We ♥ It
"Things are getting better, aren't they?" Doyle finally got a chance to visit Amanda, where she was staying.
"Supposedly." Amanda wasn't too cheerful about it.
"But you're suppose to go home this week." Doyle looked at her as if all could not be lost.
"Yeah." Amanda nodded. "But I feel like such a failure." She winced.
"Aren't you suppose to be thinking positive here." Doyle reminded her. "You didn't hurt anyone. Remember."
"I know." She nodded. "It could have been so much worse. I'm thankful I wasn't a story on the news about some mother hurting her infant. I really don't want anything bad to happen to Evan. I think its best I stay away right now."
"You're sure?" Doyle didn't know if he could do that if he were ever in such a situation. "Don't you miss him?"
"Kind of," Amanda admitted. "But, but its like I've given him up, and-"
"I'm sure Evan's Dad, isn't going to keep you from him." Doyle took a walk with Amanda down to the snack shop where other patients visited with guests.
"I dunno. I'm afraid to even ask if I could see him now." Amanda shook her head.
"Well, maybe little by little, you can, you know, get back into being a part of his life." Doyle encouraged.
"Yeah, I've got Rosie to think about too." Amanda shrugged. "I guess you never have anything like this, to get you down. You're above that kind of thing."
"Well, I envy you. I do. I mean, you let yourself fall into, anything, and you somehow, manage through it. I can't even let myself get that close to anybody. I'm afraid. I guess. I hate rejection so much, I don't even let myself think about getting near it."
"So that's what you were talking about?" Amanda winced. "From before, when you said there was a reason we didn't get together?"
"Yeah. I guess that was it." He sighed.
Amanda just smiled.
"Don't worry," she looked at him then. "I'm still very much, in love with Elliot. I can't wait to see him. I just think we need some time to be together. That's all I want right now."