Thursday, January 31, 2013
a little thing
Fish was feeling a bit shaky. He didn't know why.
Maybe it was because he hadn't seen Derrick all day. And he had something to say. Although, when he thought about it, was it just an excuse to see him? He really didn't think so. It disgusted him to think this. It was like a bad taste in his mouth. How could he possibly be attracted to him. He was not that way with anyone, or so he kept reminding himself through the day.
No, it was the fact he wished Derrick could have heard his little sister play. She was fantastic, but Derrick was a no show. He needed Derrick on his side about this band stuff. Syreeta really needed to be in the band. After all, someone had to be her cheerleader.
But Derrick wasn't anywhere. Fish felt a little nervous now. Maybe he wouldn't see him. Maybe it was best he didn't have a word with him. After all, wasn't like Derrick exactly gave him the time of day. Yet, he felt a twinge of misery. It was true, Fish was invisible.
And so, he would just shrug it off. Walk on. See if that new book, John Dies at the End was at the library he'd just put a hold on. See, he was good at doing things by himself. He'd have to remember that. But the cold was a stiff icy wind. His nostrils were instantly frozen when he walked outside.
"Hey, you need a lift." Someone said from behind him. Of course, he felt like an old man, to turn himself back and look. It was Derrick.
"I didn't think you were here, today." Fish looked at him as if Derrick must have been hiding from someone.
"Sure, I was here." He pointed to the car. It wasn't so far away. Fish caught up with him, and soon he was sitting in the front seat.
"Missed you, at Zac's." Fish told him.
"Yeah, right." Derrick smirked. Fish felt as if Derrick might be mocking him.
"Seriously, we, need you." Fish looked at Derrick as if he were important. "I-I can still remember, the first time I heard you playing that harmonica solo at that Christmas concert. I never knew of anyone who could do something so original."
"You remember that?" Derrick winced as if that was someone else. He wasn't that sophomore anymore who was working as hard as he could to please a music teacher. "I'd taught myself."
"And it was fantastic." Fish assured him. "See, my sister Syreeta has a lot natural talent, too. Its just, I'm not sure Zac likes her much."
Derrick got his old car going and they left the school grounds.
"Are you sure you, want to share your sister with Zac?" Derrick looked over at him at a stoplight.
"What?" Fish tried to laugh. It was funny, wasn't it? "I just think you need to tell him, what you think. That we need her. We do."
"You, really want me too?" Derrick asked even if Fish thought Derrick's mind might be somewhere else. Probably something about Sunny.
"Yeah." Fish nodded.
"Who knows, maybe Zac's got a thing for your sister. You, think you can handle that?" Derrick asked as he drove on near Fish's street. He was almost to his house.
"I guess." Fish had never thought about it.
"Well, you know, I get how you feel about him." Derrick almost smiled.
"What? Feelings? No." Fish squinted hard with disgust. "He's my friend. Just my friend."
"Sure he is." Derrick shrugged as if he were OK with it. He pulled into Fish's driveway. No one said a thing for a few seconds. Fish guessed he needed to go. The silence wore on.
"You want to do something fun?" Derrick finally asked as Fish reached for the door.
"Fun?" Fish winced as if that was a stupid question.
"You, want to drive my car?" Derrick shrugged.
Fish shook his head, no. Still the idea was mind blowing. He'd always wanted to drive. But no one would teach him. "I can't."
"Why can't you? You know, you want to." Derrick smiled.
"I-I..I might hurt someone." He sounded like his mother when he said it.
Derrick pulled out of the drive way.
"Come on, lets see what you got." Derrick seemed to know where they were going. Fish felt maybe he'd been kidnapped, but not really. Of course, he imagined a long drive to some old dirt road and he'd take a spin and they'd end up in a snowbank.
Derrick drove to the empty mega-church parking lot.
"Here?" Fish looked around.
"Yeah." Derrick turned off the car and opened his door. "Lets see what you, can do in a parking lot."
Fish pressed his lips tight. He felt so strange. Uncertain. But there was Derrick, looking at him as if he had faith in him.
Fish got out and they exchanged seats. He sat where Derrick's warm body had been. Possibly, it would give him what he needed to do this.
"I dunno, if..if its such a good idea." Fish shook his head.
"Look, there is nobody here." Derrick smiled. "But us."
Fish nodded. He turned the key carefully. The car came to life, and it was at his finger tips. He gripped the wheel.
"OK, just use the foot you feel most comfortable with." Derrick told him.
Fish nodded with a sigh. He put the car in drive and lunged forward. He smiled as he steadied the vehicle.
"See, you can do this." Derrick grinned. Fish did too.
Fish never had anyone with this much faith in him, and it was a good feeling.