Them silver lines, they cut like blades of glass

 

"This month is flying by. I swear it was just Monday," Harley sighed, happy to be with her friend Izzy.  They were out at a new thrift store that was still getting its act together, evidently. Despite coming too soon at the grand opening, they still had a great time going through this hoarder's paradise.

"Are Maddie and Boone still getting married?" Izzy wanted to know as she held up a sundress and Harley examined the frayed him. She shook her head no, and Izzy put it back.

"Oh, I guess so. As far as I know," Harley shrugged about the wedding. She said Maddie was so busy with the children's library program that she rarely saw her. "I think she's getting a lot of extra hours, you know."

Izzy nodded as if she understood.

"You are being awfully quiet about you and you know who?" Harley wondered if the honeymoon was over for Cowan and Izzy. 

"It is different without Mercer around," Izzy crinkled her nose.

"Mercer?" Harley had to laugh, "How could he be the glue to you and Cowan's relationship?" Harley went on to look at some faded jeans. She grabbed them as if this were a deal. 

"I don't know, he was, you know, like a buffer, I guess." 

Izzy's skinny arms shrugged, and for a moment, Harley wanted to ask her if she'd lost weight, but she watched Izzy find a baby doll dress.

"You guys are doing OK, aren't you?" Harley's eyes narrowed, trying to figure out if Izzy might not be telling the truth.

"You know, he's my best friend," Izzy said, looking at her as if there were no qualms.

Harley nodded. 

"When are you and Rain getting married?" Izzy changed the subject as if she would not give Harley any insight.

Harley picked a quirky tee that would go with the jeans. She didn't give Izzy an answer, but looked at more of the clothing. Finally, she turned to her and said. "What if we don't get married?"

"What do you mean?" 

Harley knew Izzy didn't like the sound of that. Izzy was the kind of person who always thought they should all be doing the same thing at the same time, more of a relay of life than a race. Harley knew Izzy had always wanted to be married. 

"Things are fine, the way we are. I love him. He loves me. We are good together," Harley told her about Rain. "I don't want to mess it up."

"Well, someday, you're going to wish you'd gotten married."

Izzy's words were harsh, but Harley understood.

"Are you sure you're  happy with Cowan?" Harley said she thought it was kind of funny that she'd called her on her Honeymoon.

Izzy swelled a frown. They moved on to the shoes and bags. Harley tried on some sunshades, which were very nostalgic in cat eyes, perhaps. She held them as if she'd add them to the mix of clothes she'd found.

"He wants to have sex all the time," Izzy whisper shouted.

Harley burst into laughter.

"What's so funny!" Izzy snapped.

"Weren't you having sex before you got married?" Harley tilted her head with a giggly smile.

"Yes."

Izzy looked at her as if she had better stop smiling. "But we had Mercer around, so we had to plan it out, you know, when it would happen, but now." She practically rolled her eyes. "He'll come home ten minutes after he's off to work, and say he forgot something."

"Oh really?" Harley couldn't help but be a smart mouth.

"Have you ever done it, while watching the Today Show, upside down?" Izzy asked, as it might be a new kind of sexual behavior.

"You know, you love him. You do, or you wouldn't be telling me how bad he is," Harley laughed.

"I didn't say he was bad, it's just-" Izzy shook her head as if it was overwhelming.

Letting someone know it's not over yet

 

Harley could hardly keep up, but she found Lily coming out of the commons and on her way out on a beautiful sunny day.

"Hey, can we talk?" Harley smiled, being as brave as she could be and a little out of breath. Yes, she always did her best not to act tired, but she was. Of course, Lily kept walking with the backpack on her back and even a few books to hug.

Harley reached to touch her shoulder. Finally Lily looked back at her as if she thought Harley was a little crazy. Harley took a deep breath.

"How's it going?" Harley wanted to know.

"You know," she shrugged with an even lip. Harley nodded. She didn't want to say it, but Lily always ate lunch alone. She never really said that much to Brick's friends. And now without Rafe it felt as if she was pretty much a loner.

"Why aren't you hanging out with us?" Harley wanted to know. "We are your friends."

Lily acted as if she didn't have time for her.

"I know what you said to Rafe-" Harley started as the drift of students went on to the parking lot or a stroll in the park.

"What did he tell you?" Lily looked shocked.

"He didn't tell me, anything," Harley smiled. "I'm pretty sure he couldn't pick me out in a lineup." Harley gave her a dead stare. "I heard it from Mercer."

"Mercer?" Lily was in a huff now.

"It's not like he told everyone, just me." Harley assured her. "It's just..well, maybe you need to nurture your friendships too. Maybe it's time you hung out with just us girls."

Lily sighed as if she would have none of it.

"See, maybe you aren't any better than Rafe," Harley hugged herself then, even if she did have a heavy load in her pink backpack.

Lily nursed her bottom lip and began to walk on.

"Its not too late, we are all worried about you. We want you two, to just..I dunno, be yourself," Harley told her. "I know it isn't easy. We all have our problems. Besides, I can be the worst friend myself. I do spend a lot of my time with Brick, who I think he's...well..over you."

Lily gave Harley a serious look. She swelled a frown. 

"Look, we were all going to go to that free summer concert, maybe you can come with us and hang out. It might be fun. I mean, it's just local high school bands, but you never know." Harley's smile was open. "Maybe we could even get together, just you and me."

Lily finally nodded, but Harley knew it would take Lily a while to warm up.

If you're lost, you can look and you will find me Time after time

 

Christmas was coming. Maddie finally had a Saturday to get the Christmas shopping done. Although, she felt as if she could hardly move. That was when Harley said she would drive when she saw her at the library the Friday before.

Maddie felt more comfortable in her old car. Here Harley was driving Rain's Ford Focus.

"What is going on with you two?" Maddie took a moment to ask while stuck in traffic.

"What do you mean?" They were on their way to the outlet mall. Harley kept her eye on the road.

The farther they got there, Maddie wished she'd done all her shopping online, or at least at the Dollar General that was right around the corner from where she lived. True it was an old lady place, but still, she even found the Vapor Cream for a dollar on the bargain aisle was divine on these cold winter nights.

"Oh, I don't know, are you back with Brick or have you and Rain-"

Now Harley gave Maddie the eye. She knew instantly that Harley was perturbed with her. So she shut up as if Harley didn't have to say a word.

"I'm thinking of changing my major," Harley said out of the blue.

"Really," Maddie hugged herself. At least the car was warm and Christmas tunes from the radio played in the background ever so softly.

Harley kept driving. Finally, traffic was letting up. They made it to the acres of parking, just to get out, and felt they were walking through a force field of wind just to get to Hot Topic.

Of course, neither found a thing there. Harley said it was just too dark. Maddie nodded. Yes, they were both past their Goth days now.

"Rain mentioned I should go into diabetic education."

"Is there a need for that?" Maddie wasn't aware of such a thing. Harley nodded as they finally went past some of the in places that didn't have any magical steal deals. They ended up in Vera Bradley and found plenty they wanted to buy for themselves. Finally, after much consideration, they decided to buy each other something.

Maddie got a mini backpack and Harley found a sling bag she couldn't live without. 

"Rain seems to think I'm overworked at the school, and I don't get paid enough," Harley finally mentioned when they stopped for flat whites at a local coffee shop.

"It sounds like he cares about you a lot," Maddie said as she sipped her hot drink, thinking she should have gotten Boone something already for the holidays, but she was always with him.

"Yeah, he's terribly sweet," Harley seemed sad about it.

"Who are you the happiest with?" Maddie asked her.

"Why?"

"You need to be honest with yourself," Maddie told her it was OK to be with Rain.

Harley nodded. 

"I know he's sweet. He's a really good guy, but are you happy?"

"Were you?" She looked at Maddie as if this could mean trouble.

"Oh, I felt I was the one hurting him. It was good to meet someone like him," Maddie shrugged. Of course, she had no idea what to get her boyfriend for Christmas.

"He does make me happy," Harley finally admitted. "It's just, I don't know what to do about Brick."

"I thought you broke up."

"So did I." 

Harley took a sip of her hot drink then.

Pluck up the courage and invite him nowhere good

 "Well, I'm just saying, it's about time," Kimmy shrugged back about her new situation in Lawerence, Kansas with Raney.

Harley looked at her as if she was as flighty as ever. One romance after another. Although, Harley didn't exactly call them that. Kimmy still found the time to come and see her while she was in town with Raney, who was seeing his mother. 

"Is it?" Harley wasn't so sure about anything her cousin had to say. Once upon a time she'd pounced Rafe and now she acted as Who's That?

"He's an artist," she played with the cupcake that Harley brought her at the diningroom table at her parents. "When are you moving out?"

Harley leaned in to watch her cousin not even take a bite. Of course, if Harley was allowed she would have devoured it already. Truly, she thought it best if she lived by herself. This way should wouldn't have to be around all the food that was bad for her, but she knew that wouldn't change anytime soon.

"Why?" Harley looked at Kimmy as if she had an answer for everything. She was always good at assessing the situation. Of course, Kimmy never went through with her own notions. Now she was in art school too. Only not exactly where Raney was. But they were living together.

"You need to be out on your own. You know, how else will you know how to be a grownup?" Kimmy sipped her tea. She had no need for a cupcake.

Harley nodded. "Well, this is me now. I'm going to be a first-grade teacher. Maybe. And I'm working. Brick is on the basketball team at UNL. He's busy."

"You're so young," Kimmy winced as if Harley was missing out. 

"You'd think you were a good eight years older than me, you are only two," Harley felt the need to stand up for herself yet she supposed she was putting down her cousin now. "You've been to so many colleges? And you still can't decide?"

"Well," she shrugged, but let her in on a little secret. "A lot of times I was high."

This alarmed Harley as she glared at her cousin. There was no one in the family to hear this but Harley. How could she not know?

"You know, I just play along until I can't anymore," Kimmy's smile was open.

"Are you high right now?" Harley's eyes lit, hoping Kimmy didn't harm Raney. Harley felt so sad for him, but she doubted he knew of her bad habits. She wanted to know what Kimmy was taking, but she was a clean mystery, keeping it all to herself.

Kimmy laughed at her. "Don't worry about me. Just worry about your boring life."

Harley sighed. Was she supposed to call Maddie and see if they could have an intervention? She guessed it was an intervention. Only it was for Raney to end it with Kimmy.

So I'd shut the curtain. Who shuts the curtain now I'm gone?

 As soon as she heard about Raney's mother being sick, Kimmy knew she needed to make an exit quickly. There was no way she was going to deal with that. Even so, it felt like she'd been in for the long haul with Raney this summer.

Oh, it was a trip, she now thought. On one hand it was just a short summer something. She could still smile about it. He was cute, even sweet. Yeah, a real sweetheart. 

Kimmy knew he needed a makeover. "Why not go blonde," she'd said the second time they went out. Of course, she wasn't living anywhere then. Sometimes, she liked it that way. Seeing just how far down she could go before life picked her back up.

Yeah, she was of a kite, she guessed. But one thing led to another. She guessed they'd had sex. He never knew what was in her water bottle and she certainly wasn't going to share her vodka. 

Even now she was combing the liquor cabinet at Harley's. For folks who said they didn't drink, they kept a lot of alcohol. But she knew she could drink it for them and fill those bottles up with water. She'd laughed, thinking they'd blame it all on Harley. After all, Harley was just too good to be true.

So it was good when she finally heard from her friend in L.A., it was the place to be. They even sent her money for the bus. Hopefully, she'd make it there if she didn't find something better.

No, no goodbyes. Kimmy didn't like them. Oh, she could hear her mother now, "How could I have raised such an uncaring girl?"

They didn't really talk. From time to time her mother talked at her. Maybe she knew Kimmy was in a bad way. Only she never said and Kimmy wasn't going to make a mess of things. It felt as if she'd always been paid off. Credit cards, debit cards. She could pay on her phone now. Her mother said it was her lifeline. 

Maybe so, Kimmy didn't give it much thought. Really, the only home she ever knew was coming to Harley's. Of course, even she could see Harley could barely stand her. There was a time she thought they might have been cut of the same cloth. It was before Harley got sick. She was pissed back then. Especially, with the way she was treated at school. And then she met Brick.

Kimmy thought Harley would get over him, soon enough, but she didn't. Harley was a good girl now. Kimmy rolled her eyes at the thought of what Harley might be up to. Kimmy hated to tell her that she wasn't worth saving.

Still, Harley's home was cozy and her parents did care about her even if Harley didn't think so. They ate together most nights. Watched ME TV. Kimmy thought it was hilarious, but now that she was on the bus and going cross country, she missed it. Why hadn't she tried to be closer to her cousin? They could have been sisters.

Kimmy knew it was too late now. Harley would never forgive her for leaving Raney like this. After all, Kimmy knew he was far too good for her, but somehow he was perfect for Harley. 

Kimmy shook with laughter sitting in that cushy seat next to the bus window as the miles went by, where sleep could sit in if she let it. It felt like a parting gift to herself, breaking up Harley and Brick.

You hold the light in my dark

 

Harley felt she'd been left behind. There were so many few days between college and and her job at the elementary school, but she was so happy to catch up with Izzy even if Brick wasn't too keen about it.

"So..so you guys are a real couple now?" She hated to ask, but found herself alone with Izzy in her kitchen while the boys were busy gaming, naturally.

"Hard to believe, isn't it?"  Izzy looked as if she'd had enough. 

"No, not at all," Harley kept smiling. "As..as long as you are happy."

"I guess, so," she sighed.

"You guess so?" Harley tried to be the friend Izzy needed. She didn't come emptied hands, She had lots of fruit and veg from the farmer's market. 

"Do you miss Link?" Harley looked at her blankly as she put the items away in Lizzy's bare fridge.

"No, not really."

"That's a good thing, right?" Harley wanted to know.

"I guess," she sighed.

"But you're happy, right?" That was the question Harley needed to know.

"Of course," she sighed with a laugh, "I mean, I've got Mercer now and you know..the boys."

"The boys," Harley smiled thinking she wished she was near instead of back home. "You'll have to invite Brick over, when you can."

"Must I?" Izzy sounded as if she didn't want to.

"Oh, you know you will," After all, Brick was in the dorm now. "He isn't that awful."

"I know," Izzy sounded tired even if she was in her hippy chick gear. "Mercer can cook when I don't feel like it."

"Oh, really," Harley smiled. She's missed the little guy. "Are he and Cade OK?"

"I guess," she shrugged. "Cowan got Mercer on in the Drama Department."

"Wow, that is so great!" Harley couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, he really wanted to work at Subway on campus, but they wouldn't hire him because-"

"Yeah, I figured as much," Harley nodded, knowing someone with epilipsy shouldn't be using a meat cutter.

"He's a drama major now," Izzy smiled.

"Seriously?" Harley could hardly believe it. "What does Cade think?"

"Who cares, the kid is busy. Merc even got a gig with a fashion show at the mall. I mean, he is trying." Izzy told her.

"What about you?" Harley hoped Izzy wasn't overdoing it.

"Oh, still at the soap place, I'm assistant manager," Izzy sighed with a nod.

Harley gave her a hug. She was proud of her friend for staying with a job so long. 

Catching up with a friend

 

Harley felt she was stretched to her limit, but then again, she was a true diabetic, and every day was like a rollercoaster. Still, she felt a little lost looking at the new apparel at the department store. She wondered if it were prom yet. It always came early, yet Easter was late this year. Oh, it would be high school graduation soon.

Why did she need to be thinking of this? She wasn't in high school anymore. But she could hear conversations around her and wondered if going shopping alone was a bad idea. She didn't do that many things alone anymore. Not that it bothered her that much to have a home with Rain. Still, she didn't talk about it much with anyone. Not even her parents.

"What are you up to?' Said a familiar voice.

Harley smiled when she saw Maddie. 

"Nothing much," she shrugged.

"Oh, you look like you need something for a wedding," Maddie teased.

"Well, Izzy's wedding is at the park, so you know, I..dunno."

"Don't forget about me, now."

Maddie tilted her head and reminded her they'd set a date for late September.

"But..but aren't KC and Mille-"

"I think they are letting that rest for now," Maddie nodded about the matter. "You know, her sister is back."

Harley didn't really know Tyra, but- "Didn't she date KC once upon a time?"

"They just had a band together."

"Oh." 

Harley didn't want to correct her, but she knew how it didn't work out with those two and then Millie came along. Harley quickly asked how Maddie and Boone were doing. Of course, Maddie gave her a crash course in Alfie and Zoey having a baby and that Boone's bio mother and a brother they didn't know were back.

"Wow, that's been some April for you guys," Harley gritted thinking she should move on to shopping and not even think of what to wear to Izzy's wedding.

"What about you?" Maddie looked at her blankly.

"Oh, you know, classes. Work..that kind of thing," Harley gave her her best smile. 

"Have you heard from Brick?"

"Not really."

Maddie looked to be almost in a pout. "I was hoping you two were still together."

Harley cracked up. "Maddie, you are so in love."

"What do you mean?" Maddie looked hurt that she would even say such a thing.

"Because, you want the rest of us to be in love too." Harley told her, but actually, Harley felt Maddie was so wrapped up in her own world she had no idea what was going on with anyone else's. Of course, Harley did feel she was secretly in love, and that love was Rain.

Another day time forgot

 "You know, I'm worried about you," Izzy couldn't help but think that Harley was all alone while everyone else was in Lincoln.

It was great to spend the day together. Harley said she hadn't had this much fun in ages. That's when she mentioned her falling out with Maddie while they (Izzy and Harley) were out thrifting on the Saturday she'd visited while getting Brick settled in the dorm.

"I just don't know if I'm very good about friendships," she talked about being a Leo.

"You had a birthday this month?" Izzy was shocked. Why didn't Harley sound excited?

"Well, I can't exactly have birthday cake, so what's the point?" Harley shrugged about it. She said she and Brick had a quiet celebration, but she was still hung up on the Mattie situation.

Izzy had wanted to say, "Do you want me to call her?" But she knew Harley wouldn't go for that. And now that Harley had gone home and Izzy was all alone (Well, at least for a good thirty minutes before Cowan and Mercer got home) she decided to text Maddie but phoned her accidentally.

"Oh, sorry..I was just going to text-"

"That's OK," Maddie said she could talk. She'd just gotten off work. "What's up?"

"Well," Izzy didn't know how to start. Should she get involved? She was hardly Maddie's friend, but it wasn't that they weren't friends, either. "I think Harley needs you now more than ever. You know, Brick is here and well-"

"I know," Maddie sighed heavily. "We did kind of have it out..about KC."

"KC?"

"I know, it's nothing now, but it was at the time," Maddie sounded as if they argued when they shouldn't have. "And now, now I just kind of avoid her."

"All because of KC?"

"KC got his own place," Maddie told her about him getting a job at the music place. "He's not going back to Arizona."

"Do you think he..he and Harley might have a chance of getting back together?" Izzy winced hard. She knew their history, but she'd sworn to Harley she'd never tell.

"Not unless she wants to," Maddie said he was busy with his own music and his partner Millie. "I don't guess they are dating, but they spent a lot of time together."

"I hope not," Izzy said she didn't think Harley would be that lonesome with work and college. 

"Me too," Maddie asked about Brick then. "Do you guys see him much?"

"Not really," Izzy thought it was best to leave him alone. "I've got Mercer and he keeps tabs on him."

"Mercer? How is he?" Maddie wanted to know if he and Cade were OK.

"Oh, Mercer's busy with the theater and I think that's good for him." 

Izzy told her they saw Cade for Sunday dinner.

"That's nice," Maddie said they usually had Sunday dinner with Boone's friend and his wife. Sometimes, it was a big dinner with Boone's brother and his wife.

"Are you sure you two aren't dating?" Izzy couldn't help but tease. Maddie only laughed.

Bah! Humbug! Now that's too strong

 

Why were there so many people at Dollar Tree, thought Maddie as she edged her way with her basket. Harley followed. They were on a mission to find something for Maddie's coworkers.

"I can't believe you aren't giving them anything at work?" Maddie looked back at her friend while her knuckles had gone white, clinging to the basket.

"I don't really know them. Nobody said anything about gifts," Harley sighed. After all, she was pretty much low on the totem pole at the diabetic clinic.

Maddie pushed on, and finally she found the cosmetics aisle. "I don't want to be cheap, really, but I just don't have the time to be creative."

Maddie would be placed in Adult Services at the library at the new year. A part of her wanted to make a good impression, yet she was certain Dollar Tree presents weren't going to cut it.

"Oh, look, OPI," Harley pulled down some OPI nail polishes, of course packaged as tiny nail polishes. Maddie saw they were green. Her new boss would love it. Her color was green as in Creativity.

"Thanks." This was good. It was going to work. Just a few little things. She noticed the nail art tools. She was certain her new boss could use them in crafting, another win. Maybe she could do this yet, on such a tight budget.

"What are you getting Rain?" Maddie asked.

"The usual," she sighed. "He's really into the labubu craze, but he likes the vinyl kind.  ONE PIECE labubus. They are on sale on Amazon. I already got it. I don't care if he has it already. It's what he's getting." Harley shrugged as she looked at something she wasn't sure what it was exactly used for. She asked Maddie if it was for the lips for a blush, and Maddie shrugged. Harley put it back.

"That's it? That's all you had to get him?" Maddie looked at her wide-eyed

"Just the usual, like undies, socks, maybe flannel pants."

Maddie nodded as she watched Harley grab the Vitiamin E oil. Maddie took some too. It looked so neat. She knew she needed some.

"Boone said we were only going to get stuff from 5 Below."

"Have you been there lately?" Harley looked at her with a chuckle. "Everything is five dollars or above."

"Yeah, I know. We have like a thirty-dollar limit. And then there is Thriftmus." Maddie nodded.

"I'm so glad you thought of that. I love it. You know, having a Thriftmus party. I love thrifting," Harley smiled.

"I know. Most of my work clothes are from Goodwill."

"But Thrifties is the best," Harley smiled. They both loved the new thrift shop in town.

"Do you think Mercer will come to the party?" Maddie hadn't heard back, but she'd drawn a name for him and sent it to him in an e-mail.

"Of course, he's bringing Sterling," Harley told her.

"Oh," Maddie found herself smiling. "Do you know something, I don't know?"

"I don't know anything." Harley shrugged.

They'd found Funnel Cake Mixes. They each took a few. Someone would need those for a last-minute gift.

dreams and wishes and then there are veggies

 Harley wished Brick would stop making over her so much. She wasn't going to fall apart. Yes, there was a lot of prep work, keeping up with being a diabetic. And yes, her blood sugar might go up and down for no reason. And yes, she felt a little drunk sometimes. Other times, just shakey. But she wasn't going to let that stop her from going to school. She'd get used to it somehow.

Of course, Brooklyn was very good at being that someone by her side.

"But don't you need to be with Mercer?" Harley didn't need to be taken care of, and she was sure Mercer didn't need that much care either. "What's going on with you two?" Harley asked her at lunch. These days Brick had an early lunch while she had a late lunch. Of course, most days she snacked on carrots and almonds along with a few pretzels. 

"You know, we're just friends." Brooklyn smiled as if they were besties.

"And what will happen if you meet ..I dunno, Prince Charming." Harley looked at her blankly as she bit into a carrot. 

"Oh, I don't believe in stuff like that," Brooklyn laughed. 

Harley did her best to smile, but really Brooklyn was just a little too perky for her own good. She probably smiled when she did crunches and squats at home for a workout. Harley didn't know what Brooklyn was on, but she had good reason to believe she was faking it.

"You really like Mercer, don't you?" Harley gave her the eye as if she might be a fortune teller.

"Well." Brooklyn played with her food. As of yet, Harley hadn't seen her take a bite. She did wonder if Brooklyn had an eating problem of some kind. Harley offered her a carrot. She then opened a bag of popcorn and offered her some of that too, but Brooklyn wouldn't take it.

"It's OK, if you do like him. Who doesn't?" Harley said Mercer was a good friend to everyone. "One of the best listeners I know." Harley wouldn't say but she and Mercer went way back to sixth grade. They had started band together. Of course, he got stuck with the tuba and she never quite had the lips for the flute. So they hung back watching the others master their instruments. They both liked the drums and the keyboard. She guessed they would have never made a good band, but they could dream. Naturally, neither were in band now.

"It's just, he's a mystery to me," Brooklyn told her. "As much as we've spent so much time together this summer, it's like I still don't really know him. But he is nice and like you said, a very good listener."

Let me go

 

"What are you doing?" Did Harley read that text right? Was it from KC?

"Oh, you know, just keeping my schedule." She'd managed through a day of afternoon daycare. She was home now, relaxing in bed. "How are you?" It was a shock to hear from him, actually. Still, she didn't know what to say. After all, he was just an old bandmate. Nothing else. Still, she wanted-

She shut her eyes tight. How could she? This was so wrong. He should not have text. Yet, he'd done no one any harm.

"Has Maddie said anything?" He wanted to know

"About?" She texted back. Why was he asking about Maddie?

"Um, nothing."

"Tell me." Harley nursed her bottom lip. Maybe it wasn't a one-sided thing after all.

"I don't want to." She read his words and it made her furious.

"Well, I want to know." Harley blasted back at her fingertips. What was going on?

"Don't hate me."

"Should I?" She sighed, she knew she should.

"It was only for a day or two." His text flashed on her Android screen. She winced hard.

"WHAT?" She was furious.

"Last summer." Just simple words. But she was with him last summer. How could that be? When was he with Maddie?

"I shouldn't have let it happen. It didn't mean a thing."

Harley sighed deeply as she looked at the ceiling. Should she ask what happened? She did.

"It feels so long ago. I mean, it was so easy with her."

Harley closed her eyes.

"You didn't."

"It's not that bad, really." His words came back fast. "It's just I knew what she wanted."

Harley wanted to go cold, yet she felt so hot. 

"It was only a kiss," KC said.

"Stop making it sound like a song." Harley's teeth clenched. "Maybe she's better off with Rafe anyway."

Harley nursed her bottom lip. Why had she been thinking about him? She hated him. She wanted too.

"She's still with Rafe?" KC sounded hurt, but Harley didn't know for sure.

"You're a piece of work, you know that," Harley went on a rant as she let her fingers do the talking. "I hate you more now." She signed off.

Whirlwind Girl

 Harley felt Prom blew away in the wind. She hardly remembered it. So much to do to get ready for Graduation that it was all so frustrating.

She felt she'd neglected Maddie. But maybe that had been going on for a long time, and she just didn't notice until now. Still, she was holding it together with Brick. She knew he came first. Always would. She needed to let KC go just like Maddie said.

And then her cousin Kimmy showed up for Harley's big day on the football field. Graduation. Actually, she was there for a week or two.

"What are you really doing here?" Harley finally asked. Kimmy was the know-it-all who hadn't lasted a semester at her nearby university. Harley was beginning to think the girls in her family weren't very smart. Was it a money matter or just genetic? Not that she would dwell on the topic. She was certain Kimmy would look down on her that she was already taking classes at the local Metro. "Don't even bother with Rafe."

"What?" Kimmy wrinkled her nose in a scowl as she didn't like anything about Harley's graduation party, or the clothes in her closet. "He's just a baby."

"Well, that baby of yours has moved out and has a redhead who he's attached to." 

Harley didn't mean to be in a huff, but it was all so stressful. Brick was going to Lincoln in the fall but he would be at the grocery store this summer. Some things hadn't changed. Even if KC was around. He was acting like a big brother he was supposed to be with Maddie. 

Harley had seen them out at Five Guys that opened. Of course, Maddie was in her pajama bottoms and Crocks, lounging in maybe his old hoodie, sharing a burger and fries with him. 

Oh, it was low. She hadn't expected that. It disagreed with Harley. They were just too casual. She'd wanted to ask Maddie where was Rainy, but she kept quiet. Harley was with Brick then.

"You're so innocent," Kimmy had said to her. "Relax. This will mean nothing to you in a couple of years."

Her pat on the back only disgusted Harley.

Maddie hated to do it, but she waited until after Graduation to break up with Rainy. She didn't know how to break it easy, but she knew they shouldn't keep up a long-distance romance. It would be cruel for both of them.

"You'll be busy. You'll see," she sighed thinking all along how could she stay busy. "I want you to be happy, all on your own."

This was what she'd decided for herself. Even with KC. Yes, he felt like family now, and she wanted to keep it that way. She intended to move out on her own. This meant getting another job. She didn't know where or when, but she'd applied anywhere she could. Really, she just wanted to sleep when she was home.

Junie thought she was trying to do too much. "Its your summer to travel. Have some fun."

"Now, you're beginning to sound like your mother," Maddie just smiled. "I have to get out on my own."

Of course, there was her uncle's old car to worry about.

"Maybe you should give it to KC?" She'd suggested to her Aunt, but her aunt told her she'd rather pay her car insurance. "Boys are more expensive." 

"But he needs a car," Maddie shrugged, wondering the last time KC had driven anywhere.

"He's got a bicycle." 

Still, Maddie worried about him. What if he got in a crash? Soon enough, she noticed how his dad let him borrow the truck. She guessed they'd find a way to pay his insurance too. 

"I should pay you something?"

"How about I work it out with your parents," her aunt said she'd let them know how Maddie wanted to be on her own. 

All the while, she was worried Rainy was upset with her. Still, it was a good time to leave him on his own. Still, she promised she'd text. "Let's just do it on Sundays, but it'll have to be after nine at night." She still worked on Sundays at the coffee shop.

I'm surprised the way you affect me

 

"What were you trying to do?" Cade yelled at Rafe.

Really, Harley thought they should call the professionals. "What if the cops come?" Harley mentioned it was getting late. There was a curfew. Or had they forgotten.

Of course, Mercer and Brick looked at Rafe as if he was just being the little shit he was. 

"Come on, we can do this," Rafe sounded optimistic. "If everyone helps, we can push this sucker right out of here."

Harley gave Maddie a hoodie to put on in the chill of the night air. They were after all in their homecoming dresses.

"Did he hurt you?" She couldn't help but ask as she had her arm around Maddie's shoulder. Suddenly, she felt as if she was the friend that Maddie needed. Honestly, she'd missed it. She never heard from her other friends. But they were in a University world now.

"No." Maddie shook her head. "We..we just talked."

"Oh." Harley nodded as if that was enough.

Meanwhile, Rafe got Cade in the driver's seat as if he knew the most about cars, but then Cade motioned for Mercer to do the driving.

"Why?" Rafe looked at him blankly.

"Because, he's my boyfriend and I don't want him to get his clothes messed up," Cade told him.

Rafe blew a breath.

So there they were, the boys would push the hood of the car, bogged down in gunk. Harley made a face of disgust. Mercer had the car in reverse and the tires wailed in despair. The stale odor of burnt rubber lingered, giving everyone a cough.

Harley nursed her bottom lip. Here they went again, pushing harder. The car jumped back, suddenly. It was like it was a sign of hope. 

Harley shook her head as the boys were proud of themselves. 

"We're not out of the clear yet," Harley said to Maddie. Yes, they'd be in a mud bath too, but they went to help, and finally after spinning tires for a good twenty minutes or so, the car was back on the dry dirt road. 

"Should we all meet up for coffee?" Harley asked.

"You know, we just had pie," Brick's brow wrinkled as if she was not supposed to be eating this late.

"We gotta get to the car wash," Rafe shrugged.

Maddie remained quiet.

"All right, then let's meet up at Golden Corral for lunch," she knew when it came to a buffet neither Mercer nor Brick could say no. Those boys could stay a good three hours, just sampling what was in the bakery. 

Mad about the boy

 Maddie wished she was as sweet as Rainy thought she was, but then again, maybe she thought about the bad stuff too much. Like having it out with Harley before Prom. 

Harley was going to help Maddie thrift a prom dress. It started out as a girl's day one Saturday morning. Coffee, then off to the thrift stores. It was going to be fun. It would be fabulous, but after Maddie found a dress that fit like a glove and Harley found something in her favorite color that would go with the shoes, things started to fall apart.

Granted, they were in Maddie's car and she was driving back from Omaha on the freeway. Harley mentioned KC.

"What about him?" Suddenly, Maddie knew why KC was so upset before he left. It was Harley's doing. She knew it.

"Did he say anything?" She'd asked which led to a "Why should you care?" from Maddie.

They got into a shouting match. Really, Maddie wasn't even sure what she'd said or what Harley had said. She just knew she was mad. And she had lost her best friend which she didn't know she had, until now.

She squinted now wondering if she'd yelled too much (Rainy thought she was coming down with something because she could hardly talk). Did this all have to do with Rafe instead?

It had been awkward seeing Rafe with Ruby at prom. He wasn't quite his dazzling self. Thank God. It still made her a little nervous to be around him, but of course, he was cold as ice and so was she.

Oh, she did her best to let Rainy spin her around on the dance floor as much as possible. They hung out with Mercer and Cade and even Harley and Brick. But she felt she couldn't talk to Harley anymore. What was she to KC? Was she really just a friend?

Maddie would never want to break up Harley and Brick. She was with Rainy now, who might have been more considerate than she needed even if she thought she needed someone like him in her life. Besides, he always let her lead and she liked that. He was true even when she was blue.

Maybe she didn't deserve him. Really, she wondered if she needed mental health or somebody to just hypnotize her to forget Rafe. Forget KC. She'd be graduating soon. And even then she had no idea what she was going to do.

Of course, when she saw Rafe's text on her phone the morning after prom she texted right back that she was very happy and it had nothing to do with him.

The Valentine Stress

 "That's a shame," Lily said to Harley who told her all about Izzy and Link while they were waiting for a table in the local Italian place. After all, it was Valentine's day and the place was packed. 

Of course, Lily didn't really mean it. She never liked Izzy anyway. "Wasn't she Brick's ex?" Lily wrinkled her nose.

"Weren't you too," Harley kept hugging herself. Her frown was small, but Lily knew how Harley felt about her. Yes, there was a certain bitterness they couldn't overcome, even if Lily had moved on.

At the moment Boone was getting them a pink drink of some kind from the bar and Brick was doing the same, except he and Harley were having diet drinks.

"You've lost weight," Lily told Harley, the girl was bone thin. Did she have a problem?

"I am just fine," Harley pursed her lips.

"You don't do sports or anything?" Lily told her about the cross country she was doing. Actually, it was Boone's idea but he ran with her on the weekends.

Harley held in a laugh. "I'm afraid not. I do walk a lot." 

She mentioned how she thought she stayed active enough in the afternoons at the after-school daycare program. After all, she hadn't had any illness recently. She seemed to know everyone who had Covid at school.

Lily didn't know if she could keep this up. This was the last thing she was expecting for Valentine's day. So many people, she thought as she looked around. The noise was just getting worse. Actually, she felt as if she might be coming down with something, but as soon as she saw Boone she perked up. 

But then she saw Phil trailing him. 

"Oh, so that's what took so long," she said under her breath.

"What?" Harley wanted to know.

"Nothing,"

Of course, Lexi was right behind Phil.

 It felt funny to still have a friend in high school to chat with. But Boone introduced Harley to Lexi and immediately they started a conversation. It made Lily uncomfortable. Then Brick arrived and he talked just as much to Phil as he did to Boone. They had decided to get a table for the six of them.

"It'll be fine," Boone told Lily.

"But it's our Valentine's Day dinner?" Lily fretted.

"It's easier this way," Boone shrugged. Did she want to wait another hour?

Oh, those V-Day Memories🩷

 "So was  he more weird than ever?" Harley slammed her locker shut. Maddie almost sputtered in laughter. Really she wondered how Harley knew her boyfriend so well.

"Oh, it was just Valentine's day," Maddie said as she told Harley that Rafe had given her a rose. "We went to hear some live music by the bowling alley."

"Bowling alley?" Harley made it sound like the worst date ever.

"It wasn't in the bowling alley," Maddie clarified. "We went to the burger bar." Of course, Wednesday's Valentine's special was two for one burger night. Really, Rafe knew how to budget. "But..."

"But what?" Harley looked at her blankly in the crowded hallway of the school.

"It was Tyra's new band," Maddie shrugged. "We didn't know. Anyway, Rafe..Rafe thought she was Kimmy and well, yeah, he got a little nervous. I mean, she just wanted to say hello. I think he thought she wanted something else."

"Oh, he would," Harley sighed. "He can be such a narcissist. He thinks we are all in love with him."

Maddie nodded. Possibly, Harley was right. "She didn't ask about KC. She was really nice."

They walked down the hall together then in the middle of the crowd.

"But was he nice?" Harley sounded as if she needed a full report.

"Oh, he was Rafe, you know," Maddie said with an open smile. 

Harley didn't need to know how he wanted something full-on, but usually, at the last minute he'd brace himself and pull away. But it was awful close in the backseat of her uncle's car down by the river. Yes, they still went down there. At least she knew where to park now so they wouldn't get stuck.

It was true, they might be in it for the lust, but deep down she knew they were doing their best to be the best couple they could be. And he was her best friend.

Happy Hallowthanksmas

 Tis the season for gatherings or so Lily guessed.

Actually, all she really wanted was to be alone with Boone again, but that hadn't happened.

Sure, the dinners started soon enough the weekend after Dory moved in. First Cedric did all the cooking, but it was a bit much. It was like he cooked for an Army. "Sorry, I was in the Navy for a little while," he explained. Cedric was not always a nurse.

"I wonder how old he really is?" Lily had no idea. What if he was too old for Dory?

"Oh stop it!" She and Boone had their whisper arguing from the get-go. Of course, this did not stop Madonna from her love bites. She liked to lick Lily's ankles when she least expected it. Lily was afraid that cat had a curse on her.

Soon enough Boone's brother Alfie and his girl showed up. And Boone's sister Oakley and her husband. It was beginning to get crowded. Even Alfie's friend, newly married Gage and Nora were there, showing them slide shows of their Honeymoon in the Ozarks. It made Lily cringe. Especially, when they announced they would have a baby by June. She didn't ask for this. Of course, she was being mute and she knew Alfie would ask Boone if she was all right. But she kept hanging on. Wondering when Boone might give in. 

He was so concerned about Phil and Lexi, too. It was starting to bother their (Lily & Boone) sex life. Naturally, they practically did intercourse on the floor behind the bed. Lily thought he might break his back or maybe hers. But at least it happened like a new cold front. And there weren't many of those this dry Autumn.

Before long, everyone was going to the haunted house or the pumpkin patch. Of course, it was a whole group of them. Boone even got Phil and Lexi to come along. Only Phil was so careful with Lexi as if she might break. Then Boone's mother showed up with Alfie and Boone's dad. After a while when they went to the Pumpkin Patch again, she even invited Gram who was glad to go and watch the carnival rides. 

"Aren't you having any fun," her Gram had asked while Boone was getting them caramel apples at the pumpkin patch.

"I'm trying," Lily was honest.

"Oh, you got to look at the bright side," her gram smiled. "Just smile. These are the little things that will mean a lot, one day."

Harley didn't know what to make of the letter. She only had a wee bit of time to read it as the sun was setting. Of course, they were all headed for the Halloween carnival at the Youth Center. KC's step-sister delivered it and she was not alone. There was a boy who practically had his arms around her waist. 

She didn't question Junie. Yes, she knew KC had been trying to get through to her on the phone. She'd done her best to avoid him at all costs. But still, she needed to know. After all, HATE was such a final word. She couldn't say she loved him either. They were just friends. 

She knew immediately how much he disliked being so alone. 

"Why is he like this?" She breathed under her breath as she winced through his words. It was like he wanted her to hate him. He did. But he didn't either.  Finally, she stuffed it in her backpack wishing she could shred it. She didn't want Brick to see it. Of course, he was off with the guys shooting hoops.

Just then Maddie showed up with Rafe who might as well be stuck to her. That alarmed look on her face had nothing to do with Harley though.

"Was that Junie I just saw?" Maddie wanted to know who she was with.

"I don't really know," Harley shrugged.

Of course, no one was in costume. It was rather warm this year. Harley felt as if she might be in another state. It didn't feel like the Heartland anymore where everyone thrived in layers of clothes and breathing in hot chocolate.

"Maybe I should call my uncle about this," Maddie reached in her back pocket with the one hand she had. But Rafe reached for it before she could.

"Rafe, can you just give us five minutes alone," Harley snapped. After all, she could loom over him like a vulture in her platforms. He shrugged away as if he'd get them something hot to drink. 

"Are you sure you want to be with him?" Harley asked.

"It's not that bad." Maddie squinted a smile.

"But..but he's so gangster-like," Harley grimaced and Maddie laughed out loud.

"Oh, he's just a kitten, you know," Maddie told her.

"More like a dog," Harley protested.

"You're so funny," Maddie's smile was open. "Sometimes, you need that."

"What?" Harley wanted to know.

"Oh," Maddie sighed. "Than animal instinct." She chuckled. She put her phone away. She wasn't going to text her uncle after all.

Hot summer streets and the pavements are burning

 

Harley wanted to think of it as a small hiccup to her summer when her cousin Kimmy moved in. After all, she was from Seattle and was thinking of going to UNL. Hopefully, not UNO. Oh, it didn't matter. Harley hoped she would get bored and go home.

And then Kimmy met Rafe. Thankfully, Kimmy didn't see her face of disgust. NOT THAT GUY! She wanted to scream. After all, she was sharing her room with her cousin now.  Harley did her best to smile and said she didn't know him. It was best to keep it that way.

"Why would you lie to her?" Brick acted as if Harley was the worst. 

"What is the point," she looked at him as if Rafe didn't know her. Harley always had an early lunch with him before he went to the grocery store while she took someone to the pool. It was really a great summer job. Even if she was plastered in sunscreen and hiding under an umbrella while she was there. 

She did her best to keep calm and hope Kimmy blew out like a cold front of her summer. But oh no. They were going out.

"Maybe you two could come with us, somewhere," Kimmy loved to show Rafe off. Of course, Harley couldn't think of a place to go, but Kimmy was even chummy with Brick and he got tickets to the College World Series Baseball Games. Actually, the only place Harley could be alone was during her afternoon babysitting at the pool. It gave her time to think about how she would get out of having to do anything with Rafe and Kimmy.

She got Mercer's input at the library. Of course, he told her she was making way too much out of it.

"It's just for the summer," he shrugged while they were busy in the children's area making bookmakers for summer while somebody went to storytime.

"Is it?" She winced at him. "What if they get married or something?"

"Oh, it'll be something. I can't see Rafe ever getting hitched. Don't you know? He's got a ton of anxieties."

"Anxieties?" She'd never noticed. He looked as if he owned his world with that swift walk of his and a glare that had a GO TO HELL look. "He's so different from Cade."

Mercer agreed. Of course, that was all the enlightenment he could give her.

Back to the pool she went. Doing her best to be watchful of who she was caring for. But even Sylvia took to her little friends in the shallow end. Even she found a beau who was all of five. Oh, it was going to be a cruel summer all right as she did her best to stay her ivory self.

And then somebody grabbed her by the ankle with a wet hand. He dripped from the pool and she was getting drenched.

"Hey, want to be in my band," he said.

Immediately, she laughed. Was he for real? It was the guy that Rafe sang with, KC.

"What do you mean?" She sat up in the lounge chair even shielding her eyes in her shades.

"It doesn't matter if you can sing," KC shrugged. "I just need a girl in my band and I think you can play the part."

Harley coughed up a laugh. Yes, summer had finally gotten interesting.

Not all storms come to disrupt your life

 

"Well, if anyone can do this, you can," Brooklyn said to Harley when she texted her about the Rock Band's offer. 

She was at the horse camp where she was staying for the summer. Yes, they were in full throttle (in spite of the heat and humidity) with mostly Western Pleasure classes, but once a week she got in her gear to do Equestrian events. Generally, it was more of a hands-on experience, but it made her feel she was in a brand new world. She didn't know why she hadn't been more serious about it before. Of course, it might not get her anywhere into the future, but it was such a good feeling to be doing something the loved. Somehow, she hoped Harley found that feeling too. 

"It makes me a nervous wreck," Harley said about being on stage.

"Oh, it'll be a rush, you'll see," Brooklyn was enthusiastic in her text. "Just keep going, don't let Brick hold you back."

"Hold me back?" Harley shot back. Brooklyn knew she'd hit a tender spot with Harley. Brooklyn knew how motherly Harley was with Brick and he was just as fatherly with her. 

"He's got basketball, you've got this," Brooklyn told Harley. "Go for it!"

Brooklyn left it at that. Before she knew it, Mercer was texting her about Harley being in KC's band. Brooklyn smiled at the text. She put her phone in her back pocket and went to work on the stalls that needed to be cleaned.

Never did she think she would do so much manual labor, but she liked it. She liked the couple that ran the camp. Besides, she was glad to be away from her mother who never had a nice thing to say about Griffin. 

She made it sound like they were doomed. Why didn't she reach out to her old boyfriend Trent? Brooklyn didn't want to think about the past. The future looked so bright even if it was sweeping, pitching hay, and of course, brushing down horses. 

In fact, she loved the smell of horses. But she knew by the end of July she would be done here. She had to get ready for her fall classes. And there was that road trip she'd planned with Griffin to Worlds of Fun.

Yuki was glad Emily was there. Especially, that night when she was fighting off Zelli. It was like deja vous. A part of her felt it was her fault for bringing out the worst in people.  Yes, there were a few times back when she was a kid that she never told anyone. She did her best to become a wallflower. It always felt best to love unrequited. But at least, Axton came to the rescue and Emily was there to pick up the pieces. Really, she felt she and Emily both felt shattered. How could this be?

Still, it bothered Yukie, thinking Zelli could have hurt Emily. Then she didn't know about the baby. But now the scene kept running through her mind as if it could have been a disaster. What if Zelli had hurt Emily?  Yuki wanted to not think about that night with Zelli. It felt as if she was in a rut. That was not the Zelli she wanted to know and at the moment she couldn't even think what Zelli was doing or where she was. 

Yuki hadn't called Melissa and Rylie about any of this. She hadn't even found the energy to mention it to Brandon, either.

No, she just needed quiet. Yuki and Emily talked that night. Of course, Emily was so shy and scared. Her voice cracked with emotion when she told her about how she felt toward Yuki. 

"You're not scared of me, are you?" Yuki had asked.

"No..no..it's not like that. It's just I feel I never know what to do ..because..because I feel it will be the wrong thing," She was in tears when she finally admitted she didn't want to be with Axton. 

Of course, in the end, Yuki felt she was having to comfort Emily about the baby. All the while Em kept sniffing back tears and saying, "I didn't want it to be this way. I didn't."

"Don't get so stressed," was all the advice Yuki could give her. "We'll be fine. It'll work out." 

They held hands as if they were there for each other. Of course, Emily told Yuki she was the strongest person she'd ever known. 

Yuki found herself smiling and crying in the same moment. In her heart, she felt she was in the right place. Yes, this was home. And to secure it she had to have faith to go on. No, Emily was no fierce creature of the night, but Yuki was beginning to realize they were finishing each other sentences. And the nights were cozier and dreams came quicker when they rested together.

Now here you go again

 "She probably hates me," Izzy needed to talk to someone about Lily. At least, there was Harley, who was always up for some thrifting. Since she quit working at the school, there was more time for excursions and she drove down to Lincoln. After all, the snow was thawing and it felt almost like spring.

"I wouldn't worry about it," Harley told her she doubted Lily even noticed. "You know how she is, she's a very ME person."

"I guess, but maybe that visit from Brick's grandmother worried her," Izzy agreed. She just didn't like this feeling. 

"Just think about about a wedding this summer, OK?" Harley smiled back at her.

"Aren't you worried about Brick at all?" Izzy frowned, thinking how could Harley be over her high school boyfriend.

"Oh, he's a big boy, it'll hit him sooner or later," Harley shrugged about the matter, "There is only so much you can do."

"I told you about Mercer, didn't I?"

"Yeah, that was sweet of him to have a Valentine's date," Harley said she hoped he was moving on.

"What did you and Rain do?" Izzy had to ask as she found a cardigan that would be great for spring.

"Just stayed in." 

"Is that all you did?" Izzy teased.

"We watched War of the Gargantuas."

"Oh." Izzy nodded wondering if that was code for something else. She'd noticed a change in Harley after living with Rain. She had a feeling they might be more than roomies. 

Of course, Harley moved on to the bags. She'd discovered a Ted Baker tote for only $4.99.