Strike away the fears spinnin round in me

 

Yuki wasn't sure what Brandon wanted to hear from her. But he told her there was a guy at Remi's. He and Declan had had dinner with Remi and a guy named Wolf. He sounded as if Remi was in a good place even if he did think the trailer she was in was pretty much a dump.

Yuki was silent. Finally, she nodded. "She's like that," Yuki sighed as she thought on it. Of course, when she bit into the sugar cookies he brought, she tasted nothing.

"I mean, it's like a pattern." It made her tired to think about Remi. Naturally, it felt a bit like sifting through an old TV series she used to love, but not anymore. Maybe she was past that kind of thing. She didn't really know. Kind of like she didn't know where she stood with Emily, either.

It was good to live at Emily's. Yuki felt safe there and really it had been a great January and February wasn't so bad either. Of course, they both worked and of course repainted the livingroom and built some shelves. They were the best of roommates. They liked the same TV shows. They cooked together.

Yes, she was certain they could be life partners, but there was that old boyfriend of Emily's. It was kind of tricky how to go about this guy. Yuki was sure he was a stalker. It was like he watched the house from time to time, but he never did anything. He showed how he still cared by sleeping in his car in the driveway on these frosty nights.

She kept waiting for Emily to give in or at least call the cops. But he was from Boystown, a troubled youth at one time. They'd met on campus there. To Yuki's surprise, Emily had gone to school there for a while before her grandmother got her to come live with her. 

Axton was her past and Emily let him stay there for the most part. Yuki just decided to let it be. But life was springing forward. The weather was nice. Yuki could see the guy camping in the front yard snoozing in a sleeping bag. Of course, he wasn't there when Brandon visited.

Of course, a few nights later Emily thought it might be good if Axton had someone like Brandon to talk to.

"Why?" Yuki looked at her blankly. She knew the two had nothing in common.

"I dunno, it would make Axton see, that you have someone too." Emily had never talked about Yuki's preferences. And for a moment, Yuki was certain she was falling back into a pattern herself. She hugged herself then. 

"Do you want to be with Axton?" Yuki asked thinking this might be time for the perfect exit. She could find her own place even if it were only a studio.

"No, of course not." Emily winced. "I..I just don't think he'd understand."

"He's not the only one, you know," Yuki told her she wasn't sure she knew what Emily wanted either.