needing time

"Well, I'm sorry." Amanda felt as if she were late for her very own recital. The food was getting cold. And people were waiting for her. Everyone gathered around soon enough. There were just too many people. She couldn't even find Rosie. Of course, Rosie clung on to her leg,soon enough, looking up at her with all smiles.

"I miss you, Mommie." Her words tugged at her heart. She felt as if she might melt. "I miss you too." She'd lost her appetite and she felt a little dizzy too. Maybe her blood sugar was low. She could feel herself break out into a sweat.

Amanda looked at the food, but too tired to eat. Finally, she sat down at the couch and let Rosie crawl over her. Evan, too. She felt a little shaky. Her body was so tired, but she tried not to think of herself, but to listen to Rosie and watch Evan who was trying to be as sassy as Rosie. Only she could tell Evan knew Rosie more, than he did her. Still, he stared at her and finally gave her a wet kiss on the cheek like Rosie did.

It was all so overwhelming. As of yet she hadn't made it over to Pearl. Derrick was cuddling her like she was his favorite pet. He was saying silly things, and Pearl smiled in fasination. At least, no signs of Autism. Funny, how that came to her now. All of her children were so animated, and not to her doing. Although, she supposed Rosie acted more like her than the other two, ever would.

Evan jabbered away, but she had no idea what he was saying. Finally, Syd came over to tell her that he was trying to show her his boo-boos. He was a little accident prone. Evidently, he liked to climb, as he was right now. On top of the couch, behind her head.

Max brought her a plate. He told her she needed to eat. Seriously, he watched after her. She almost melted into tears. She felt she was the worst big sister in the world. She still wasn't sure what grade he was in.

"Thank you." She did her best to smile. Yet, she felt she was losing the battle. Would they really miss her?