brother to brother

What had he done? Ian let it roll over and over in his mind. He felt down right sleepless.

He knew there were a lot more worries in the world than what was going on with him right now.  This catastrophe with Elliot. It was bound to change things with Derrick and his family. He was still getting troublesome phone calls from Amy.

Maybe he'd done this, to escape her?

"I know something is bothering you." Oliver brought it up, even if he had more than his fill this new year. He'd gotten on as the one and only chef at the British cafe. They were banking on him to bring back customers with scones, fish and chips and bangers and beans. True, it wasn't much of a salary. But if it all went well, it would pay off. That was just it, waiting for the pay off. But he'd taken it right in stride. He was with Kayla, and he seemed rather happy since he got here.

"Its nothing." Ian sounded ominous though. He'd came to check out the cafe. It had a counter full of candies and teas from England.

"Talk to me." Oliver winced. He brought Ian tea and scones. Ian looked around. There was no one here but the old lady who owned the place, and she couldn't hear that well. They took a seat at the table in the back corner. "I know something happened. I can see it, on your face. You, all right?"

"Yeah. Of course." Ian nodded wishing he had better acting skills.

"I know you said you broke up with Ames. Is that it? Second thoughts?" Oliver stared at him intently.

"No." Ian winced. He didn't think that was it. It was the fact, explaining himself. What would his family think of him now? His Dad? Eric? But he had to talk to someone. Yet how could he explain it? Exactly? He couldn't say something like...oh, I just decided to change teams. See how it feels. It was getting lame and boring with Ames. That wouldn't do it. Ian gritted then. "I'm seeing someone new." He sucked in a breath.

"Well, that's great." Oliver grinned. "Is she older? Is that why you're suddenly so secretive?"

Ian cleared his throat. "Uh, no." Ian though of Kayla then. He nursed his upper lip. He didn't want to open some thing like old news about her, and his feelings for her last summer. "See, I do, like girls." And he'd really felt something with Kayla. This was true. It just didn't happen. Funny, how he could hold out, switch gears, so to speak. "I don't know what happened to me. I don't want to blame it on Mum. I don't. Its not her fault." He winced hard. He didn't want to bring up older shit from his past. But the fact remained, one of his Mum's old boyfriends had kissed him. He was much younger then. It was confusing. The fellow was drunk. It was nothing. He liked to believe that. Of course, this with Derrick wasn't like that, at all. It was genuine. It was exciting. New, and not at all like this weight he'd carried with Amy and her family problems. It was as if she'd expected him to save her from something. He just wasn't up to it. He felt lost in the sea of life as it was. "But, I-I...kissed a boy."

"Oh." Oliver choked, trying not to be too loud. "I see."

Ian just stared at Oliver, wondering what he thought.

"You're young. Just..just be careful." Oliver told him. "You have loads to get through before you settle, you know."

Ian nodded.

"Is he sweet?" Oliver asked.

Ian grinned. He couldn't think of Derrick actually being sweet, but he thought he'd stepped up with everything that had happened with his sister, Amanda. Maybe he was.