should I go or should I stay

Dear Diary,

Not sure if Cory got the idea about Kyle. They talked long enough. Cory left sometime after the movie. Although, they still had a lot to talk about. Video games, music. They pretty much like the same kind of stuff. Then Cory left to walk home in the dark.

You don't know how badly I wanted to call out, "Call me, when you get home." You'd think I was some-body's mother, and I'm not. I don't even know how far Cory actually lives from my house.

And well, Kyle stayed later. We hung out in my room a bit, but it was nothing nearly as exciting I'm sure as what goes on with Lisa and Geo. I don't even want to know. Actually.

We saw dad for a bit. He mainly keeps to himself in his room, watching TV. I guess he's OK. At least he didn't look drunk nor smelled drunk so I think he's OK.

Kyle talked to him. I don't think Dad would have said anything. It was kind of awkward, but then Kyle doesn't make anything awkward even if it is awkward.

And then he kissed me. Kyle not Dad.

I'm getting use to him in a good way. Not like, "Oh, here we go again.." like some song and dance and then we're done. Thank God its not like.

But I know he kisses with his eyes closed a lot when we kiss, and I suppose I should too, but then I thought, "Is he thinking about Kelsey? Is he really over Kelsey?" Well, at least he didn't say her name or anything.

And yeah, I thinking way too much about him thinking about Kelsey. Because, what if he's not? What if its me, trying to find one more excuse why this won't work. Because deep down, there is this natural rhythm of things. And its there. Something you could really get use to and wouldn't want to go away.

And I have to stop dwelling on all these other things, and just go with it, you know. Yeah, go with it. I hope that's the right thing to do.

Later,
L