Saturday, May 19, 2012
around and around we go
The denim slippers would go with everything. Ian noticed Josie was smiling now as if she truly knew the comfort of a TOMS' shoe.
He paid for them.
"But you didn't have too." She suddenly lost her smile.
"Its OK. You needed shoes." He shrugged. The mall wasn't exactly hopping at the moment, but he knew she needed to rest and he had another job to get too.
"Let me buy you dinner, at least." Josie looked up at him as if she couldn't let him do everything.
"You don't have too." Honestly, he didn't have much of an appetite, lately. A part of him felt he was on a fasting program of sorts. Of course, part of it was staying clear of Kayla. It hurt to even see Oliver in the morning. He would meet him early in the morning with the goods for the shop. It was basically business. Ian never wavered from what was given to him. He avoided eye contact for the most part. Still, he imagined the worst of it. Always, being alone. Not wanting to go to family gatherings. How could he cut himself off, like that? There would be questions. And he couldn't handle questions. No, somehow, he was going to have to live with the fact that he might be more than an uncle to a future someone. He just couldn't let himself go there.
"Come on, lets try that new burger place." Josie flashed her Mom's bank card.
"All right." He didn't think he could say, no. It was only food.
"I guess you're really upset about Lola and that new guy." Josie said a few minutes later when she was dipping a fry into her ketchup at the food court.
"She's seeing someone?" Ian looked at her blankly as he took the onions off his fat burger. Ian sighed and tried to manage a bite.
He supposed that might be why Lola hadn't returned any of his text or calls.
"I thought..you knew." She looked at him puzzled.
"Good, for her." He bit into a fry before he had time to think about it. He tried to eat the burger, but it felt stuck in his mouth. He thought he might choke. The thought of how he looked to other people was overwhelming, somehow. Ian looked at Josie, wondering what she saw when she looked at him? Was he just as pathetic as he felt?
A part of him wanted to spill his guts to her, but he wasn't sure what to say. Where do you begin to explain a mistake?