Thursday, March 3, 2011
that's all it was
Amber couldn't tell Kyle the truth because..because..it was just..
Just a kiss...with Roger.
So it wasn't that awful. Now was it?
She sat down on the commode in the women's restroom at the steakhouse where she and Kyle took Sam for dinner. It was an instant breakdown. Or a panic attack. Yes, she felt kind of dizzy. Not really here. No, just thoughts of Roger swallowed her. Or was that Roger at all? Someone who looked like him, but normally wasn't him.
She squinted hard, thinking this was the end. She had no where to go. Nowhere. She finally got up to get herself together. Flushed. Went out to see herself in the mirror. She looked wicked. She'd smudged the eyeliner. God, what had she done to Kyle.
There had only been Kyle. She was proud of that. He wouldn't admit it..but he was too. Committed. That's what they were. They really were. Until now.
She cleaned her face up and went back to the table. They were in the middle of the salads. There hers was, soaked in a raspberry vinaigrette. She put a mouth full in. And chewed. And chewed. But suddenly, it was caught in her throat. She was choking. She looked around. She was gagging. Her eyes watering. For second she thought she might be a goner. But she caught herself from making anymore of a bad scene. It was nothing. She told Kyle it was nothing.
That look on his face. Yes, she'd rattled him. As if he got it now. It was a mistake that she was here.She tried to laugh it off, but she couldn't eat. She couldn't.
This was just wrong. She knew it. But she couldn't let them know what the wrong was. There was no need to be conspicuous. After all, it was just a kiss. Only a kiss.