if you're listening

Since when had he lost him?

Zac felt as if he'd crashed a stranger's party. Maybe he had. It was all about Shan.

It wasn't until he saw Fish with Shan that he knew the inevitable. Somehow, Zac hadn't seen it coming.

Naturally, Fish asked if Zac was looking for Syreeta. He wasn't. She was already cozy with Sawyer by the old tire swing with ice cream cake, in hand.

Actually, he didn't know why he dropped by. He guessed he was feeling low. His Mom's surgery was planned for tomorrow. Also, it was a little unsettling with Evy. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt about her. Rushing into something with her might be the worst thing possible, yet it felt like the perfect place to hide from what was going on at home. He was scared.

What if something happened to his Mom? Where would he go? Would he be back with his father who loved everyone but him? Or would he end up with Sawyer and his dad?

"Just thought, we could talk." Zac shrugged as Fish brought him a plate of food.

"Yeah, sure. Are you, all right?" Fish found them a place in the back yard where no one was. They could talk.

"I guess. I should be." He nodded as he picked up a sticky rib, but he put it down and forked through the potato salad. "How come, you, never said anything about..about you and Shan?"

"What's there to talk about?" Fish's easy going demeanor was at the top of his game, at the moment. "You never asked."

"Yeah, but... you know." Zac sighed and took a sip of the sweet iced tea. "I..I tell you..everything." Or he did. Fish knew about Sunny and even Sara.

"I doubt you tell me everything." Fish held in a quiet laugh. He took a sip of his iced tea. "It wouldn't be right." He looked toward Syreeta and Sawyer. "You, pleased with yourself, letting her slip through your fingers like that?"

Zac looked at his plate wide eyed wanting to devour it, including the deviled eggs too which usually never set well with his stomach. He wished not to speak of Syreeta.

"They get along, really well." Zac barely said above a whisper. He envied Sawyer who made her laugh. It was as if they could dance through any catastrophe without harm.

"Yeah, don't they." Fish nodded with a grin.

"So, what is it? When did you know? Shan was the one?" Zac looked at Fish hard. Maybe Fish knew this secret about how to really love someone. And he was keeping it from him.

"I dunno. Sometimes, you just live it and you can't resist." Fish shrugged. "Sometimes, its best to watch it grow. Just see where it goes. Enjoy the ride, while you can."

Zac thought he knew this better than anyone, but maybe he was just thinking too much.