picture this

Liz kept picturing the moment in her head, long after it happened. How it happened with Ravi. The kiss. His lips. She touched her lips with her finger tips now. She winced then, thinking she was the worst person in the world. She'd let him. How dare she. It wasn't like her to be so tempted. Especially, with her sister's ex.

She tried to laugh it off as she went and cleaned up the kitchen just to be doing something in the apartment. She'd never ever kiss Stan  (Her sister's other boyfriend that she was back with again). There was never a chance of that happening. But now she was just too close to Ravi. And she couldn't let herself fall for him. It would be wrong. It wouldn't be right.

1. He was her sister's ex.
2. He was a good three or four years younger than she was, wasn't he?

Not that she'd noticed. Besides, they were going to be friends. Only they were getting too friendly. She didn't fall for friends. Hell, she never fell for anyone.

How had he done it? She wanted to say it was all Ravi's fault. Putting her in this position. But it was her own damn fault. God, what a jerk, she thought. She was the jerk. Not him. And now she'd been down right hostile to him. Well, it was for his own good. It was. She was a monster. She knew. People she worked with knew it. She was.

But now a bit of  her heart ached. She wanted him. Just one time, it would be so amazing to be with someone she really had feelings for. Why was she like this?

Warm tears almost escaped her eyes. But she never cried. What was happening to her?

She wanted to picture Ravi's face. His sweet eyes. Those amazing lips. She felt so awful about this. She did. She was losing it. She was weak. Liz began to heave in her chest, and there was no where to go in these four walls. The bathroom wasn't much.

Of course, she got herself together. She'd tossed Syd's cell phone battery at work and she'd tossed the phone to be reused for people who needed emergency phones at the library. There was no way this guy (Syd showed her Kip's picture) who was bothering Syd was gonna track her down, if she had anything to do with it.

Yes, this was where her mind should be. She could be the best damn big sister anybody could want. And she would be as soon as she got over this crap with Ravi. He'd be better off without her. The sooner he figured this out. The better.

But then, someone knocked at the front door.

Liz hoped her mascara wasn't running. It was probably Eric, to check up on something stupid. Probably afraid she'd burned his apartment down by now. She'd only been here practically a day or two. But all the stuff of his was gone. Taken down. Nothing of his around. Not even Syd's. She'd taken the cat to Roger's.

Liz opened the door thinking it was him. But it wasn't. It wasn't Eric. It was someone else.

Liz almost freaked. Where was her game face? What about her pepper spray? What in the hell was she going to say? A shiver ran through her. Was he who she was expecting all along? Kip. That guy who had made Syd cry. The stalker. Perhaps. Well, she'd meet him head on.

"May I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm an old friend of Eric's." He was all Mr. Cool and Comfortable. Kind of shaggy, but he seemed sincere enough.

"Eric?" She shook her head. "I dunno an Eric."

He rattled off the address.

"Yeah, you're at the right address, but I dunno an Eric." She looked at him serious without batting a lash.

"You're sure?" The guy winced.

"I'm totally sure." She kind of smiled as if she would not lie. Never.

"Well," he backed away. "I guess-"

"Did you want to come in?" She couldn't resist asking.

"Well-" He winced.

"I'm sorry, dunno this Eric, but you look like you could use some coffee, or tea." She almost added me, to the list. Damn, if she didn't love a risk. She did. And she totally hated that about herself.