Saturday, November 30, 2013
Fade to gray
It was all so gray. Even now.
Crosby went straight to bed when he got home from the marthon of burritos and eggrolls and what ever else came with the foodtruck. He wanted to say it was a blur, but everything stopped when he looked up and saw Lola at the foodtruck with that guy. Crosby couldn't think of him as her husband.
It was as if he were frozen in time as he stared at her. The way she was acting, he guessed she didn't even notice him. She was friendly with Sara. Even said hello to Hansen, but not a word to him.
And it hurt. It so hurt. He was wounded now. It was as if their love never really existed. It was definitely not strong enough..for anything.
How did somebody deal with such emotion that cut just like a knife? He didn't want to have feelings about this, but it was there in his steady heartbeat. He could hardly breathe. And then he slept.
It was all so murky, when the doorbell rang. He wasn't exactly sure if he'd answered it or not. He thought he did.
He thought it must be Lola. She'd came to him, after all. She was going to fix this. He couldn't help but smile.
"Is Hansen home?" came the the question, instead. He'd already shut the door. Crosby shook his head, no.
"Is he with her?" She groaned.
Crosby only shrugged. He was half asleep. He was going back to bed, and he thought he shut the door behind him. But when he blinked again, he was sure it was Lola.
"Why are you even here?" He thought he said, but she kissed him. And he kissed her back. His eyes were closed, and he thought of all the times they needed to make up. It had been so long. He hardly remembered her touch. Just the same it was hot like a secret lava turning into liquid gold. Crosby could not get enough of her there on his bed. White sheets. White heat. She made him smile. All over.
It was true, no one liked Ash. And it wasn't even Ash's fault. It was everyone else being the butthead. Well, it was the conclusion Lola came too, during Thanksgiving.
"Maybe..maybe I like my life now." She finally admitted to Quinn, who was the most accepting out of the bunch. Lola felt farther from her friends than ever before. And as she hugged herself now, ready to go back to New York City, she had a feeling it would be just the same, even without Ash.
"Its true, what they say, you can't go home." Lola sighed. Nothing stays the same, but she wanted to keep what she had with Ash. She didn't want that to change.
"Just don't worry. They'll come around. Eventually." Quinn gave her a hug and a smile. Evidently, Quinn's parents hadn't been too kind with her situation with Milo, either. But Liam needed her just as much as Milo did. "Be brave. I know your brother loves you. I'll talk to him. I'll call you."
"Thanks." Lola bit a smile. Before she knew it, Ash tugged her away and wrapped his arms around her as if nothing bad would ever touch them.
"Just think, next month we're off to my parents for the holidays." He reminded her with a kiss.
Still she felt a little jittery. As they walked away, she remembered that look on Crosby's face there in the foodtruck. She couldn't say anything. There was nothing she could do to ease the pain.
She winced as they went down the hall to their flight. Some things were never black and white.