I get this feeling and other notes

OK how it used to be with Leia

1. before I met her, I just knew her as this girl who dated senior guys for the most part. that was our freshman year and she was so confident and seemed to know what she wanted and was in everything. I think she even made JV cheerleader.

2. that's when I got to know her, last year. Not a cheerleader. No senior guys. But she still had that confidence. You know, she knew what she wanted. Who she wanted. And yeah, I got to know this person who wanted someone to always be there for her. Usually, some guy with a car. Then there was Nick. And I assumed he was the answer to her everything. It looked that way.

3. did she ever love him? I don't know, its like I have my own ideas how other people probably are. Usually, its the benefit of the doubt kind of thing. You know, you genuinely think they are happy. But maybe they're not.

4. then the whole mess with Nick and what he went through "the rape" charge even if it was "consensual". It might have hurt Leia worse than him. I can see that now. I can see no one really thought of him that way. The bad guy. I'm not saying its been easy for him. I mean, he's changed. he keeps to himself more as in not seeing him around outside of school with anyone. he just has his little conversations, out in the open. and he works at the library.

5. I just don't see Leia picking her self up. Maybe she's not as independent as she's always lead me to believe. I just don't want us to have it out, you know. but its this feeling I get when I'm around her. Sometimes, I don't think she likes me at all, anymore.