Friday, February 17, 2012
just a paper heart
"Well, that was lovely." Henry thought he heard Derrick say at the dance after their third time to the punch bowl.
"What?" Henry looked around. He didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Everyone was having a delightful time.
"Its nothing." Only Derrick was straight lipped.
The disco light rolled above, and people were dancing in its pulse as the light turned to red, green, yellow then dark and back again.
"Come on." Henry took his hand. They didn't need to be back on the side lines. It was out there they needed to be. A good move was all one needed to help get through one of these things. Not that the two of them had really dwelt on past boyfriends and just how far they'd go to enjoy each others company.
Couldn't it be like this? Always? A date for the dance. Friday nights at the movies. Maybe they could jam. Yes, he'd brought it up. Derrick could come over. He'd bring his electric. Henry's drum set was in the basement. Oh, the things they could do. It would be fun. It would be grand to have a boyfriend.
Of course, there was the other part that settled in the pit of his stomach like a soured milkshake. What if he was no good, with what came..afterwards? He really never had a proper kiss, except that one time from his Aunt who was possibly high and thought she was still with her boyfriend when she came home late and found the wrong bed to get in. It wasn't that disturbing. Still it was all he had to go on. It worried him a little. He wasn't exactly sophisticated on these romantic matters.
Henry really wanted to be honest with Derrick. He wanted so much for Derrick to be OK with him. But he kept moving. He put in a little tap dance routine he vaguely remembered from when he took lessons at five. It didn't matter how idiotic his limbs flew around, he guessed. He wanted to have fun. But he wasn't so sure Derrick thought he was so fun. He could see it on his face. Now. Henry was sure he was defeating the purpose. But the music kept going in circles like a silly rap song that kept the dance energy going. But he felt like a balloon losing air. Maybe he'd lost Derrick completely, already. Yes, he was sure of it. Derrick wasn't moving at all.