Saturday, April 6, 2013
going through changes
Olivia supposed it was decided. They'd live here at her place which of course, was originally her sister's.
Slowly, she was coming to terms with this new beginning. However, there were times she felt she was part of a still life painting. She hadn't exactly the energy to mention the pregnancy to anyone. She knew she needed to start somewhere (At least Ellie knew). There was a plan to tell Luc's parents first. Yet, she wanted to put everything on hold. Actually, it was getting through the first month. Although, she was a good two months along now. Unfortunately, she knew she couldn't exactly hide it. And she didn't mean too. It was the idea of keeping practically calm. Yet, she hadn't reached out to many old friends, either.
And then... she accidentally saw Roger at the grocery store.
Olivia felt a bit faint and awful at the same time. It had been months since she'd seen Ryan. First it was the aftermath with the whole Ravi situation. Then winter set in. She suddenly regretted not getting in touch with her.
"Where's Ryan?" She looked around the produce isle. She imagined her popping up by the kiwi.
"Oh." Roger looked just as shocked to see her.
"Oh? What?" Olivia studied Roger's odd expression as if the worst had already happened. He knew she was pregnant.
"I don't guess, you know." He hugged himself as he looked down at the small cart of junk food. So many things Ryan would have never let in the house.
"I don't know. And I know its all my fault." She winced hard. She hated that she'd let things go, but they were planning a wedding, weren't they? Of course, she knew Ryan was rather aloof about the plans. She guessed Ryan didn't want to talk to her about it, considering what Olivia had been through in the fall.
"Its not anyone's fault." Roger shrugged. "She decided what she wanted, and she didn't want me to be a part of it. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to do ..." He couldn't finish the sentence.
Olivia supposed this had to do with Ryan wanting to completely change her gender.
"I found it!" Some one held up a huge bag a popcorn. "Told you, they had it in cheddar." The teenage boy grinned from ear to ear, practically. Olivia noticed the resemblance, instantly.
"Olivia," Roger almost winked with regret, "This is my brother, Sawyer."
Olivia looked at the boy puzzled. She never knew he had a brother. She did remember his step sister and brother on his mother's side, but this was definitely new. She reluctantly offered a handshake. The boy gave her a hearty handshake.
"Sawyer and Dad live with me now." Roger shrugged. "Technically, its still dad's house."
"I see." She smiled thinking how much had changed. "But Ryan? Where is she? Can I- should I?"
"She went to New York City. She said she wanted to be alone. She's starting over." Roger was even lipped. He wouldn't say much more with Sawyer around, who put in the popcorn along with a jar of hazelnut peanut-butter in the cart.
"Well, since you are here," she sighed, deciding it was now or never. It was best not to keep it from anyone anymore. "I'm pregnant."