What Have I done to deserve this?

It was a little too late.

Xander knew it then and he knew it now. About his feelings for Joey.

He did his best not to give Joey a second thought. Yes, he'd pushed him away. Still, it troubled him, even if he didn't want it too.

Maybe, he really did hate Joey, after all.

A part of him felt he'd gone out of his way to help this lost soul. And when he'd found out Joey had a child, it tugged at his heart. He wanted to do the right thing.

But now, he felt as if Joey had taken advantage of the whole situation. And he didn't want to be in the same room with him.

Even at breakfast, he wouldn't look at him. He wanted to forget that kiss. At least, he could assure himself that he hadn't kissed him back.

He wouldn't dare bring it up. Especially, to Ducky. It was just foolish. He was still mad at his uncle, too.

What if...

It gave him a headache, wondering what those two might have done if he hadn't have caught them, when he did.

This was not the life he wanted.

He wanted the good life for his family. Was he expecting too much? He loved Ducky whole hardheartedly, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him.

Still, the aftermath stung him deep.

"Are you OK, man?" Josh asked as they were getting ready for their shift.

Xander only nodded, knowing he wouldn't bring up Joey. He sighed as if it was time to not think about home, just his job as a medic.

"So, did you have a good new year's?" Xander looked at Josh who wasn't red-eyed, from lack of sleep.

"Never better." Josh's smile was sharp. "I feel better, knowing the baby will be OK." He said he trusted the new babysitter. "She's really good with her."

"How did that happen?" Xander gave him a pat on the back just as a call came in.

"Some things, you're just better off, not asking." Josh's smile was open. The two of them were on the run, as if this was a race they enjoyed, every moment of.