Friday, March 15, 2013
As long as you love me
Dorian felt so cold, yet angry. Disgusted. Helpless.
What was Ruben trying to do?
"Don't even come near me." His left eye quivered ever so slightly. He hugged himself tight. "You're a liar." He did believe it. Didn't he?
There were some bruises, he couldn't quite explain when he blacked out back in September. He really didn't remember that night. Not that much. It was so faded. He didn't want to think about it. He hadn't. But he looked at Ruben with a new perspective. He hated him. He honestly did.
What sort pleasure was Ruben getting out of this?
"I don't know what you want, or..." He could barely form his questions as he pondered over his slippery memories. "You didn't even come to the hospital. You weren't worried about me. You..." Dorian's face filled with disgust now. "God, what ..what did I ever see in you..in the first place?"
"Don't say that." Ruben's voice was soft now as if there was no shame. No distress. "I'm here now. I want you back."
"Just go to a bar. Try that line on someone else." Dorian shook his head. "It'll be easy for you. It always is. Evidently." He gritted.
"Stop." Ruben winced as if it were a very sensitive subject. "I don't go to the bars. I hate the discos." He sounded as if he might fall into his native tongue any moment. Perhaps in French or was that Italian?
Dorian did not want to be persuaded. He looked at Ruben as if he were some kind of bully.
"I did reach out. I did. I thought about you. All the time." He sounded so honest, but Dorian didn't believe him. Dorian had figured him out, now hadn't he?
"I know. Like a post card, would woo you." He looked at Dorian, trying to reach for him, but Dorian backed away even if they were sitting on the same couch together, yet like bookends, very far apart. "Its just...I've never had to do this before. I mean..you know." He shrugged.
Dorian rolled his eyes, imagining everyone falling at Ruben's feet from all walks of life. Dorian chewed the inside of his cheek in thought, thinking he should be on his cell right now, trying to get Eli back. Yet he couldn't budge.
"I don't want to hurt you. I never did." Why did Ruben's voice have to be so sexy?
"You just need to go. You have to. I mean, is it love? Or just sex with you?" Dorian looked him in the eye.
"I never thought of that." Ruben looked so odd. "I just miss you. I really miss you, Dorian."
It was the first time Ruben ever said his name. Funny, it sounded so foreign on Ruben's lips.