a little fork in the road

Rossie scrunched her nose up, wanting to get testy. She kept thinking of the look on Zane's face when she told him she was pregnant.  He looked as if she was just asking for a problem. Especially, where she worked.

"You, don't really want to know." Rossie got up to make tea. She really did want to hibernate. The job was mainly clerical work, but occasionally, she did have to settle teenagers down that came into Kids, Inc. But she'd only threw up once so she didn't feel terrible.

She craved cold biscuits and left over fried chicken. Her grandmother's food. Of course, she was dead and gone to the world. Rossie barely remembered her face, but she didn't forget those cold suppers of hers. That was before her mother met Jeb and her life was turned upside down.

But that did feel like some other girl, and Rossie really didn't feel like remembering her.

Suddenly, her face dripped with tears. She felt terrible. Her nose stopped up, and she didn't know if she were breathing.

"I felt so bad when Van died." She could barely speak, and Jen had to come to the kitchen to listen in Rossie's tiny apartment. "He was a good friend of mine... Sure, we liked to smoke and drink." Of course, it was the hard stuff. "I dunno." She shook her head.

"You're having Van's baby?" Jen looked at her as if she might cry.

Rossie shook her head, no.

"Its hard to explain." She sighed as she cleared her throat and poured the hot water over the cheap teabags without any tags in the chipped tea cups. "I kept thinking, why..why even try ..anymore. You know, if..if could have something..that loved me."

And the tears came on, all over again.

"But who?" Jen looked so hurt.

"I know, I'm just a stupid girl. And..and why..why did Van have to die?" Her tear stained face was covered by her rough hands. "It doesn't matter."

"Of course, it matters."

"He doesn't have to know." She shook her head.

"No. Don't go down that road. You, are smart. You're talented." Jen cried with her as she put her arm around her. "And you have to start thinking positive. You, don't want a sad baby, do you?"

Rossie almost found herself laughing, but she still didn't want to tell Jen who the father was.