on their own

"What do you mean, you want to go back?" Darby found it all so baffling with Denny.

After all, they had a studio in Vancouver. Things were looking up. Denny was getting a bit of a buzz on the teen show. What was the problem?

"You, just got here." OK, so he'd been here almost 6 weeks, give or take a few days. Hadn't Denny settled in?

They'd hit it off when Darby got to New York City. Denny was really glad to see him then. Now, not so much. As it was, Denny was a horrible roommate. Darby cleaned up after him, at every turn. Denny didn't seem to notice that Darby had a job too, even if it were behind the scenes on the show.

Darby was pretty sure his big break would never come. He was an extra, at best. There just wasn't a show out there for him. But it wasn't like he made a big deal about it. He worked. Somewhere to suffice.

"I just miss..." Denny was floundering.

"What? Is it the fame?" Darby crossed his arms and began to pout himself. What was he suppose to do? Have a tantrum of some kind? Denny hadn't exactly been the sweetest since he got here. Darby was sure something was missing. They'd had more sex on the road than they had a home. What was wrong with this picture?

Denny made a mess of his clean clothes that Darby placed on the couch.

"What am I? Your maid?" Darby glared at him. "Pick those up and put them away." Darby found himself demanding. This was truly not the dream in his head, ever so long ago.

He'd met Denny at a rave back in their village near Bristol. They'd done a few 'rooms and it was love. Or so he thought. Now he just didn't know.

Denny scrunched his beautiful face up as if he were the superior here.  He was twenty-one, but that baby face of his looked more like 15. Darby was a few years older. Although, he could pass for 32 these days even if he were only 24.

"Jesus! Just spill it, will you!" Darby winced hard.

"You'll get mad." Denny sank down into the soft orange sofa. They were renting by the month. It looked as if Denny was ready to pull his bleached blond hair out.

"Oh, well, I am mad." Darby sassed back as he sat by him.

"Its hard to explain." Denny bit his bottom lip. "I'd rather be..with...Ashley." He finally breathed.

"Ashley?" Darby didn't mean to sound so loud as the walls echoed in their empty place. "Well..he's married." Darby couldn't help be disgruntled, as he looked at Denny's bare feet and his painted toenail in glittery silver. Darby sighed. He'd painted his toe nails yesterday after a little afternoon something. They weren't completely NOT DOING IT. There were moments of bliss. Even if sporadic.

"So. So what?" Denny was in a pout.

"And..and he can't love you..like I can." Darby's thick lashes fluttered. Had he forgotten? Denny told Darby.. he was the best he'd ever had.

"I just don't know. It feels like home. There. Not here." Denny wouldn't look at him.

It was quiet then.

"What do you mean?" Darby didn't like what this meant. What was he getting at?

"What did you do, when..when..you were on your own?" Denny wanted to know then as he hugged himself. Darby supposed this was not a good time to touch him.

"I chatted you up. Of course." Darby informed him. "I did the best I could."

"Yeah, I know what that means." Denny's voice was ever so sullen as if he'd lost faith in him, completely. As if he knew deep down what Darby really was. A profession that Denny despised.

"Just a minute," Darby squinted hard. "I didn't. Really."

"Really?" Denny swelled a frown as he looked Darby over, from the corner of his eye. He knew of Darby excursions back in Brighton Rock one summer, ages ago.

"That was back when I didn't know any better." Darby shrugged. "Jesus, like you, think I want to give my cock up to old men. Here?" Darby made a face as if that was totally disgusting.

Denny said nothing.

"And you?" Darby thought if they were confessing. Denny should fess up, too. "You and Ash?"

"Are you, kidding me? No. He's me best mate." Denny frown with disgust.

"What am I, then?" Darby wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer now. They'd came so far and not he felt as if might as well be on a lonely island. Obviously, Denny didn't love him.