Monday, March 7, 2011
the cold dark truth
"You can't change my mind." Ian said quickly enough. He knew what this was about. Eric showing up, out of the blue at the library.
"About what?" Eric winced. "I was just coming to ask you if you wanted to do lunch at Oliver's."
"Well, its not exactly his establishment." Ian suddenly felt cold as he put the last of his cart away.
"You know what I mean." Eric put his hand on Ian's shoulder and he flinched. He wasn't ready to talk about this that he was sure Eric would bring up.
"Fine." He was a bit gruff. Ian didn't want to be, yet he felt he had to be automatic with his attitude with Eric.
"So how are you?" Eric asked after Ian clocked out, and they headed to Eric's car in the stiff wind. No snow, but it was too cold. Still.
"Great. I guess." Ian got in, wishing he didn't have to talk to Eric.
"Wonderful." Eric was a bit too cheery for Ian.
"Yeah, right." Ian said under his breath as he looked out the passenger window.
"Evan is learning to sign. He can tell us when he's hungry now. He laughs with his hands." Eric said as he drove toward old town.
"Oh, goodie." Ian couldn't help but be snide. "I'll have to come see him, sometime."
"Yes, we'd love that. And..and you can bring..your friend too." Yes, there he said it.
"He's my boyfriend. And you know it." Ian looked at his brother then.
"Of course, your boyfriend." Tony remained even lipped with his hands on the wheel. His car sloshed through the pot holes that winter had already left. It was kind of a bumpy ride. "Do..do Mum and Dad know, exactly?"
"Don't you think you'd know, if they did?" He just hadn't gotten around to it. He would. This didn't really bother Derrick. He guessed. Ian let out a breath.
"Well...well, if it would help, I-I could be with you when..you know..it happens." Eric found a parking place next to the cafe.
"I was thinking..." Ian got out as Eric did too. "Oliver said he'd do it."
"Good. But I want to be there for support, too." Eric told him.
"What, we're making this into some sort of party?" Ian gave him a scowl.
"Only if you want to." Eric grinned. He gave his brother a pat on the back. "Just joking."
Ian licked his dry lips. Damn, if he didn't need lip balm. Like always. Perhaps he and Derrick kissed far to much. He hoped it wasn't too obvious to Eric. Ian reached in his pocket for his Carmex. They found a seat and ordered the special of the day, Shepherd's pie.
"I'm just trying to be supportive. Its not that you're really gay, is it?" Eric winced.
"Well, at some point I think its really gay." Ian joked.
"Fine. Whatever." Eric looked around. It was late. Not a customer in sight at two in the afternoon. "The point is..I know what you're going through."
"No, you don't." Ian stared at him.
"But I do. I honestly do." Eric told him. "I-I had a crush on someone, once."
"You?" Ian didn't believe him.
"Yes, its true. But, but it didn't amount to anything. Really. He was the only one. I thought then, but I walked in on him with someone...and I knew then, that was not what I wanted. Are you sure this what you want? Really, forever?" His words sounded so bewildering.
Ian listened to the word forever. God, that sounded like an awful long time to him.