it doesn't matter

Hate was such a harsh word. Olivia never used it. It was not in her vocabulary. She didn't want to think she might feel that way about Syd. Of course, there were no qualms about it when it came to Liz. She really hated Liz.

Liz would not eat with them. She stayed to herself, mostly. Luckily, Olivia never saw her. Liz lived on a diet of avocados, chips and strawberries. Olivia didn't like how she snubbed whatever Olivia made. She acted like she could make it better. Or, her little answer to everything, "You know, that's not good for you."

Olivia kept quite. She never said anything to Liz. Perhaps the feeling was mutual. Occasionally, Liz spent time with Ravi in his room. She could only hope Liz wasn't messing around with him. Supposedly, it was just video games they played, and Liz would show him a few of her moves on how to kill a perpetrator. You'd think, she came right off a crime show. Why in the world isn't she a cop? Thought Olivia.

Honestly, nothing had been the same since Ellie and Lon left. Ravi was not Nick, either. He hadn't had a date in forever. And he always looked as if he were walking in his sleep, lately. What had gotten into him? Was this all Liz's doing? What was going on?

"Nothing." Ravi assured her. At this point he was a little scared of Olivia, as if she might be on a witch hunt.

"I like you, Ravi. I do." But after she said that, she had to wonder if he thought she was coming on to him because he avoided her like the plague now.

And now she was a nervous wreck, having to spend time with Syd.

"You're going to be fine." Roger told her.

"She doesn't like me." Olivia felt as if she'd been pushed into this friendship. She couldn't not like Eric's new girlfriend. And now that Olivia found out Syd was having his baby, it really hit home. Eric thought Olivia was handicapped. Evidently. Well, not quite right. Just pathetic. That was it. Too pathetic and he'd only liked her because he felt sorry for her. Something like that. She made her self sick thinking she was not normal. She knew she wasn't. But this was just different. And if she wasn't normal well, no wonder Roger was with her because he obviously had a lose screw too. He was suppose to be gay, wasn't he? So the bitterness just bled through her veins. Roger would leave her one day. Everyone always left her. Just not today.

Roger was doing his best to console her.

"She doesn't even know you. All right." She knew Roger wanted her to snap out of it. And she had to, in the next minute or two, because Eric and Syd were here.

"Hi!" She was like the Swiss Miss girl off the hot chocolate box. Olivia was in braids and looked like she might be from a fairy tale.

"I am so famished." Syd told her. She gave her a hug and was anxious to try the vegetable stir-fry with noodles. Eric stayed to eat, but he left about 15 minutes later. He was afraid he'd be late for work. He thanked Olivia for everything.

"You're amazing," he told her, but she didn't believe him. Not really.

So Syd helped with the dishes, and she asked Olivia about which were the best thrift shops and what did she think she should be looking for.

"I mean, I'm not that far along yet." Syd said. "You think, I could just get by on extra large stuff or something?"

"Maybe." Olivia felt closed lipped about all this. "Have you tried men's clothing. I'm sure you could make do forever with some of Eric's dress shirts."

Syd just smiled, telling Olivia she was so glad she thought of that.

Finally, Syd's cell rang. She picked up, and Olivia watched. She saw Syd's smile sour. Before she knew it she was crying. So badly. It was shocking. Olivia wasn't sure what had happened. It was so surreal, like something from a horror movie. Something bad had happened.