My Heart Skips a Beat

"OK," Leo said as they were coming out of the theater from the film that only artsy people and nerds would like. "Let me get this straight. Ian used to be with Derrick and then you were his boyfriend...and then..he was with Lola then Josie."

"I was never actually with Derrick." Henry wanted to clarify once they got to Leo's truck.

"I wasn't asking about sex." Leo winced. He was just trying to get all this circle of friend stuff, laid out. He got it. Everyone hated Derrick. Possibly. "I was just..thinking..you know." He sighed. He didn't want to say it, but what if he wasn't completely gay. Ian wasn't. Neither was Derrick.

He wasn't exactly living a lie, but still he felt as if he couldn't be completely honest with his parents, either. They'd say it was just a phase. Henry.

But he didn't think of Henry as a phase. And although, it wasn't nearly as involved as some complicated French movie where you could hope on a train and knew exactly what was going to happen at the end..or not.

"About what?" Henry winced as if Leo caught him off guard.

"Its nothing." Leo could wait. He would. But it felt as if it might be an eternity before something happened. So he'd made the first move. He guessed. A sloppy kiss, at best. Not like he was planning to plunge into anything. Still, they needed to be alone and that wouldn't work in a movie plaza parking lot. So he drove, wondering where could they go on a night that was a wee bit chilly.

Wasn't like they could go back to Henry's room. And he didn't really know the places where lovers went. Even if they did, he just wasn't sure he wanted to be faced with any weird consequences. Yes, he was a little scared. But he knew Henry was more scared.

Finally, he took off on a dirt road in his truck with his favorite CD from Starfkr blasting. They were near the golf course, the back of a pond next to a cornfield. Leo hesitated. It might be a bad idea. He shut off the vehicle.

Henry bit his bottom lip as he looked over at Leo, who decided to get out. Slowly, Henry got out of the pickup truck. It was as if they were getting out of their comfort zone, but they didn't go too far. Just to the tailgate of his truck.

Leo looked up at the clear night. It was a full moon. The air crisp. His hands shoved deep into the pockets of his dark jeans where he sat down on the tailgate. Henry scooted in more. He felt his warmth. It was golden. Leo couldn't help but let a little smile slip.

"I dunno, if..if I'm doing any of this right," Leo finally said.

"Its OK." Henry looked as if he wasn't sure, either. "I don't want to rush anything." Henry winced as if he was going to tell him some thing bad, but Leo felt Henry's soft hair on his shoulder. It smelled of citrus and blossoms. With a careful maneuver Leo kissed Henry's lips softly.

Something simple elated his senses. And when Henry touched his face, Leo closed his eyes as if he knew it was genuine and just as real as the moon.