just call me maybe

Xander could hear them next door. There was laughter, but it wasn't a head banging party, by any means.

A part of him wanted to go over to Henry and Josie's..just because.

There was the nagging part of him that told him not to bother. It was best to go on with things, quietly.

If only he could have really talked to Gun.

Xander was certain... there was an art of conversation that he hadn't picked up. Was he holding it all in? These stressful thoughts..that some day would come pouring out in some kind of illness.

Xander went to pick up the damp towels in the kitchen and made his round of picking up any dirty clothes he could find to wash. He definitely had too much time on his hands.

Then he stopped in front of the bathroom mirror, as if he was waiting for someone to arrive, to talk too.

No. There had been no more Hanna since Thanksgiving.

Maybe she even thought he was too pathetic to converse with, anymore.

He nursed his bottom lip. He wasn't crazy..and he didn't know anything about how his mother died when he was little, either. So many questions and definitely not enough time to find the answers. But what if he knew and couldn't remember?

He winced once more, thinking he was really alone now.

At least Hanna had kept him company. Regardless, if she were imaginary or not. He went on with his chore and started a wash.

Yes, it was the little things to be thankful for. He didn't have a washer and dryer where he lived, back home. There was one downstairs. He remembered carrying down loads of wash. Not once did he complain. Why hadn't he doubted anything back then?

A knock came to the door. It was Joey, but he liked to be called J.

"You're place is way too clean." J told him. He'd brought beer and a pizza.

"Not for long." Xander shrugged. He went to get plates.

"What are you doing that for?" J grinned and popped open a beer to hand to him.

It was plain to see J was quite the Neanderthal. He made himself at home on the couch. He turned on the flat screened TV and  used his hand to hold the pepperoni pizza.

"You, get more channels than I do." J informed him. He tuned in to Cartoon Network, wishing it was time for Adult Swim.

Xander went to get paper towels.

Well, at least he wan't quite alone, but then again, he felt as if he was watching someone else's life. Not his own. He grabbed a slice of pizza. and took a sip of beer.

He did his best not to make a face. He hated beer.

Naturally, J belched. Xander knew he couldn't join in. He'd never belched in front of anyone. He smiled, with a sigh. That was something Hanna used to do when she was alive. She could drink loads. Then wolf down an entire pizza and be ready for more beer.

Xander didn't want to think about his best friend. He watched the TV in silence. He didn't even have an appetite for the pepperoni pizza.