the ups and downs of summer

Kayla was not in a good place. Mentally. Yes, she felt fragile, but at least her mother was there.

The first few days after she got out of her hospital after her asthma attack she stayed at her real parents and when the mother she grew up with came over, she wouldn't have anything to do with her.

She knew she would have insulted the woman more if she had said anything, because she would have lashed out, and it was too late now to even fix this lie she'd lived.

Still, Avery was on her mind. And she was certain when she finally did get through to Oliver... he was just going to leave Avery with Ian and his wife.

But she'd been nice, just like her mother said to do. Play nice.

Still, she wondered if it did much good. She knew her two moms who were sisters were whisper badgering each other. Yet, they went through the formalities of staying nice around Kayla.

Kayla was certain now that she could never be either one of them.

But it was a very delicate matter when it came to Oliver.

"Maybe..maybe we..we need a do over." Kayla finally suggested to Oliver over the phone.

"Don't think its necessary. " He brushed it off immediately that any of it was too late. Even if she was going to have his baby.  "I seriously doubt I could ever be on your mind." He told her he felt like a substitute of some kind. He asked if she was still vegan.

"Of course, not." She winced, thinking she'd been foolish on so many levels. It was as she'd been determined to make life miserable for him, some time now. "I want you and Avery to come home. I can't live..like this..with out..either of you."

At least she did have her real Mom and Audrey too. Perhaps it was a sunny June, but in her head it might as well be cold to the bone January.

"Every time, I think of you..I see you with him." There Oliver went about his doubts about her. It didn't seem to matter if the baby was his. He was sure she wished it was someone else's. How could he come back to that?

She knew he was lost, and she was certain now it was her doing. And when he told her how much she was just like his mother, who could never decide what she wanted either, Kayla thought she might fall apart all over again.

"I know what I want now." She begged with a raw throat. "I want you and Avery, with me."