thats how it goes

This was cutting it close. Christmas time was a horrible time to break up, but after Ian listened to Amy go on and on about their plans for Christmas...he just couldn't take it. "I don't think you should come." For starters, he just wasn't up for this Christmas marathon. He'd have to give up his room. It was all so much it was beginning to drowned him. He hung up on her after the silence.  She just wanted too much of him. And he just wasn't ready. Evidently.

He could barely breathe now, sitting there in his room. Maybe he was incapable of being the perfect boyfriend. He just didn't know. He nursed his bottom lip thinking of Oliver and Kayla, how they longed to be together. He didn't feel that at all, for Amy. Perhaps it was the fact that she'd stopped listening to him. True, she wanted him there for her, but she really only expected things of him, like a duty of some kind. After all, her house had burned down, and her family just couldn't stop having worries about her reckless sisters.

Just then his phone rang. He picked up with dread. "What do you want?"

"Well, a fine how do you do, luv." It was Collette.

"Sorry, you on holiday now? Bugger, when did you get my number, anyhow?" He hadn't expected to hear from her. Sure, it was a nice visit, but he really hadn't felt up to keeping in contact with her since his mum's funeral.

"Jesus, Ian, is it so much trouble to call a mate?" She was in a pisser mood now.

"Forgive me, I'm - I'm not feeling well, all right." He closed his eyes shut wondering what in the devil she'd want.

"I'm pregnant." She sounded so final.

"What have I got to do with it?" He came back with, but he knew this wasn't about blame.

"Nothing. Its just I had to tell someone." She told him.

"You haven't even told your Mum?" He felt miserable thinking she'd lost that happy smile of hers, completely now.

"Actually, I'm down at the clinic trying to think exactly what to do." She told him then.

"Jesus, don't make me decide for you." Ian fretted. "Look, what ever you do, you have to be strong enough for the consequences."

"All right." She was quiet. "As if you'd be any help."

"Do you even know, who's it is?" Of course, she didn't. Really, she was making him sick. A part of himself was happy not to get mixed up with her. He didn't want to think how awful this would be if he were the father of her child. Ian just listened. He felt himself shake inside. He wondered when things would be normal again. If ever. He hung up on Collette, and went to throw up.

He thought he might be sick. Ian wasn't much good for anyone, was he? He laid down and hugged his pillow. This had to be the worst holiday ever.