queen of apologies

Ian waited until the last minute, he supposed, but they were having such a lovely time. No, he hadn't taken Josie anywhere special. Just where he grew up. They visited the park. Walked the streets where he used to know people. The usual places.

True, he should have done something special. There was the fair. He'd won her a little teddy bear and they'd gone on all the rides, but it was there on the Farris wheel that he told her he was staying. He really wasn't sure if she were listening.

They were high above the village. The landscape was plush, and it actually looked lovelier than he remembered.

"I'm sorry. I really am." Ian told her. It didn't matter where he'd tell her. He knew it would hurt. It hurt just thinking he was letting her go. "But its your last year of school. And.."

She swelled a frown, but she didn't yell. She only looked away from him as he might see what she was really feeling.

"I think its best. I've thought so, for a long time." Ian felt as if he were in some vast emptiness he could hardly comprehend, even if he were locked in his seat. "I just can't be there. I can't. I need space. I need to be away from..from Ollie and Kayla and...of course, the baby." He felt himself shake inside. Suddenly, he thought he might be sick.

"What are you going to do?" She glared at him as if it might be her death ray.

"I dunno. Jama needs help running the pub. Her dad's in chemo. He isn't well..and..and.."

"You aren't even old enough to run a pub." She snapped back.

"Yeah, I know..but..but there's the kitchen. Pub food. I..I could talk to Ollie." Ian shrugged.

"You, said you wanted to be away from him. Now, you're calling him?" She looked at him as if he was the fool. The real fool.

"Right." Ian pressed his lips tight. "I won't call Ollie." He sighed. "I just want you to be happy. I'm not sure, that's me. Like you, think. I'm so sorry."

"I don't want to hear your apologies." She said ever so coldly as the Farris wheel began to move. Ian knew then. She never wanted to look at him, again.