gone gone

Sunny paced the livingroom floor. She felt as if an emotional train had hit her right in the heart. Of course, it was all Derrick's doing.

This can't be happening, she kept holding the words under her breath as she squinted tears. Why did he have say so many things to hurt her so? Why was he on Zac's side?

Deep down, she did have a plan. She really did. She couldn't wait to get out of this little railroad town. Bigger and better things were waiting for her in the city. She needed to get to Broadway. She'd been thinking about this since sixth grade. She was after all a student of the finer things in life. And if people hated her for it, so be it.

Zac meant nothing to her. He truly didn't. She was definitely the strong one. What boy had to be so emotional? Besides Derrick.

She winced in worry wondering just what Derrick would do to her reputation. He was so loud and spastic about making her feel horrible about herself. And those last words, hurt the worst. "You're so dead to me."

She pouted a frown as she lost her composure of being so sure of herself. She'd called Holden as soon as it happened. He seemed to be more true to her than anyone, and he was practically a stranger.

He'd been happy to take her to the Valentines Dance. He dressed nice enough. And was pleasant enough. Definitely, not anything like Derrick who kept her waiting. Constantly. He was suppose to be her boyfriend. What the hell?

She washed her face. Trying not to think about how Derrick over-reacted. She was in her down time clothes. Her plush pink hoodie with the soft pink pants to match. Still she wasn't sure if she wanted Holden to see her this way. She had a face to put on. But maybe he needed to see the real her. Not the one with fake lashes and shiny lipstick in the huge stiletto pumps. She was in her sneakers now and she and Holden were practically the same height.

He wasn't all that tall. Neither was Derrick. Why did he have to look so much like Derrick? She liked this and hated this about Holden. But he was definitely not like Derrick.

He looked confused though.

"Are you, OK?" He looked concerned, but he was just in a flannel shirt with a simple green Tee underneath and old jeans and old work boots. Definitely, not her uptown beau she dreamed about.

She nodded.

"Can we go somewhere?" It occurred to her if they stayed here, she might do more than kiss him. It was best if he didn't really get to know that side of her. She wanted this to work. She honestly needed someone to confide in. He really didn't know anyone here.

"Yeah, sure, what ever you want." He sighed with an open smile. "Its getting kind of foggy out there, though."

She wasn't really listening to him. Instead.... all she could think of was Alfonso. Why would she think of him now?

 She was only thirteen when he died. He lived next door to her when they lived for a while in Omaha. Evidently, on the wrong side of town. He'd been playing a video game in his livingroom when a random shot came from the bay window, hitting him in the back of the head.

Sunny's almost blinked tears. She'd loved him. He was everything to be found in a nice young man. He went to church. He lived with his grandmother. He taught Sunny everything she ever knew about basketball. There was no one ever in her world quite like Alfonso. And now it troubled her what he'd think of her.

Was she out of control?

"Where did you say, you, wanted to go?" Holden asked once they were in his car.

"Anywhere?" She told him. "Anywhere but here."

"But..but really, I don't know that many places. I mean. This isn't Ohio." He shrugged as he pulled out of the driveway. "I'm not sure the best way to get to the Old Market."

"Sure, lets go there." She wasn't listening. She was trying to remember Alfonso's face. His sad puppy eyes.

"All right." Holden was man enough for the job. She guessed. She didn't care. He made his way carefully toward the freeway, but he missed the exit because of the massive fog, like a mysterious snake of steam enveloping everything outside ..everywhere.

Holden was driving so slow. Everything was so slow. Yet Alfonso remained on Sunny's mind. And she felt so sleepy when she'd look into the fog. It was as if it could swallow her whole. Honestly, it was so quiet. She reached to put a CD into the player. All Holden had was some Charlie Parker.. A painful screech approached and then there was silence.