underneath it all

Valentina did her best to focus on Simon, although she knew she didn't have it in her to go on this way with him.

True, it was nice to have a place to go on a Friday or Saturday night. It was date night and yes, there was a part of her who knew how precious Simon actually was. He was a hard worker and she thought he was beautiful, but not enough to want to be with him, the way she was with Ollie.

Maybe this was more of a curse than she knew. Oh, she'd wanted to be happy with Simon and she wanted their dating and friendship to be enough. It should have been enough.

"What are you so sad about?" Simon wanted to know.

"I'm not sad." She did her best to lie, but she knew she was a bad liar. After all, she was cute with a cute smile. She did her best to dazzle him with a smile.

"We should have stayed out all night, New Year's eve." He told her now as his thin body towered over her and he pulled a strand of dark hair out of her face. There in the hallway of the school, between classes.

She sucked in a breath. She knew she should hate herself, but she didn't want too. No, she wanted the memory to linger with Ollie and when she caught him looking at her, she almost lost it.

"Are you feeling OK?" Simon looked at her with great concern.

She nodded.

But she didn't know if she could go on like this. She wanted to be somewhere else, not here with Simon. Oh, it could be stifling. How had she sufficed until now?