Sunday, September 25, 2011
in the dark
Josie tried her hardest not to notice Jules at the concert. Instead she grabbed Max by the hand and took off to the inner circle of where the fans were, which might turn into the mosh pit.
"Ow." She thought she heard Max say, but she could barely hear him for all the noise and music.
They'd sufficed at the homecoming dance. Of course, they had to go with Derrick and Ian. Just like to tonight. It was as if Derrick wouldn't let Max out of his sight. Naturally, he'd laid down the law to her about Max. She had to be kind to him. Something about his mother dying, which she'd rolled her eyes at, at the time he said it. She wasn't going to let anything happen to him. He was cute. Really, sweet. Yes, she knew she needed to be kinder to him. Not be so bossy. But she couldn't help it. She just needed to stop thinking about Jules. But he was here. And..and she wanted to see him, again. Not that she'd want to have anything to do with him. It was just..she hadn't had a chance to talk the last time. He ran out on her before she had a chance to say anything.
She felt her chest tighten. Anger, possibly. And as she looked at Max, she knew he didn't deserve this.
"Can you get me something to drink!" She finally decided in the masses.
"What?" His big puppy eyes looked at her as if he didn't understand.
"To drink!" She pointed to the concessions.
"LIKE WHAT!" Now he was screeching to ask.
"ANYTHING!" So he left her there, and she looked around wondering where she could go in this maze to find Jules. She was determined to find him. But of course, he was close to the bar. She went toward the restrooms hoping he would go that way. Damn, if he wasn't busy chatting it up with the guys. She gritted hard, hugging herself. She spotted Max with the bottles of soda pop so she backed into the dark, close to where they were selling the T-shirts and the CDs.
Finally, Jules stepped out for a cigarette. That's when she found Jules alone. Only, he had his back to her, and she stared at him in the chill of the fall night. Suddenly, she felt goosebumps, thinking what to say.
When he turned to see her, for a moment he looked like he might be happy to see her. "Shit!" He backed away and suddenly gave her a miserable look. "What are you doing here?"
"I dunno." She barely managed. "I thought-"
"You know what I thought." His words were cold as he glared at her. "Get back to your cute little loverboy, before its too late, before he knows what sort of slapper he's got. Now beat it!"
"I hate you!" She'd never felt so alive until she said it. Yet, it was a different kind of alive than how she'd felt before when they were together. Josie felt her self shaking inside.
"Good." Jules winced a nasty scowl then.
Her heart beat thundered, yet she felt as if she could hardly breathe. It was so dark behind the concert hall and she could feel it surrounding her as if she'd be lost if she stayed a moment more, but she went back toward the light and the warmth of the concert. She was afraid to look back to see if he were watching her, but a part of her hoped he was.