It's way too real, I'm way too sober

 "Unbelievable, it's just unbelievable," Dan shook his head no, but then he filled with laughter. The flooring was brand new. He remembered those squeaky wood floors. 

Honestly, he felt bad about letting the place go, like he did all those years ago when he was single and thinking he'd never have a family. It felt right then. Letting it go to a family. Oh, he'd painted the rooms, back then, but he didn't do a lot. 

The basement was prone to water and he'd tried his best to get that in line for the new family back then. Maybe the kitchen was the worst. The cabinets didn't even have doors back then, now there was a new kitchen window at the sink and the the place was so brand new.

It made him smile. He knew he shouldn't be so happy. Yes, he'd saved up after he sold the place. But, he thought of the accident, thinking he was the blame. Only, he wasn't. That high schooler was driving faster than he was. 

It felt like a wake-up call. Still, he wasn't sure what Ivy would think.

"Well, let's get it," she finally smiled. "We'll, have more room here, and..well, when you know, the other kids visit, they'll have a place to stay." She was impressed with the backyard and, and of course, the closet space.

"The master bedroom has a bathroom," Ivy practically laughed. Oh how they needed more bathrooms in their life. There was one in the basement and another on the main floor for company.

Simon said the place still had good bones which he couldn't say about some of the newer housing. He talked about the taxes, they weren't as painful as some of the surrounding cities.

"You know, your job well," Dan nodded.

"I think Matty wanted to get the place for Valentina, but she changed his mind. She said this would always be your house, and if there was a way you could get it, well, she wanted me to help," Simon said some neighborhoods were being bought up by corporations, but not here. 

Dan nodded. Yes, he had to take Simon up on this offer. He knew with this economy it was all so unpredictable, but he wanted to take a chance.

Ivy was thrilled and she hugged Dan. For the first time, he felt they were in this together. It felt as if life just got better.

Are we so in denial when we know we're not happy here?

 Matty thought it best if Simon (his sort of adopted uncle who was only a good six years older) was with him to talk to Dan. They did have a deal for him.

"You know, Simon flipped your family's old house, and he's willing to give you a deal. You know, like first home owner kind of deal," Matty said first thing when he got to Dan and Ivy's apartment.

Angel, a toddler, ran to him and Matty scooped him. He was a busy body, and he did love the outdoors. Dan nodded, and said he'd been  happy to see a family move in, but they were already gone now. 

"I was trying to sell it to Matty," Simon sighed with a smile, "but with Valentina's family down-sizing and moving into a one-level, he says the house is their's now."

Dan nodded as if he thought that was good.

"So, how about getting your old house back," Simon said.

Dan sighed with a light laugh as if they might as well have told him he won the lottery, which was highly unlikely.

"It's got all the upgrades you need. New windows, new plumbing and heating," Simon sounded he knew what he was doing now. He was informative about the house that he knew through and through.

"And of course, new appliances," Matty mentioned he was impressed with the closet space. "So how about it?" Matty smiled still holding Angel.

By then, even Ivy was listening in. 

"We need to take a look, can we see it?" She asked.

"Of course, you can," Simon had the keys with him,

"Right now?" Dan acted as if it was one of those things where you would need an appointment. It was almost night fall. But the snow hadn't came yet it was just cold.

In a few minutes they loaded up in Simon's mini-van while Matty stayed with the baby and they were on their way to see the new and improved house.

Looking from the window above Its like a story of love.

 

"He's not all right," Valentina didn't feel the same way Zoey did about what happened to her brother Dan. She knew who the real culprit was.

Dan was to stay in the hospital overnight because he did hit his head.

"He's going to be OK," Zoey assured her. Valentina wished she could believe this. At least Angel could stay with her mother for the time being. But she knew Angel wasn't going to be taken care of by Ivy. 

"I've never liked her," Valentina's face tensed when she thought of Ivy. Val talked about how Ivy was back in high school. She didn't trust her, even then. 

"Look, Ivy wasn't even there when it happened," they'd driven to the hospital together and Val wished Dan had someone like Zoey in his life. Of course, Zoey and her husband Alfie took care of Angel. Zoey mentioned they tried a few times a month to give Dan and Ivy a date night.

Valentina was in a huff, she knew she needed to cool down. She didn't want to be ugly, but it felt inevitable. Dan needed to move on. 

"Maybe, they can work it out," Zoey knew there were troubles. They stopped by the coffee shop for a late lunch.

"So they do argue?" Val didn't know.

"Of course, not," Zoey said maybe they would feel better if they did argue. "I know Dan is quiet. He's always been that way. I mean, he was always studying. He was so kind. He'd help out if someone was having trouble reading or math. I always thought he'd be a professor."

"You're good at finding the best in people," Valentina told her.

Honestly, Val was ready for Chili's chili. Her stomach growled. It was cold outside, and the coffee shop was warm and inviting. 

Winter was still hanging on, and now this with Dan. His car was totaled. Someone ran into him. It was amazing he only got a bump on the head. The other person was OK. Still, this shook Valentina's nerves. She felt she should stand up for him.

The bowl of chili came and it was hot and spicy in a rich tomato sauce with kidney beans and hamburger, but there were bits of carrots and black olives, smothered in cheese and topped with green onion. She knew Matty would envy her so she asked for a to-go order.

"You know, Matty noticed Dan's old house is for sale again," Valentina said it had been flipped and was curb appealing. It was just down the street from where they lived.

"I can imagine it being expensive," Zoey sighed as she crunched on a carrot. She got a Wisconsin cheese soup and a salad.

"Maybe he could buy it back," Val knew Ivy's mom would probably help. "I just hope Ivy wakes up before it's too late. Doesn't she realize how everyone has helped her, but she doesn't seem to know how to help anyone, least of all Dan."

Finish what you start

 

"Well, the thing is, I feel we were just a practice run-through," Dan squints before he takes a shot at mid-court. He talks about his dinner with Alfie and Zoey. He hadn't meant to play basketball with anyone on the warm and sunny September day, but an old high school friend that he hadn't seen in ages showed up. Ollie who just moved into the building.

"Like a rehearsal?" Ollie winks back in the sun as he catches the ball that just bounced off the rim. Dan can see his friend needs practice. They are both not on their game. But here they are in their comfortable attire for some one on one.

"You remember Zoey?" Dan wants to know.

"I don't think so," Ollie reminds him they didn't exactly hang in the same circle. "I wasn't exactly the model student you were."

Dan chuckles, oh if he could only get those days back. He really did enjoy studying. "And you're with Ivy now?" Ollie smiles as if he doesn't really envy him at all. He's heard the stories. "You were older, you know."

"I'm not that much older?" He tilts his head realizing their connection. Valentina. Ollie used to live in the same Foster home with her. "Besides, you knew my little sister before I did."

Ollie smiles. "Have you seen her lately?"

"Oh, yeah, she's doing great with Matty. They have a baby boy," Dan smiles about the matter. 

"Good for her," Ollie almost smiles. "I should have expected that." He nods and throws the ball to Dan as if he's not much up for a game. Dan dribbles, meanwhile. "I'm just a weekend Dad now." 

Ollie shoves his hands in the pockets of pants. "I've been staying at Mom and Dad's this summer. I got on a Home Depot. At least, I finally moved out."  Still, he admits it was hard finding a job where he wasn't working on weekends. He's a teacher's aid now and going to school, hoping to be a teacher soon. "I  just never thought it would end this way." Ollie shrugs. 

"But then you never married," Dan says, but wishes he was married. Although, Ivy won't go for that.

"Maybe there will be someone," Ollie tells him not to give up.

"But I can't give up on Ivy, either." Dan is certain he's not going anywhere and neither is Ivy. 

"Yeah, I felt that way too," Ollie tells him, "but look where I am now? A girl Dad who only sees Carrie on the weekends. I mean, I really try to be positive about her mother, but it feels we are more distant now, even if I wanted to go the distance."

Just call my name and I'll be there

 

A lot of things had been a long time coming. Matty and Valentina finally got their own place even if it was on the small side, yet it was plenty for the three of them. Of course, when his adopted older brother Sunny showed up, he couldn't help but ask, "Why couldn't you have showed up weeks ago?"

It would have been great to have the help with the move. He didn't mean to be disgruntled about it, but ever since Sunny moved back, he never saw him.

"Oh, things were good with Lizzy and me, then," He shrugged about the matter. He came over when Valentina was out with Rosie (Sunny's first love who now had a baby with her husband Chance). Thankfully, Rosie had found a good fulltime job for Valentina and they were now co-workers at the Child Care Center on base. Matty was doing maintenance for the City. Most of his days were mowing. But occasionally he got to crawl through small spaces to put in cameras to watch ballot boxes.

Matty was certain his job was beneath Sunny, but then again he thought Lizzy might have something to do with his thinking.

"And it's not so good now?" Matty knew Sunny might need him for something, but Sunny went to the toddler who was crawling about and climbing the couch. Foster was quite active. But he was happy that he was getting to know more children his own age, and it wasn't such a strain on Val's mother who still had her hands full with her brother's son, Angel.

"I moved out," Sunny decided it was time. "I hate to give up," he sighed. He'd given his relationship with Lizzy a whole year, but it had always been rocky. He said she was quite the drama queen.

Matty just smiled. Oh, he remembered how Valentina used to have squabbles with her, too. "Was she always like that?" But they'd lost touch and Valentina was on Rosie's side these days.

Sunny sighed and shook his head. He focused on playing with Foster who took to him as if he was really family.

"What are you doing now?" Matty asked if he'd seen their dads lately.

"Designing kitchens," he winced as if he didn't like it, but it was work. He was working on blueprints with some of the apartments being built, but he worked at a local place too. "But I moved in here." He'd been here at the apartments all along.

Matty was shocked. "Why do you have to be such a mystery?" Matty squinted. They used to be so close growing up. 

"I dunno," he was even-lipped. "I'm such a failure."

"What?" Matty didn't believe that. "You were a good brother. And then you left for the University in Chicago," Matty remembered. "What changed you?"

"Well, look at you?" Sunny squinted back and put the little toddler in his lap. "Married I suppose?"

Matty nodded. They hadn't made a big deal about it. 

"See, you're not telling me everything, either," Sunny told him. 

Matty pressed his lips tight. "We didn't want our parents to spend any money on us," Matty said they'd done so much with Foster.

"Let's do lunch on Sundays," Sunny said. "At my place."

Matty's smile was open. He knew Valentina would appreciate that and so would he.

Cozy on a winter's day

 

Valentina couldn't stop smiling. She was elated seeing Matty with the baby. Of course, it wasn't like she was completely resting. She was certain now she might never sleep a night through. She couldn't help but check on Foster every few minutes even when he was asleep on his back in his crib.

"Nobody's said why we named him Foster," Val said to Matty who remained unchanged as he smiled at the plump baby who curled his fingers around Matty's.

"Well, we can't forget we both were foster kids," he said. "I would never want Foster to go through it, but still I'm glad we both had amazing foster parents." He looked a little sad. 

"Foster was really the last name I was thinking, you know." She remembered how they were looking at old names like Ned and Noah.

"I'm glad you weren't mad at me," he finally smiled at her. "But as soon as I saw him, I knew I wanted him to be Foster."

She understood. She felt they were together on this. Yes, maybe too much together, but she liked it that way. She thought of her brother Dan who was at the hospital with them. He was there for the birth of their baby. After all, he was a nurse.

She touched her forehead, thinking that was not the way she wanted her biological brother to see her, at her worst. After all, she kept squeezing Matty's hand. At times, she wanted to pull his hair, but she wasn't that awful. She winced wondering what Dan thought now. Of course, she was happy everything went well. It still made her laugh when the doctor told her she could have a lot more kids. She was certain this was enough. Especially, for right now. 

Of course, there was this semester to think about. She would take one college class and it was online. Hopefully, she wasn't asking for too much.

Steve didn't know if he could take another sentence from Alfie and his chaotic holiday. He sighed. Was it always this way? Alfie talked so much about himself.

"Look, we have a baby now," Steve hated to be the barrier of bad news, but he didn't think they could hang out anymore. "You can't just come when..when you feel like it. We're very busy."

"I know. I get that." Alfie looked a little bug-eyed. "But..but I still need to hear from you."

Steve laughed at that as he picked up a crying True from her crib. Really, she wasn't that fussy, but Steve could even tell True might not be that crazy about Alfie, either.

"Oh really," Steve looked at him blankly. "All you've done since you got here was talk about yourself."

He didn't even bring disposable diapers. It was the least he could do, but Steve knew it was not on Alfie's radar. He didn't mean to ask, but this was getting old with his college friend. Things had changed.

"Got it." Alfie was even-lipped as if he'd take note. "How does it really feel to be a dad?"

"A little intoxicating," Steve smiled. "In a very good way." He told Alfie that he loved Victoria even more. "You know, in a deeper way that..that I've never experienced before."

"Oh," Alfie nodded as if he understood, but Steve knew he couldn't have an inkling about this sort of thing. 

"Maybe you'll experience it yourself one day," Steve told him. Alfie only laughed at him.

"Oh, you really are a fool," Steve smiled back. "It really isn't love  until you give it away."

Alfie couldn't respond. He shoved his hands into his hoodie as if he'd had too much of this. 

"I'm going to see if Victoria made that coffee she promised," Alfie said. He was quiet then. Steve sighed. He knew he couldn't turn his friend away, but he hoped something good happened to Alfie this year and he'd know where Steve was coming from.

He put the baby up to his shoulder. She burped like she might be an old sailor then. He smiled. She pushed her head up like a little turtle seeing the world for the first time out of her shell and she drooled on him. Of course, this only delighted Steve.

You're not afraid of people passing by or even the past

 "Oh, it was a party all right," the way Simon said it. It was as if he'd delivered the baby right there at the party, but Victoria only had contractions and rang in the new year at the hospital with a baby girl. Naturally, Steve was right by her side.

"Yeah, and we're still all friends," Chevy smiled back. After all, they were honorary uncles to baby True. "Who would have thunk it?" 

Simon knew Chevy had been waiting for this day. Yes, Simon took his time ever wanting to speak to his ex again. But maybe it was all Chevy and Mick's doing. But then again he'd been in full-throttle mode with his startup company of fixing old houses and selling them to first-time buyers. He didn't have time for this kind of thing. And then they had their New Year's Party which included far too many people. But Melissa and Rylie were there and so were Brandon and Declan. It was a good time for all.

Of course, when they did get to the hospital, they found out about Matty and Valentina's arrival. It was definitely a big night for babies on New Year's. They had a baby boy and his name was Foster and he was huge. Chevy said he looked already a month old. "How did she even have it?"

But all was well and Simon was happy they could be there for the party. He knew his brother Xander was elated to be a grandpa. Yes, 2023 was looking good. Although, it was still cold. Not exactly the kind of weather you could enjoy the Christmas lights in. However, there had been a nice warming trend for a day or so when it got back up to warmer temps. Still not enough for Simon.

If he could he would say to Chevy, "Let's go to Miami!" But he was still busy and it was best to keep working. 

Really, it was the last person Yuki expected to meet at Chevy and Simon's party, but she got to catch up with Melissa. Emily was there with her and it was still an adjustment with the broken arm, but things were getting better.

"How did that happen?" Melissa wanted to know. Rylie was concerned too. She said she'd heard Brandon talk about it. Honestly, Yuki wanted to keep this all low-key, but suddenly it felt like she had some real friends around her. She didn't know what to say. But it was a good feeling. It was as if she felt she could talk with ease. No longer stuck, waiting for someone to tell her what she could and couldn't talk about.

There was Emily too who made Christmas feel real with a tree, Christmas lights, and of course cozy treats, and a marathon of all of Yuki's favorite Christmas movies. Yet, the holidays just got better. Going out, meeting up with Brandon and Declan, and now Melissa and Rylie. Truly, she hadn't thought January would be giving her so much to look forward to. And she was even getting holiday pay at work.

Thanksgiving is coming

 Joon overheard Poppy telling Niah she wished she had a friend of her mom's to talk to. Joon felt sad about it. That night they'd stayed up talking to the point that he had to call in sick.

Oh, he guessed Bom thought he and Poppy were moving in together, but both of them had quite a bit of baggage to bring along too. It was best to not rush into anything. He knew Poppy was still quite shell-shocked from her previous relationship. It seemed she'd put up with a lot with Alfie that not even her Dad knew about.

Alfie tried to go for a lot of drunk drives, it seemed, but somehow she always stopped him. And that wasn't very pretty either. He felt she'd been a hostage in her own home, just trying to keep him from going off the deep end. And it continually happened.

"Why didn't you tell anymore?" He didn't want her to ever have to go through anything like that again. If anything, he was someone who could understand. He knew she deserved better. And he did want to make things better.

Of course, Niah knew she spent the night that started everything. Only, in Niah's eyes, it was as if he'd already married Poppy. Before he could stop her she was telling Bom and anyone else who would listen that he was with Poppy now, he found himself having to answer a lot of questions. 

He'd tried to explain it to Bom but she said he didn't have to explain anything. After all, Thanksgiving was coming. Would Poppy be there for Thanksgiving? He couldn't tell her anything for sure.

"I think we're spending it with her Aunt." He told her. It was the right thing to do. He didn't want Poppy seeing her Aunt alone. Perhaps if he and Niah could entertain her enough maybe Poppy could find that friend of her mom's that she needed to know who her mother was.

Dan carried baby Angel about as if he might be walking in his sleep. At least the baby slept sound. He handed the baby off to Matty as if he needed to get used to infants. Ivy only watched. Perhaps a little sullen. She didn't like the baby's name, but it was too late to say anything about it. She thought they'd settled on Ethan. She'd always wanted an Ethan.

Of course, Dan sweet-talked her into saying, "But he looks like an Angel." And his dad's name was Angel. Of course, it was all a bit of Spanish to her. She didn't even know the language. It felt like a lie. Dan had been adopted into Hispanic culture. They'd always treated him as one of his own. It was practically his first language.

Sometimes, Dan and Valentina conversed in a native language they weren't even native to. But usually, they thought they were alone. Ivy was certain they were just sharing secrets. 

It wasn't long until Matty passed the baby to Val. They both smiled. Ivy did her best to smile, but she was tired and practically under the weather. It had been a miracle she serviced the whole ordeal. After all, she'd decided she would not have any more babies. So it was a permanent choice now. Maybe that was why she didn't feel so well.

"They're having a big Thanksgiving at Minnie and Josh's," Dan said to Ivy. Although, they were staying home. Bom would bring them food.

"Oh, we aren't going anywhere, either," Matty spoke up. "We first thought we'd go to my family's, but we think it's best to be in a small crowd."

"Yeah, maybe we'll make it a mini-Thanksgiving," Val said they were opting for Chicken breasts this year. Besides Matty was working in the wee hours that night to get ready for Black Friday.

"Sounds good to me," Dan smiled back. Ivy didn't even care. Actually, she didn't know what day it was nor even the time.

"Oh, we'll be all right," Yuki said to Brandon. She was going solo these days even if she was still with Remi.  Having Friendsgiving at Brandon and Declan's was enough.

"But we missed out on Halloween with you," Brandon sounded as if he needed to make it up to her. Of course, he had a fresh pumpkin pie along with stuffing and turkey to send her home with. Remi was still at work.

"It's fine." She did her best to smile. Somehow, Yuki had managed to make fudge with store-bought icing and peanut butter. Honestly, she had no time to cook.

 Remi got word that Brandon's friend Riley was with Melissa (Remi's ex-roommate with benefits) now. They didn't see Brandon and Declan that much anymore because Remi was angry about it. Although, she told Brandon it was just work. But they needed work to make ends meet.

Yuki had moved on to being a receptionist at a senior living place. It was right across from the memory unit where Remi worked. Really, everything was fine. Although, she wished Remi wasn't so angry. It was a quiet anger. It was as if she didn't want to talk about anything anymore with Yuki. She knew Brandon wouldn't want to hear about that.

"But she's mad at me," he knew. "What did I do that was so wrong?"

"It's not you." Yuki did her best to smile back. "Not every relationship is perfect, you know."

Brandon sighed. "But are you really happy?"

"Of course, I am." Still, she wondered if she would lose Remi in the end. It wasn't that she was drinking again. But sometimes, Yuki felt she was the least important person to her. And the holidays were coming. Although, Yuki wasn't sure she could fake being happy much more.

What the world needs now

 "So, we're all friends now," Brick still couldn't believe it. There was only Matty to tell this to as they were sending prices to the sky with their price gun at the grocery store. "How is that possible?" Brick wanted to know. Harley wanted them to do something with Izzy and Link this weekend. It was like his world was turned upside down. Izzy was his ex. Didn't Matty remember?

"Oh, just go with it," Matty told him. "You'll be fine." He clicked his gun on the boxes of cereal.

Brick only sighed as if he might be the worst. "I like Link enough..but..but to have to be around Izzy." He winced hard, thinking of all the things she'd said to him that one time when he wouldn't do what she wanted. Of course, it made him sick to his stomach that he guessed she was getting what she wanted from Link. But still..

"Don't overthink it," Matty said as if he could read his mind. "You guys are in the  friend zone." He talked about how he and Valentina had been friends with someone that was now Val's enemy. He was not to speak of Lizzy ever again after Rosie's wedding fiasco. "We aren't even seeing Rosie and Chance anymore." He sounded a bit down about it.

"Well, why don't you guys come to Harley's then?" Brick didn't want Matty to feel left out.

"That's OK. Valentina just likes staying home these days." Matty looked at him as if Brick was too young to understand and didn't need to.

"Oh." Brick nodded.

"Some foods don't agree with Val," Matty said about her pregnancy. "I mean, she was off to such a good start. Like nothing bothered her. Then her mom cooked Italian sausage one night and it was awful. Just the smell made her sick. So, she feels safer at home. She just works at the bakery in the early morning shift. She's home by noon."

Brick guessed he should enjoy all this togetherness, but it was awkward as hell.

But now it makes you so upset

 Dan was relieved that Valentina was doing well. Yes, he was happy for her and Matty. He just wished he could think that way about himself and Ivy. Oh, it felt forever that she was pregnant. True, she'd been in and out of the hospital with her blood pressure. Still, she was being watched very carefully. He even took her blood pressure readings at home too. Although, he didn't know if it were enough.

Thankfully, there was Jory to play some basketball with. He hadn't budged. Dan was certain by now he would have gotten a house in the burbs by now.

"You know how hard it is to buy a house in this city?" Jory informed him. Houses went fast. And you had to be able to make a bet on it to win it. "God, if I'd only gotten a house when I got here." He said he'd wanted to, but then Poppy came along and he thought he should wait.

"I dunno what I was waiting for, actually," Jory confessed as he made some fast moves dribbling and went in for a layup. He sighed. "She's really something, you know."

"What?" Dan didn't know if Jory was wishing he'd stayed with Poppy now or not.

"Don't worry, I'd never leave Rachel," Jory smiled. "I love her and well, I know she puts up with a lot. It's just I wish I'd gotten us a house. I know her parents are expecting it. It just won't happen this year." He plunged the ball to Dan and almost got him in the gut. It was a bit of a wake-up call.

"So what's up with you and Ivy?" Jory wanted to know.

"Oh, you know, she's just taking it easy," he didn't want to think about what might happen when she had the baby. It was a boy. It was possible she might have a stroke when the baby was born. Honestly, he was sure it was all his fault. Somehow. It had never been like this with her other two kids.

"You look..I dunno. Frightened about something," Jory told him.

Dan nodded. "You might be right. I know I look like nothing would ever bother me, but a lot of stuff does."

"Well, you are happy, aren't you?" Jory looked at him blankly.

Dan winced. He'd never thought about that. Ivy was always on his mind. 

"Am I?"

"I think you're depressed," Jory wanted the ball back because evidently, Dan wasn't going to take a shot. "I'm not saying you need to be medicated. But you should at least get checked out."

Dan nodded with a sigh. He finally took a shot, but it bounced off the rim and went right to Jory who wasted no time to take a shot which of course, went in.

the world keeps spinning

 

Valentina didn't know if she deserved a celebration, but Brick and Lily seemed to think so. As it was, she didn't even know if she could last at the park. It was too freaking hot.

"I wanted to tell you something," she said to Matty before they left. After all, he was driving now. "I wanted to be honest."

"About what?" He looked at her a bit puzzled.

"Well..from before." She squeezed her eyes shut. "I should have told you." She wanted him to know he wasn't the first time. She'd been with Robbie. She really didn't want to think about him. It was not something she wanted to dwell on. It just shouldn't have happened. Valentina decided now. She never wanted to speak of it. Especially, since he was now her step-brother.

"Let's not think about it right now," Matty told her as he buckled her in. "We've got a party. We have plenty to be happy about." After all, he'd moved in. Their families were going to let them be together. It was going to be a good year. He kept telling her this.

She did believe him. They'd come this far. Her clothes were starting to get tight, but she hadn't stopped wearing what was in her closet. Most nights she wore one of his tees to bed. Of course, it still felt like her room, not their room. At least they had a double bed. She knew she couldn't ask for much. 

And she couldn't help but smile. Nothing seemed to phase Matty.

"What?" He wanted to know as he drove to the park to meet up with their friends.

"Oh, I don't know, I guess I'm feeling ..it's a good year in spite of so many things going wrong," Valentina smiled. 

Mercer was at the park with Brooklyn. They'd brought cupcakes and lemonade. Of course, it was store-bought. He knew she was pretty messy in the kitchen. They'd made brownie waffles once and most of the batter had landed on their feet. He still thought that was funny. Yes, she was clearly a funny girl. 

It had been a good summer. Going places with her. Well, her folks drove them around, but they'd been horseback riding, walking around in the old market checking out old bookstores and record places. Maybe it wasn't much to some, but they liked old eighties tunes. She even had a collection of 45's from her grandpa that he'd started in the fifties. It was a good thing she didn't want to play those because they would have probably been broken by now. Brooklyn was a little accident-prone.

Truth be told she did have a bit of an eye-sight problem, but it wasn't a problem to Mercer. After all, they liked listening to music and sometimes they danced. He guessed they were pretty silly, but she usually took his mind off the serious side of epilepsy. Mercer hadn't had another episode since the one he had at the library.

Of course, no one would believe him but it was purely platonic, his relationship with Brooklyn. And he wasn't going to explain it. He just needed Brooklyn in his life. She hadn't had an episode in years. Whatever she was doing, well he wanted to do that too. And maybe laughing along helped the most. 

But he hadn't had a real conversation with Cade since the library incident. Mercer didn't know what it was, but he just wasn't going to let Cade bring him down. It didn't help any that Cade was at the library. Mercer had done his best not to talk to him. And now Cade was a clerk. Mercer was still a shelver. Yes, he did envy, Cade. 

So what if he'd helped out in the book sale room for a month or two. A part of Mercer felt he should have gotten the clerk position. After all, he knew his Dewey decimal system. He didn't want to be mad at Cade, but he just couldn't help it. And then as everyone started to mingle at their little potluck before going for a swim at the swimming pool, there was Cade and he wasn't alone.

He was with a girl. 

"Who's that?" Brooklyn asked.

"I don't know," Mercer shrugged back. 

Cade and the tawny girl were carrying buckets of chicken and cold salads. She stood tall as if she was someone who knew something about leadership, unlike Cade who was sometimes a waste of space. Mercer didn't know why he was so mad at him. Maybe it was because Cade never had to try hard at anything. The pretty ones always seemed to find him. 

Her name was Maisie and Mercer knew he was immediately afraid of her. He practically hid behind Brooklyn. 

"I think Brick set them up. She just got on at the deli," Brooklyn had chatted with Lily to find out. Obviously. Lily knew everyone. This baffled Mercer, but she was even friends with Izzy who showed up with Link who came in from Lincoln.

I don't wanna talk about the way that it was

 Matty's heart raced. He was still ready for bad news. Something awful must have happened. Val was given some fluids in her arm. She looked so out of it, yet he held on to her hand as if it were a lifeline of some kind.

And then they told him she was going to have a baby. According, to the emergency room test she'd been pregnant for some time now.

"Really?" He couldn't help to be surprised. Actually, shocked. But she was asleep so she didn't hear what the doctor said. "She needs to be hydrated and eat properly."

"Of course." Matty nodded. He didn't want to bring up what the clinic had said about her condition. Evidently, there had been a mix-up. And as soon as her mother overheard the news she called the place to find out what was going on.

Something, about the computers, about her appointment that day in May. Of course, even now they had no record of Valentina ever having an appointment. It was a cruel mixup that baffled Matty.

He listened to her mother, practically livid about what they'd said and what they'd put her daughter through.

Yes, this was good news. Although, it was still giving Matty the jitters. THEY WERE HAVING A BABY. This was great. It was going to be great, he kept telling himself not to think too far ahead. Just feel the bliss of right now. 

He wasn't sure exactly how to face her mother. Maybe there was nothing to be said. They would just somehow get through it. And be thankful all was in the clear with Valentina's health. After all, she was in good health and the baby was growing well.

When Valentina finally awoke, she was certain her mother was mad.

"It's fine," Matty told her. "It's gonna be fine."

"What are you doing here?" She did her best to lift her head from the pillow.

"There was a mix-up," He told her. "You are pregnant. The baby's due in December."

"Are you sure?" She squeezed his hand. Matty made an effort not to let her know just how much it hurt. Still, he wondered if this was a sign to tell him how she would be when December arrived. He nodded with a smile. This was their DO OVER. Evidently.

in another lonely world

 It felt like a lazy summer. Still, Valentina didn't want to go back to the doctor. They would want her to do something. 

"Well, I think you should go to a different doctor," Matty and even her mother had said. But Valentina kept putting it off. She didn't want to hear any more bad news. At the moment, she felt as if she might as well have been Joan of Arc. Yeah, she was pretty much Saint material this summer. If there was such a thing.

"What? You're not having sex?" Even Rosie thought that was impossible. It was hard being her friend. They were certainly not on the same playing field. Rosie had no worries. Instead, she'd invite them over ever so often to have dinner with her and Chance. 

Valentina felt she was slumming through the summer compared to Rosie and her cold salads and cookouts. Truly, Val didn't want to feel this way. She'd done her best to crochet and make her little sock creatures for the Bakery. There was a time when she'd given all the money to some cause, but not this year. It was for her.

Jools helped a little with the crocheting and the sock creatures. He'd been on standby in the past. Even he could tell how painstaking it was, getting back to crafting, for her. Of course, he had said, "This is what makes you happy."

"Does it?" She now asked. She'd gone along with him all smiles. After all, she didn't want him worrying about her. They'd crocheted a few baby blankets for Ivy and Dan's baby that was on the way. She really wanted to do things that she could feel this void with. But it was all so sad. She did her best not to think about herself.

Of course, she'd forgotten when she had her last period. It didn't seem to matter, she sensed it was something not to be alarmed about. Sure she talked to Matty daily over the phone. He would text practically every four hours. Maybe, he knew she was depressed too.

Sometimes, she'd forget to eat. She could hardly stand the smell of the bakery lately. No way would she eat nor drink anything there.

"Well, maybe it's COVID." Matty texted first thing about her not wanting to eat. She didn't think it was that. It couldn't be that.

So there she was staring at Rafe who looked like he should be happy and not so sad. Of course, she didn't have a thing to say that could cheer him up. She wanted to tell him not to worry about Lily.

And when he'd said back to her, "Another brother?" She thought of a candy bar for some reason. It made her almost laugh and then it hit her hard. Was Matty becoming that Another Brother? It was the last thing she thought of before she collapsed on the floor.

That's how it is

 Brick wasn't sure what to expect with Harley now. Granted, he knew he probably should have broken up with her the moment she kicked Cade in the eye, but he didn't. After all, he'd never broken up with a girl before (had he?) and it was so unexpected. He just wasn't sure how to react.

Of course, he got Harly out of the dance when it happened. It was the least he could do. He remembered grabbing her hand, running from the crowd and then turning to her to ask, "What has gotten into you?"

Naturally, she was in a fret but finally admitted. "He deserved it!"

"What did he do?" Brick still didn't know the whole story. Something about Cade faked being Rafe on a date with her. 

She'd been so upset and she cried so. All he could do was to take her home. 

Now there had been days of silence. He wanted to call, but he hadn't. He didn't dare speak of the incident with Matty. He knew Matty wouldn't put up with something like that. Of course, Matty was all quiet these days too. He guessed Matty and Valentina were still together. Matty didn't tell him anything anymore.

So there he was in the breakroom, pacing, thinking this was the worst place in the world to make a phone call. Anyone could come in, and hear him.

Suddenly, his phone rang right in his hand. It was Harley.

"Were you ever going to call me!" She was so demanding.

"Of course, I was." He told her he was off work. Maybe they could talk. "I can come over." Although, he didn't think being inside was a good idea. "Let's lets get ice cream."

Ten minutes later, he was in a tee and shorts at her doorstep. 

"What have you been doing?" She looked up at him as if he'd been in a marathon.

"I just ran." But he wasn't out of breath. He said something about being on the cross country team. This was good for him. He told her. Of course, she pulled him into the chilled house. No one was around. She went to get him some cold water.

It wasn't until he'd practically finished the glass before she asked if he was still mad at her.

Brick only sighed, and practically rolled his eyes. "I don't know what to think. It scares me."

"Scares you?" She scowled.

"What if you..you start kicking me?" He looked at her blankly. "I have a dad..who..who was always hurting my Mom. He broke my arm."

She only frowned as she turned away and hugged herself.

"I'm not like that." She wouldn't look at him.

"I hope not. You babysit children."

She blew a breath as if he was the one not making sense.

"If you've got anger issues, tell me?" Brick told her.

"I don't." Harley looked back at him. "It's just..nobody has ever hurt me, the way he did."

Brick nodded. "Well, don't ask me to beat him up. Because I won't."

Harley couldn't look him in the eye, but she hugged him anyway. Brick only grimaced. He really needed to get home. He was drenched in sweat.

Finding the magic in the madness

 Rosie was ready to have it out with Valentina, who didn't look like she was going through anything. She eyed her through the glass window at the bakery.

Why had Valentina wanted to give up her spot at Rosie's wedding? Rosie thought they were friends. Of course, the wedding had gone on in the park as planned. Although, Rosie thought she might lose it when she saw her old boyfriend Sunny there with Lizzy (Valentina's replacement).

"Oh, I..I guess I..forgot about that," Valentina said when Rosie finally mentioned it to her. Of course, Valentina brought her some chocolate gelato as a peace offering. It was quiet so they sat together at the back table in the sunny afternoon. "I'm sorry..I just had a lot on my mind."

"Why didn't you tell me Matty's brother was with her?" Yes, Rosie didn't mean to be in a sour mood, but Sunny was the last person she thought she'd ever see at her wedding. It wasn't like he kept in touch. "It's not like I hate her. It..it was so awkward."

"Is Chance OK?" Valentina wanted to know.

"Chance?" Rosie's eyes narrowed. He didn't know. It wasn't like she brought it up. She just ignored Sunny. Rosie sucked in a breath. "Of course, we are just fine."

"You didn't even have to get married," Valentina was being a downer as she cradled a glass of iced lemonade.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rosie wasn't sure who was madder at each other. "What did I do?"

"Everything is so perfect for you." Valentina remained even-lipped.

"Oh really?" Rosie squinted. "Do you think my dad came to my wedding? Of course, not." She sighed. There were so many she invited from her extended family and no one showed up but her aunt who helped with the wedding. 

"Sorry." Valentina looked away and nursed her bottom lip. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I know I should have. It's just..it's just life is complicated. And..and now I'm making it worse for Matty."

"Matty?" Rosie didn't know what was going on now. Was she supposed to apologize for introducing them? So long ago. She shook her head. "I just think how you and Robby used to be."

"Robby?" Valentina made a face of disgust. "You don't even know what you're talking about."

"Precisely," Rosie said as a friend. "You never really told me what was going on with you two. I just assumed it was perfect. Chance told me it wasn't, but you never talk about things like that. Not with me."

Valentina sighed. "I do envy you, Rosie."

"That's too big of a word," Rosie laughed. Sure they were both taking different paths. Rosie was to start at the university in the fall, but she really loved her full-time job at the daycare.

"I feel I have fallen into something worse than quicksand. I dunno if Matty and I will ever be the same again," Valentina said with sadness. "I used to go on and on..I was never going to have any kids, and now..I really want one." She nodded. "But I know that's a lot to ask from Matty."

as time goes by

Quite possibly, Matty didn't want to tell Brick a thing about what was up with Valentina, but of course, he couldn't help it. They were back to the isles of the grocery store. Ready with their price guns.

"So is she moving in with you?" Brick's question sounded so shocking.

"No." Matty shook his head. It wasn't that drastic. It was true, they were not going to discuss it anymore. "She's not going to summer school. She got her old job back at the bakery. And.. and she's happy."

This might not have been true, but she was going on with things. It wasn't like they were going to be sheltered on a secret island and be used for scientific purposes over the baby situation. It was just going to be summer in their hometown. And they were going to make the best of it.

Matty asked about Harley. He couldn't imagine tall towering Brick dancing the two-step with a petite girl like Harley, but he guessed it was possible.

"We went to a dance earlier this month with Grand Betty," he said. "It was fun. And we were both tired. We can't keep up with GB and her husband."

Matty just smiled as he kept busy with lowering prices on cake mixes while Brick was going through cans of blueberries and cherries to make sure nothing was outdated.

"You know, these are the best years of your life," Matty nodded with a smile.

"How can you say that?" Brick pulled a scowl as if he didn't believe him.

"Trust me, you have to enjoy every second of summer. It won't last forever." He'd hate for Brick to be in his shoes. He still couldn't say if it felt like a break-up even if they made up. It felt more like misery needing company, to him, but he wouldn't dare give Valentina up. He knew she needed him. But he didn't know if they could get through this. 

Being the brother, you need to be

 Dan didn't really have any advice for Matty or Valentina when she told him her troubles. What could he do? Nothing. He supposed. He hadn't wanted to be so silent, but there was nothing he could really say that might change their situation.

"It's not like it has to happen tomorrow," he thought he said, but maybe he didn't. God knows, what Ivy might have said about their situation. He didn't tell her. There just didn't seem to be a right answer. He wanted to say Val would get through this. Somehow. But he knew it wouldn't have been enough. He hated to see her so distraught. At least she had Matty to console her and Dan felt bad for him, too. 

What was he supposed to say? "Come stay with us?"

Oh, he'd left it alone. He was the silent type, after all. Finally, he dug around in his contacts and called Jools. Not that he wanted to, but maybe he'd know what to say to her.

"Did you know.." Dan started.

"What happened?" Jools wanted to know. He knew it was about Valentina. Why else would Dan bother to call him? So he told him what was going on with Valentina and Matty. 

"Why wouldn't she have called me?" Jools wanted to know then. And Dan assured him that she probably didn't want to bother him.

"But..but she's like a little sister I never had," Jools had probably been closer to her than Dan ever could. They could probably talk about anything. "Do you think they'll try to have a baby?"

"I dunno," Dan said he'd hate for them to feel as if they were under a microscope now, thinking the whole family was watching them. "I guess she was going to stay with Matty and his family."

"Oh," Jools said he'd call Valentina's mother and see how she was doing. "This is just so crazy you know." He thought they were too young to be married. 

"Yeah, I thought so too, but look at you," Dan tried to smile. "You're married."

Jools laughed. "And you're not."

"I know I should be," Dan confessed. "We..we just haven't gotten around to it."

"Well, it's not everybody's answer," Jools told him.

"Right." Dan thought this was true. He felt as if he couldn't have a religious wedding. After all, he'd been an altar boy. It would feel like a sin, somehow. Maybe he didn't deserve to get married.

"Well, keep in touch," Jools said. "We can both be there for Valentina. I know she is such a beautiful and talented person. I hope she won't feel, you know, that she's let any of us down."

Dan supposed Jools was right. He needed to be there for his little sister, but he might need Jool's help to teach him.

the twists and turns

 

How many weeks had they been here? Honestly, Rosie was afraid it would never feel like home, living at Casey's. It would always be his home. 

Granted, it was only a few days before the wedding which was going to be outside, near the University in the park. Her Aunt and Chance's mom had scouted out places that were within the budget. It would be a small affair.

Still, the house was an adjustment. It didn't feel right to Rosie. The wedding felt a million miles away. And then Valentina called. Something upsetting had happened. It looked like she couldn't be in the wedding.

"But why?" Rosie was in shock.

"I don't want to talk about it," Valentina said. "I just can't. I don't want to bring you down." She then mentioned Lizzy.

"I don't know her," Rosie practically snapped. 

"You do. You just don't remember." Valentina went down the line of all her friends of a friends. They had met once upon a time. "Remember the Farmer's Market. When she was with Liam?"

"Liam?" She winced. "I work with Emily, that Liam?" Of course, those two were busy after their honeymoon. 

"Before they got together." Valentina only sighed. "Lizzy loves weddings."

"What happened?" Rosie was back to trying to figure out Valentina and what happened. "Are you and Matty OK?"

"Just don't worry. I think Lizzy can do it." Valentina seemed obsessed with the idea. Of course, Rosie had only asked Valentina to be in her wedding. Rosie shook her head, but finally said, "OK."

Why did it feel to Rosie she'd suddenly taken a road she hadn't intended to? She remembered her Aunt trying to talk her out of a wedding. She was so young. Did she really want to get married yet?

Of course, she loved her Chance. No one would stop her. She wanted to be married. They loved each other. They were best friends. But this wedding, she just hoped she got through it. And she hoped they could make Casey's house a home. 

Before she knew it, she was on the phone with Katy. Could she be a bridesmaid at her wedding?

Here we are

 

Valentina felt so numb yet shattered. When the doctor first told her the news, she immediately blamed it all on Matty. Why was he doing this to her? Why!

Of course, there was some hyperventilating and she was certain they would put her in a hospital bed already. But they didn't. They didn't have any real answers for her. 

"You have time, the doctor said. You could have a child." She then pointed out that sometimes, this cancer went away. There was no need to immediately think she had to have a hysterectomy. But that was a possibility and cancer treatments too.

She was just blurry-eyed now. She thought of Rosie asking her months ago when she got her HPV. Val had no idea what she was talking about nor why they would even talk about it. Now she felt a little dumb, very naive. Why had Matty done this to her?

Sure, there were so many troubles in the world, irate warmongers, active shooters, and terrorized nations, but this was her little corner and she felt as if she was in just as much trouble. What was she going to do? Her stomach was in a tizzy. Would she ever be the same again?

Here Rosie was wanting her to be in a wedding. She shook her head. No way. She was supposed to be in the midst of summer classes. She'd made an effort to get her French classes out of the way. Oh, she wouldn't be comprehending French now. 

"You can let us know on your next appointment."

Valentina didn't want there to be a next appointment. A part of her felt her life was over before it got started. If she wanted to have a baby, she needed to do it now. She held on to her stomach. How did that make any sense?

Of course, she was in a wave of tears when Matty found her. She knew what he'd say, "You'll have to find someone else."

Granted he was seventeen. She was a good two years older. But he held her hand. He pulled her up. She thought he might want to find an empty room and  have sex right here. But no, he got her to the vending machines and they had a cup of coffee and a protein bar. 

"You looked hungry," he then nodded. She nodded back. 

"Try not to worry," he was even lipped as he pushed a lock of hair out of her face and behind her ear. 

"What are we going to do?" She looked at him for answers.

"We're going to talk to your mom and my two dads," he said that was a start. "They are all pretty level-headed. They aren't going to get in a shouting match."

She guessed he was right.

"You need your mom right now," he got out his phone. He asked if she wanted to talk to her brother Dan.

"No." She said immediately but then said. "Fine." After all, he was working at the hospital.

if that's not the end

 It was a dream. Matty kept telling himself this. Yet, it might as well have been a mystery he was solving with Sherlock Holmes.

"I know you want this," he'd said to his father Xander. Something he'd always wanted was a baby. And his adopted father had smiled back. After all, a gay couple has their ways of starting a family. They never had a girl, just fostering one orphan after the other. Matty was one of those they'd taken in. 

When Matty awoke he might as well have been climbing out of wet cement. He might be coming down with something. He swore the bed shook, but it was only his phone.

Of course, it was Valentina. He couldn't imagine why she would be calling him this early, but maybe he already knew.

It was not the breakup. He imagined. True, they were going strong. Throw in Prom, a wedding and summer too. They'd get to this other thing that needed to be fixed, sooner or later. 

"What's wrong?" He wanted to know. But didn't he already know? She was crying. He sat up thinking it was his fault, whatever it might be.

"You need to get checked out." She blurted.

Matty's eyes were now in full focus. What could that mean?

"Huh?"

She went on about having some kind of cancer. She wanted to make sure he was OK. Had he been vaccinated in middle school for HPV?

"Where are you?" He needed to get dressed. 

"It's OK." Her voice kind of settled.  "It might be nothing. It could go away." She said she could still have a baby.

"What?" He winced hard. These were such adult matters. What was she going on about?