just be yourself

 "Please tell me, you didn't think it was a date," Keir said. He told Liam he'd gotten burned before, but here he was again. "I just thought we should celebrate." He told Liam on the drive over to the steakhouse that he hadn't had much to celebrate lately.

"I mean, there is my brother who's finally coming around now and might get married, but you know that's for my mom and dad to celebrate about." He didn't want to say he was too old for video games, but it was his only real weakness during this pandemic. He worked for his dad and he did his best to stay healthy. 

He didn't want to make it an issue with his video game playing friend, but he knew he needed to be honest too.

"Steak and salad for me. No carbs." He even ordered vinegar and oil for his salad. "I've been diabetic since I was three. And I know some take enough meds to eat whatever they want, but the less medication I  have to take the better off I am."

It felt as if he was always strength training or putting his body to a test. Some years had been better than others for him. He knew he didn't take care of himself while in high school. He wanted friends and to go with friends and neglected his medication and how to eat. He was on an insulin pump now, with all sorts of sensories these days under his skin. He felt like a robot boy some of the time. 

And still, he felt a little guilty, being home with his parents. But he couldn't think of himself with anyone. Although, he knew everyone at his diabetic support group were married.

"Steak is my favorite," Liam agreed. He said he didn't drink. "I never learned how. It just makes me sleepy and then I wake up and can't go back to sleep." Of course, he said he thought he might consume too many MONSTER drinks. "I never liked coffee either."

They went on to talk about how so much had changed in their lives during the pandemic. "I live right down the hall from two people who are like a brother and sister to me, and I never see them," Liam said he was really trying to distance himself and he felt he'd accomplished that.

"I was always by myself, anyway. Even at home," Keir couldn't help but smile. It felt as if he'd found a best friend in Liam. Although, it was so hard to find stuff to talk about, yet at his fingertips he knew exactly what he wanted to say to Liam. Still, he knew it was good to see him in person. Although, he wasn't sure he even knew how to nurture a friendship.