I'll cry if I want to

Henry felt a little frustrated with Shan. Actually, he was totally frustrated, but he was trying his best not to be pissed with him.

He looked over at Josie and Ian. She was practically in his lap on the couch. Now that was togetherness, he thought. Why couldn't it be that way with Shan? It was as if Shan went out of his way to do things his way or else. And it was getting to Henry.

Usually, Henry contended with it, because being in a relationship meant compromise. But suddenly, he felt he was doing all the compromising. It was as if, Shan didn't like the way he did things. He didn't like for Henry to have fun, or this was the fact that was surfacing in Henry's head at the moment.

Here he was, all alone at this party.

He looked around at the various fun. There were people with Jello shots. Naturally, Ian and Josie looked as if they were trapped on the couch. Henry got himself a drink. He needed something to take the edge off while he waited for Shan to get his ass in here. He even shocked himself thinking that way. Feeling a bit in a fuss over Shan. He wanted to give him a piece of his mind as he swallowed the cool drink, which burned all the way down.

He wasn't sure if he'd ever talk again after that drink. It even made his eyes burn.

The door finally opened. Finally, he thought. But it wasn't Shan. Some dude who looked really happy to see him. Henry was possibly smiling because he'd handle the Jello shot, or the fact that he could make someone smile that way that wasn't a twelve year old girl in braces.

No, this guy could actually shave.

Before he knew it, this guy was handing him another drink. Henry took it, thinking he really shouldn't. He hoped no one asked him to move because he wasn't sure he could. As it was.. they stood so close. Henry staring at the drink.

His name was Al. He wanted to know Henry's name. Was a guy like Henry in a band?

Henry laughed. Almost dropped the drink, but Al kept him steady.

What a hilarious question. Before he knew it, he'd down that Jello shot and had another. And the smiling continued. He did look for Shan. Where in the hell was he?

Music was thumping from another room. Henry didn't think Shan slipped by. But what if he was where the music was playing? A few more people poured in toward the drinks. Henry thought he'd move, but he swayed and someone politely caught him. Still smiling.

Henry blinked, he was already feeling kind of dizzy, but not bad. He was OK.

"I don't think you're OK." Al held his hand now, and Henry just stared at his hand in his. It was a little funny. He couldn't help but giggle, but then he didn't want this guy to think he was such a novice.

"I'm..I'm really OK." Henry nodded. He looked to the couch. There was no Josie and Ian. How long had he really been standing here? Well, he was pretty close to Al, who now had his arm around him. Henry was leaning on him more than he thought. But Al didn't seem to mind.

Henry felt safe with Al in a dreamy kind of way.

"Hey, you ever tried any of these?" Al asked as he reached in his hoodie pocket. "Its all natural. It won't hurt you. Hell, they can't even trace it in your blood, you know."

"What is it?" Henry winced as Al held out his palm.

"You never had these before?" Al laughed.

Henry shook his head, no.

"You should try them," Al said. "I could get you more."

Henry stared at something that looked like dried up bugs to him.

Henry, shook his head.

"Aw, come on." This guy sounded strange, like he was going to dare him.

"HENRY!" Shan's voice sounded so far away. But Shan was in Henry's face. He peeled the dead bugs from Henry's hand and tossed them on the floor. "He's with me! So back off, asshole!" He shoved Al away.

"What have you been doing?" Shan looked at Henry. "You didn't take any, did you?"

Henry shook his head, no.

"Why do you have to be so mean to me!" Henry broke down as Shan was pushing them through the crowded house, out on to the porch.

"Seriously? That's all you have to say to me?" Shan clung on to him in the cold as Shan was doing his best to get him toward the car. "You've been drinking? Haven't you?"

"So?" Henry was certain now it would have been a beautiful night if Shan hadn't messed it up. However, he got in the car because it was cold, and he didn't feel quite that intoxicated anymore.

Naturally, Shan said nothing.

"Why are you, like this?" Henry was mad as he looked over at Shan who was being his stoic self.

"Why are you, like this?" Shan shot back.

"You, aren't any fun, anymore." Henry informed him.

"You're an idiot... when you..drink too much, or.."

"What?" Henry winced.

"I don't like getting high with you." Shan shrugged.

"You're such an expert on the subject. You, don't even want me to try it. Its OK for you to go do it, but God forbid if I were to mess up your night." Henry rolled his eyes.

"You, did. You wore your mother's underwear." Shan eyeballed him to this fact.

"What? Are we breaking up?" Henry snapped as if he was ready to get out of this car right now even if he hadn't a clue where his coat went too.

"No, I'm not saying that." Shan was in a huff. "I think we need to keep it clean. We did before. We gotta somehow find our way back to that."

Henry stared out the window. The bomb fire was going, but no one was there. He wanted to think Shan knew best, but a part of him was certain Shan would find someone to smoke dope with, and it wouldn't be him.