Sunday, August 22, 2010

one more time

Amanda had to wonder if she were going to miss the shows after the last concert.

Probably not.

For one thing her right ear hurt. She seriously wondered if her hearing could be going from all the noise. She was half sick, perhaps, not that sick. She just kept going.

Thank God, for the bed in the back of the bus. Yeah, she might miss that. Waking up with Elliot. Those were nice thoughts. But pulsating music shaking the porta potty when you had to pee....not so much.

All this had been a lot of work. Her stomach was in knots, sometimes. So she didn't eat. She'd lost weight and hadn't even meant too. She'd also seen a lot of things, she hadn't meant to, either. Like the old biker dude with the gray chest hair just in mud and nothing else, back at the Grass Roots festival. She remembered Elliot laughing at her and how she'd made him promise not to ever do anything like that. Yeah, those were some of the things she wished she'd missed.

Perhaps they'd skipped out on a lot of party-times. But they weren't there to be potheads or drunks. Seriously, she thought this was to bring her and her little brother closer. He was the main reason why she was here. Only, she knew now that he was still bitter with her for leaving Kyle and marrying Elliot, and that he really wasn't happy being with her older brother Dan and his partner.

As she looked at Elliot, all so emerged into the music on stage getting ready for their last gig, she hoped he never became that old biker dude who only wanted to wear mud. Couldn't people get diseases like that? Amanda just winced, thinking about it. Yet, she was so proud of Elliot. And it wasn't until now that she never knew she could love him this much, nor the fact that he could love her like this. It made her smile. Yeah, he was definitely the one. They'd survived lightening, high winds, hail storms and moody audiences. Maybe she was a little bit tougher this time. Or just stronger.

Knowing herself, her songs and what to do on stage came to her like clock work. She knew all the words to the songs. She could be doing this in her sleep, but when all was said and done after a long night of bellowing tunes to strangers and hoping to get more of a reaction than just a glare while they drank their beer...she just wanted to come home to Elliot and no one else. There was a sadness that sank through her...would Rosie even know her? Worst yet, would Evan even let her hold him?

8 comments:

simon and josh said...

I think she's grown a lot.

lucy and sarah said...

Aw..it gives me a bit of sadness how it must feel as an artist on stage. The ups and downs. A life of its own. And yet there is that other life waiting for her at home, too.

ivy said...

But she's got Elliot. =D

Hope she works it out with her kids.

Cafe Fashionista said...

I hope they can work things out. :)

ori said...

I think she's learned so much.

DFF said...

Sounds like its been a rough road this summer, singing.

meg said...

I hope she's grown up this summer.

FashionJazz said...

Hope they can work things out.... have a lovely Monday xxx