Saturday, June 30, 2012

all I need

Thank God, Kyle's wife Rox wasn't here, thought Amber as soon as she got to the brunch. She didn't know if she could take it, seeing so many happy faces. Of course, she did her best to act happy too.

She wasn't sure she could ever be friends with Olivia, again. She thought she could trust her, of course, Olivia was a blabber mouth. And yes, maybe she felt as if she were in grade school again, trying to handle all these female bonding emotions. How come, it never got any easier?

She'd never really had that sisterhood of the traveling pants feeling while growing up with girlfriends. Maybe it was because she was a farm girl. They were the kind of people who'd help out anyone in a pinch. She guessed. Yet, they didn't socialize that much. Well, maybe Mass once a week. But those were the old days. Days when she felt as if she were a little girl on the prairie.

Amber had to admit she was glad those days were over. She was not cut out to be her mother. However, she was a late bloomer. She never dated much. Then there was Kyle and she'd left a former life for him. And that hadn't worked out, either.

But it occurred to Amber now, that she was not Syd. Definitely, not Ellie and perhaps, she didn't have all that much in common with Olivia, after all.

Yes, Olivia was with the love of her life. Olivia would always be happy with Ravi, which meant they didn't have to have a lot. Just each other. This was a gift Amber could not find. Not even with Scott. Oh, she played her part, and he thought they were OK. He wanted to give her everything. And she kept hoping she'd wake up and know exactly what he meant, and feel exactly as he felt. But it hadn't happened yet.

Of course, her old friends came around, asked her all about living in Tuscan. What did she do there? Was she still in school? Thankfully, no one asked if she were going to start a family. Perhaps, Syd and Ellie were walking on egg shells around her. But at least they were making the brunch about her. Not about them. It was absolutely wonderful.

Yet, she felt all the more selfish. She really couldn't say a word about now. About who she'd met. Where that might go.

Amber couldn't help but smile. She could see it on Olivia's face.

"Everything, is all right." Amber looked at Olivia. "Don't worry, I only saw Roger once." Yes, somehow she'd found closure. Perhaps, she opened another door for Roger. Maybe she'd even taken the hinges off that door and he couldn't shut it, even if he tried. The thought pleased her.

However, Amber couldn't say a word about who she'd found to help her cope through any of this. It just wouldn't be right to let any of them know that she was possibly back for good. Yes, she'd moved on. Some how. A part of her felt much wiser now. All because of Scott's brother, Lance.

1 comment:

lucy and sarah said...

Amber certainly is surprising!