Tuesday, August 4, 2009

in the doldrums

Nick couldn't decide if he were adjusting or not. Why did he have to get these questions from home in an e-mail.

Honestly, he was probably a better actor than anyone would ever know. Even with Kelsey. He guessed. Although, he felt really good about their relationship. Because he really played the part well and everyone looked up to them as that was the couple to be. After all, all they really ever were were friends who did things together. And maybe that's what she really adored about him. Maybe that's what people saw when they were in public.

OK, so maybe he could have gone on with things with Kelsey. Really, not a lot had changed. He was the boyfriend. Always there for her. Its just now he didn't have to listen to her endlessly. Actually, he didn't have anyone to listen too.

He was keeping to himself. Maybe he was depressed. But he didn't feel really depressed. Honestly, he hadn't been happy in a very long time. That had been the state of things since Leia.

Not in a million years did he ever think it would end that way. Especially, since it was never that great to begin with. It had been mind-boggling. He always felt he was between a rock and a hard place with her. She was always rather demanding. And he knew it wasn't his fault. He knew it, and yet he was the one up for the rape charge when she decided if he wasn't going to be with her anymore, she'd let him have it.

Of course, it hadn't turned out all that devastating. It was nice to know people were on his side about that incident. It was just history now. And when Ellie told him what had happened to Leia, there was just this dull realization to him. She was a train-wreck waiting to happen.

What could he have said to Ellie? "I'm sorry, but I don't care." Nothing emotional about it. Nothing.

He felt nothing now and yet was more anti-social than ever before. A house full a people, and he stayed in his room just to see how long he could get by without spending a dime.

Nick slept a lot. He read some. Basically, he lived for his old video games. He got a kick out of his old Mario Brothers and The legend of Zelda. He was so old school. Maybe he was becoming an old man right before his eyes.

But by six each day, Ellie would knock on his door. "Have you eaten today?" she'd ask.

Nick would just smile. "Sure I have." He'd lie. Then he'd have to sit with them. Act as if he was OK. Hoping no one would notice he wasn't. Of course, that was really nothing new to him.

8 comments:

Cait said...

I think Nick really is depressed. Hope somebody will help.

Sharon Rose said...

Hi there-poor Nick, I hope he can sort himself out.

em said...

I feel for Nick. I just hope things will get better with him, he needs help.

Sydney said...

I get a kick out of super Mario kart etc. I like that ellie checks up on him

the oaks said...

I didn't know Nick was like that.

simon n josh said...

aw..I think he's hiding something we don't know about.

past the point said...

I wonder what's really on his mind.

taffy. said...

oh, nick.