years?"

He wasn't his usual happy self. He sniffed like he might have a bad cold, too.

"Not really." He remained indifferent as she sighed the tablet. He looked really good, she thought. She imagined him being the poster guy for UPS. She knew if he could be on the UPS calender he should be June. Maybe even December. He did have impressive legs.. in shorts.

"What happened?" She wanted to know. The last she'd heard, he sounded so optimistic about starting a family.

He shook his head as if he couldn't talk about it.

"I'm so sorry." Camille wanted to give him a pat on the back, but that would be out of line. "Maybe February will be better." Camille smiled, trying to look on the bright side.

"Not if I can't find a place." He looked at her then as if he might talk.

"Can't find a place? Seriously?" She was concerned, thinking of him out on the street with a sign saying WILL WORK FOR LOVE. Now she even made herself almost laugh, but she held it in.

Suddenly a string of sirens were going outside, followed by extreme honking. She looked out the window of the office and saw the gridlock on the street next to the freeway.

"How about a cup of tea?" She offered since there was no way to be a hurry out of here at the moment. "You can tell me what happened."

She got out the oatmeal and raisin cookies she brought and poured him some hot water over a tea bag. She knew she had him, as soon as he took a cookie.

"Its complicated." He finally managed to say.

"Isn't it always." She thought of herself and Joe. She needed to let that go. What did they even have in common? OK, they had a grandson together.

"Is there anyway? You, can get back with with this girlfriend of yours?" Camille knew they were so close to getting married, or at least Duncan thought so.

"There's someone else. He's such an ass." Duncan sighed as if he was really glad she was listening to him. "Now I have to move. It really sucks."

"Well..." Camille even wondered what she'd say next. Sometimes, she just went with it. "You could stay with me." She shrugged with a smile. "I have plenty of room. You could rent a room." She didn't want him thinking this was ...casual or something. She wrote down her address.

"Really?" He blinked at her as if she couldn't be real.

"Well, take a look first, you know, see if its OK." She told him.

"I'm sure its OK." He couldn't help but smile.

Camille loved that she could make him smile. It was a good feeling that she seldom experienced, lately.