Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Kyle felt as if he'd let a lot of people down. Elliot. Eric. Especially, Amanda.
"Well, stop it." Amber looked at him as if he couldn't be in this mood. "You can only do so much. And you did everything you could. Quit thinking all this maybe stuff. She's going to be fine."
"It just freaks me out." Kyle couldn't listen to Amber. She didn't know. She wasn't there. She was not him. "I mean, I'm just an enabler. You know. I should have done something. But I was just thinking, all the things I had to do, and if she wasn't going to help me with Rosie, well, I couldn't wait for her to change."
"Look we all make mistakes. And Amanda should have talked to you. She really should have. Just stop putting all the blame on yourself." He could see Amber had had enough with the Amanda situation. And she was right. Prom was right around the corner. There were so many things to get ready for. Like graduation.
"Sorry." And he was. He didn't mean to bring her down. He had to remember her, and his own life. He had to be thankful that Evan was OK. He was on Eric's side. But still it was hard not to wonder what would happen next. Would Amanda ever be 'fixed'. Was that even a reasonable solution? He knew she didn't love him. And he wished he didn't care, but he did.
Yet, he knew right now, he needed to be with Amber. Rosie was happy. His Mom was happy for him. Yet, he found himself wanting to talk with Amanda, but he knew it wasn't his place. It might be a mistake. She had Elliot now.
But it was hard not to be sad. It wasn't easy going on with things. So many thoughts of her, wondering if she'd ever cared about him at all. He was starting to think some of this wasn't even worth knowing. Yet it was so hard to let go even when he knew how happy he was with Amber. There were some things he wished he'd done differently. Right now he had a picnic at the park to get to with Amber.